Sociopath Community

Tryptamine said: 

Feathers said: 

3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical? 

Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response. 

Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action. 

Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?

As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?

Not really sure if this particular thing has to do with being neurotypical or not.

Yeah, I can’t speak for other autistics. It could be just me.

It’s a phenomenon I notice in society. 

People in general tend to be more protective of those similar to them or within the same group as a sort of tribal mechanism (in-group/out-group dynamics). A group where members look out for one-another tends to be more safe. I think how a person handles a situation where someone within the group is out of line has more to do with how comfortable they are with condemning others.

Yikes, tribalism, it even works the other ways in condemning ”other”. 

 

For some, it takes a person being very obviously and seriously immoral to condemn them. Others are fine with condemning someone who even seems suspicious. Many within the group may be afraid to be the first one to take an oppositional stance.

They should be willing to condemn people no matter what traits they may or may not have in common. Everyone stands and falls by their own merits !

If a parent is making excuses for another parent, there's not really a strong tribal dynamic at play there. That sounds like parent A from person experience knows parenting has its difficulties, so they more easily forgive parent B, under the premise that society should understand parenthood in a certain way. If it's abuse being discussed, parent A is probably just a dumbass. I feel like I rarely see parents covering for the abuse of other parents. Unless they grew up abused or are abusers themselves as well.

 Yeah… it’s almost as if they’re afraid admitting the other parent sucks means they must admit they are not ”perfect”. Maybe they think that’s implied… but literal abuse was being mentioned.

It feels like gaslighting (others and themselves). Because the idea that they might self reflect bothers them so much they must unreasonably defend all parents. 

There are hardships to being a student. Still, if a student was cheating or whatever you don’t see me saying ”well being a student is hard man”. Tho, I don’t personally care enough to snitch. I just don’t defend it. 

It is not my responsibility to snitch on all immoral acts. It must hit a threshold for me to get involved. 

Feathers said: 

Autism moment :

I was in a clothing store and kept telling the store lady ”three!”. She was confused, and I was frustrated.

My friend said “she doesn’t know you’re trying to tell her you have 3 items for a change room”.

I said ”oh what’s the point of this context thing neurotypicals have then… I am literally in a store trying to buy clothes”.

How much clearer is the context ? I thought context was like reading the situation magically.

 YOU'RE SO CUTE

Feathers said: 

Golden_Eagle said: 

Why didn't you just say "I have 3 items" ?

I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks… 

 but you coulda been saying 'ive been waiting here for 3 minutes', i want to buy clothes for my 3 year old' etc lol

Feathers said: 

3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical? 

I find that question to be a narrow minded perspective. Sure it happens though, but not in general.

Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response. 

My personal experience with this, is my parents weren't the same as my friend's parents growing up. 

The most difficult thing seems to be financial, or bad parenting. Life certainly doesn't get easier when there's another mouth to feed for most people, so parents can relate in terms of the sacrifices they've made, but I can assure you my parents found a lot of other parents foolish. 

I don't believe in people agreeing with others by default. 

Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action. 

That's untrue. I don't see anyone sticking up for Epstein, and it's still valid to point out it's not all men, when the argument these days accuses masculinity to be an issue. 

Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?

Being a religious person yourself, do you really believe that example to be the general case ?

From the time someone is accused of heinous crimes such as rape, or a priest touching a woman's warm moist tender sweet'n'creamy breast with errect nipples. They are on their own.

As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?

 You might be surprised that you're not the only one who doesn't like stupid people.

Feathers said: 

3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical? 

Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response. 

Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action. 

Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?

As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?

 people find it easier to put themselves in the shoes of someone with similar characteristics, i think we all do this subconsciously to an extent. i might be biased towards someone who reminds me of myself and insert other 'common traits' where there aren't any

natasha87 said: 

Feathers said: 

Golden_Eagle said: 

Why didn't you just say "I have 3 items" ?

I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks… 

 but you coulda been saying 'ive been waiting here for 3 minutes', i want to buy clothes for my 3 year old' etc lol

I see your point in needing more information.

Three needs to be a little more specified.

Now, what I don't get is how others think I understand what they implied...

One time, at work, a lady (not my boss) asked me to do a task. I said "no, I do not feel comfortable taking on that task". No one had trained me on this task. I work in a laboratory (could be real dangers). My friend said, it was implied that she would show me how to perform the task. I don't get where it was implied... Because if she offered to train me on the task I would gladly do it. 

Feathers said: 

natasha87 said: 

Feathers said: 

I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks… 

 but you coulda been saying 'ive been waiting here for 3 minutes', i want to buy clothes for my 3 year old' etc lol

I see your point in needing more information.

Three needs to be a little more specified.

Now, what I don't get is how others think I understand what they implied...

One time, at work, a lady (not my boss) asked me to do a task. I said "no, I do not feel comfortable taking on that task". No one had trained me on this task. I work in a laboratory (could be real dangers). My friend said, it was implied that she would show me how to perform the task. I don't get where it was implied... Because if she offered to train me on the task I would gladly do it. 

Did you explain to the lady why you didn't feel comfortable with the task?

natasha87 said: 

Feathers said: 

3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical? 

Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response. 

Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action. 

Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?

As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?

 people find it easier to put themselves in the shoes of someone with similar characteristics, i think we all do this subconsciously to an extent. i might be biased towards someone who reminds me of myself and insert other 'common traits' where there aren't any

So, having one common trait, can be the key difference between higher levels of empathy (even over a real victim at times). It reminds me a study where people were more likely to help someone they found shared the same birthday as them. 

Then the key takeway is, I should highlight people arbitrary similarities I might share with someone. Then, they may just care to better understand me by our "already common ground".

Perhaps, it's somewhat subconscious. I might do it too... there's just different levels of blatancy. I do know I find some people more pleasant than others to be around. 

Tryptamine said: 

Feathers said: 

natasha87 said: 

 but you coulda been saying 'ive been waiting here for 3 minutes', i want to buy clothes for my 3 year old' etc lol

I see your point in needing more information.

Three needs to be a little more specified.

Now, what I don't get is how others think I understand what they implied...

One time, at work, a lady (not my boss) asked me to do a task. I said "no, I do not feel comfortable taking on that task". No one had trained me on this task. I work in a laboratory (could be real dangers). My friend said, it was implied that she would show me how to perform the task. I don't get where it was implied... Because if she offered to train me on the task I would gladly do it. 

Did you explain to the lady why you didn't feel comfortable with the task?

 No, I just answered then returned to other work around the lab. She creepily watched me for a good 20 mins.

Maybe she felt scorned.

There was a story I read some while ago now on Reddit about this autistic guy who was working an internship at a financial company. From what I gathered in the story, he was HFA and especially blunt. Someone who was good with working with figures on the job, but lacking in social tact. He didn't mean to be rude or odd, he was sometimes unaware or unconcerned, and a bit too upfront. At the end of his internship, everyone gathered around to basically make a little event and see him off in warm regards. The guy writing the post, who was a manager there, thanked him for his work and asked him if he was going to miss the place. The man just said "no" and left. :)