Sociopath Community

Hey Turn> on this thread, Clueless and I communicated fine.

But Ana and TK came in and "imposed" their opinions that did not apply to the exchange that occurred on this thread.

Are you going to be fair and say the same thing you said to me to both of them, too?

That they were "imposing" here? When nobody here asked and nothing here called for it.

by Turncoat

"With these two, I don't know what works."

Not forcing a solution on them is a start. You can't fix every problem, but more importantly, you shouldn't feel like you have to fix them. Life's a journey and everyone takes different paths. What helps one person could be irrelevant or even ruin someone else.

"Where even posts I made that were helpful get followed by a bunch of criticisms like here that had nothing to do with it. What do you call that?"

Life.

 OK so why can't you say that instead of me looking "unstable" then it's just "Life"

Isn't that more fair?

"Hey Turn> on this thread, Clueless and I communicated fine. But Ana and TK came in and "imposed" their opinions that did not apply to the exchange that occurred on this thread."

And it's their right to do so. Your taking it seriously shows weakness. Your wanting to change things only serves to show your distaste of what's already here.

"Are you going to be fair and say the same thing you said to me to both of them, too?"

Ana only mentioned your puppeteering here didn't she?

They're not butting into it, they're just saying how they feel on the matter. They aren't trying to get in the middle of you and Clueless, they are simply expressing themselves openly. The difference is that they aren't trying to change anything.

"That they were "imposing" here? When nobody here asked and nothing here called for it."

The charm of this place is being able to say whatever we want, and nothing should stop that. Censorship is lame.

That being said, you have the right to say whatever you want, just don't expect everyone to like it, and expect them to say whatever they want in response.

"OK so why can't you say that instead of me looking "unstable" then it's just "Life"

Caps on words displays aggression or enthusiasm unless done sarcastically. You don't strike me as the sarcasm type.

by Turncoat

T1. And it's their right to do so. Your taking it seriously shows weakness. Your wanting to change things only serves to show your distaste of what's already here.

E1a. OK as long as we both agree I have equal right, too, there is no issue. and

E1b. Do you also acknowledge that THEM "taking it seriously" shows THEIR weakness also? 

I don't agree with this perception of yours, but if you apply it equally to all sides, at least you are being fair.

T2. Ana only mentioned your puppeteering here didn't she?

They're not butting into it, they're just saying how they feel on the matter. They aren't trying to get in the middle of you and Clueless, they are simply expressing themselves openly. The difference is that they aren't trying to change anything.

E2. OK as long as we agree that I am not in charge of changing the forum either. That is Luna's business, and she happens to take input from all members here. 

And my replies to them are "also saying how we feel on the matter"

So as long as both sides are seen as being equally free to say things and to respond then we are square. But not criticizing me more than them for our differences.

T3. The charm of this place is being able to say whatever we want, and nothing should stop that. Censorship is lame. 

That being said, you have the right to say whatever you want, just don't expect everyone to like it, and expect them to say whatever they want in response.

E3. Yes, I agree. But please also see my other msg, that once Ana or TK decide to post a judgment call or false accusation of someone, of course they will end up answering to objections. That is just natural to take responsibility for the consequences, especially if you say something false or unfair. (For example, it is not true that I am in any way in charge of the forum. So it is insulting to both me and to Luna to keep insisting on it. And then to BLAME that on me or Luna is additionally unfair if it's not even true to begin with.) 

T4. Caps on words displays aggression or enthusiasm unless done sarcastically. You don't strike me as the sarcasm type.

E4. Ironic Turncoat. Someone just posted a LMAO reply about my sarcastic humor in response to Socio. I think the most sarcastic post I made was about how TK "must be special" if the laws of human nature that apply to all humanity somehow don't apply to her. 

If that's what it takes to speak to someone where they come from, then the communication won't happen until it is in the right format.

If TK uses short sarcasm, that's what I need to learn to talk to her.

It's all trial and error. The more I resolve issues with people the easier it gets to communicate in words and ways they understand.

Yes, I'm a political satirist. So yes I use lots of sarcasm in my spoofs. It's even funnier knowing this mean humor is coming from me, that is part of the irony. But it is there, I just need to use it where it is clear.

That's part of the reason I was here, is to learn how to juggle between using the empathetic explanation approach. And the spoofy or mean humor side, and how to translate and focus in more mainstream talk.

Thanks Turncoat. You are very astute and helpful.

I believe in equal free speech, too, but NOT stating false things about others without corrections. I don't see how it is imposing on others to correct when they make false or unfair statements about my intent.

Again, if they don't want to accept responsibility then don't say false things. I have equal right to defend my good intent and integrity.

I respect people's different opinions, but do not respect this habit of trying to "blame me" for other people's fears of things I am not doing!

I'd rather resolve that misperception than watch people suffer for it.

I think they don't get that I am sincere when I care for others; so they still think it must be a control game or other incentive motivating me?

by TARA

THAT is why I care about "resolving issues" with YOU, Ana and Hypercube

 I never asked you to resolve issues with me and I don't want you to. Capiche?

hello Mr Parker. 

Only he knows if he is a sociopath and only he knows his intentions. My point of this thread was to figure out if he is a threat or if I'm insignificant enough to him that I shouldnt worry. By threat, I mean would he do something like share stuff he knows about me, discredit me at work, etc. I was thinking that the best thing to do is to make myself as unthreatening as possible. Are you wondering if I'm paranoid? Just being careful. 

Emily, 

What I said had nothing to do with Clueless, but with you. The point is that the comment would be helpful but consistency suggests you're more interested in being a troll/puppet so why would anyone take your posts seriously? 

Yet again you're listing your accomplishments from this forum which just proves that you aren't doing it for the benefit of others, but for your own ego. Your Messiah complex is screaming so loudly that it's difficult to hear anything else you say a lot of the time.

I'm sorry that you aren't able to communicate effectively enough without the use of all caps. It must be frustrating. 

"E1a. OK as long as we both agree I have equal right, too, there is no issue. and"

Well yeah, we all should have the right to say what we want. It's what we do with that right that shows who we are.

"E1b. Do you also acknowledge that THEM "taking it seriously" shows THEIR weakness also?"

They're playing the role of offense. That only serves to harm their character if it doesn't affect you, and even more so if you turn the tables effectively. If it does affect you, and they seem indifferent instead of aggressive, then they are the one who is, in a sense, "winning". You're playing their game.

"OK as long as we agree that I am not in charge of changing the forum either. That is Luna's business, and she happens to take input from all members here."

No one here thinks you're actually in charge. It's closer to them assuming you want to be, or feel you ought to be, from your butting into others affairs and pushing for structure in a manner that makes you appear somewhat forceful.

"And my replies to them are "also saying how we feel on the matter""

It is, but it's also you trying to insist people change their behavior. You seem to not like how others are trying to change your behavior, why should they like it when you try to change theirs?

I know, it's easy to respond to this with "But they do it too!", but this isn't about them right now, and focusing on them won't amount to anything but additional aggression and feeling the need to "even the score", or act out because "it's okay when [name] does this, but not me?".

"So as long as both sides are seen as being equally free to say things and to respond then we are square. But not criticizing me more than them for our differences."

Criticism is a part of free speech. It happens.

"E3. Yes, I agree. But please also see my other msg, that once Ana or TK decide to post a judgment call or false accusation of someone, of course they will end up answering to objections. That is just natural to take responsibility for the consequences, especially if you say something false or unfair. (For example, it is not true that I am in any way in charge of the forum. So it is insulting to both me and to Luna to keep insisting on it. And then to BLAME that on me or Luna is additionally unfair if it's not even true to begin with.)"

Since when did this place have to be about truth, fairness, or reciprocity? Who here hasn't been accused of something?

"E4. Ironic Turncoat. Someone just posted a LMAO reply about my sarcastic humor in response to Socio. I think the most sarcastic post I made was about how TK "must be special" if the laws of human nature that apply to all humanity somehow don't apply to her."

It still strikes me as unnatural when you try to be sarcastic. It's like the "trying" is stronger than the "sarcasm". Just my view though.

"If TK uses short sarcasm, that's what I need to learn to talk to her."

Why do you need to be able to talk to her in any sort of proper fashion? Does her opinion matter strongly enough to you for you to bother adjusting your own behaviors?

"It's all trial and error. The more I resolve issues with people the easier it gets to communicate in words and ways they understand."

People (who bother to read what you say anyway) I think understand you fairly well. I'd argue it's that you're not fully understanding why they'd respond to you in the way they are that's throwing you off.

"Yes, I'm a political satirist. So yes I use lots of sarcasm in my spoofs. It's even funnier knowing this mean humor is coming from me, that is part of the irony. But it is there, I just need to use it where it is clear."

How much experience do you have with darker humor?

"I believe in equal free speech, too, but NOT stating false things about others without corrections. I don't see how it is imposing on others to correct when they make false or unfair statements about my intent."

Your defensive corrections aren't really impositions, they just show where you're vulnerable. The times your corrections are imposing is when you try to alter how others behave without their consent for mediation. The difference here is you aren't imposing when the topic actually has something to do with you.

Free speech means letting people say what they want, even if you find it hurtful or moronic. You can choose to stoop to their level, or you can be above it. Sometimes, feeling the need to defend yourself only shows others that you feel that need. If it was something you didn't believe at least on some level, why would you work so hard to oppose it instead of let it pass as ridiculous through example?

"Again, if they don't want to accept responsibility then don't say false things. I have equal right to defend my good intent and integrity."

You have the right, but how you use that right is just as important as the right itself. The right to free speech is also an invitation to the right to say anything in any way, but just because you're free to say it doesn't mean you won't sometimes put your foot in your mouth, and doesn't mean that they aren't free to respond as they please.

"I respect people's different opinions, but do not respect this habit of trying to "blame me" for other people's fears of things I am not doing!"

How seriously you're taking this only invites them to do it more. You've shown it affects you, which shows they can tweak you with that knowledge.

"I'd rather resolve that misperception than watch people suffer for it."

Suffer?

"I think they don't get that I am sincere when I care for others; so they still think it must be a control game or other incentive motivating me?"

Control isn't only done with bad intent you know. Sometimes it's the best of intentions, working toward a greater good, or even going as far as Utopia Justifies the Means that can lead to worse outcomes than those who are out to do damage from the beginning. It is still a "control game" I'd argue, just not one played by a master manipulator, but rather, by someone who is simply overly insistent. The less you poke at the hornet's nest, the less likely you are to be stung, even if the hornet started it by stinging you first.


My feelings on this place lately: The most damage seems to occur here when someone feels entitled to something. Beyond being entitled to say whatever the hell we want, what else are we really entitled to? So what if someone doesn't apologize? So what if some people don't like each other? So what if you happen to form your own rogue's gallery for behaving as you would?

I think they don't get that I am sincere when I care for others; so they still think it must be a control game or other incentive motivating me?

If you were sincere you wouldn't feel the need to publicly pat yourself on the back for helping others. 

Hello Clueless, 
(fuuuuck - like how your thread got hijacked by more of the same ole crap.)

Back to you - no, I don't think you're paranoid, was just trying to understand the situation. Because it's the workplace I'd def. exercise caution and make yourself non-threatening (at least in his mind) to this guy for sure. The big thing is don't rock his ego or yes, he could undermine you. As long as he sees you as friend not foe he prob. won't lash out cause you have power on his rep/career too. You're smart to think this way and stay one step ahead. 

Wow Turncoat, that's a pretty thorough and thoughtful reply.
Em, you and I have had our share of conflict so I'm not weighing in. I do think TC is sincerely reaching out with some words of wisdom if you're able to hear it.