Delora once asked "someone please explain that female autism is different than male autism". I decided to come out as autistic so I can explain, what is, and what isn't autism (in females). Anything not mentioned, is probably not autism (prob just her).
Female Autistics (Social) :
One can follow along in the DSM-5 for autism.
PERSISTENT DEFICITS IN SOCIAL COMMUNICATION AND SOCIAL INTERACTION ACROSS CONTEXTS, NOT
ACCOUNTED FOR BY GENERAL DEVELOPMENTAL DELAYS, AND MANIFEST BY 3 OF 3 SYMPTOMS.
1. Deficits in social‐emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back
and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of
initiation of social interaction.
2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated‐
verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body‐language, or deficits in
understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.
3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with
caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in
sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people. Lack of “theory of mind”; inability to take another person’s perspective.
RESTRICTED, REPETITIVE PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR, INTERESTS, OR ACTIVITIES AS MANIFESTED BY AT LEAST
2 OF 4 SYMPTOMS:
1. Stereotyped or repetitive speech, motor movements, or use of objects; (such as simple motor stereotypies,
echolalia, repetitive use of objects, or idiosyncratic phrases).
2. Excessive adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, or excessive resistance
to change; (such as motoric rituals, insistence on same route or food, repetitive questioning or extreme distress
at small changes).
3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus; (such as strong attachment to or
preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
4. Hyper‐or hypo‐reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as
apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or
touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects).
For me, the most obvious symptoms are....
Lack of cognitive empathy (not emotional).
I will fail to put myself in your shoes unless you actively compare it to an event in my life.
If no such event exists, I may think you irrational "I would never do that!". Trying to put "myself" in your shoes will make me judge you MORE harshly. I will have to disregard my own experiences and "imagine/fantasize".
"To understand another person’s point of view, children with autism need to actively suppress their own, a new study suggests" - Source.
Black and white thinking (lack of nuance).
This applies to MORALS too. I will think "it is good to give unsolicited advice" or "it is bad to give unsolicited advice". It disturbs me that people at work appreciate unsolicited advice on performing their job better, but people outside of work do not appreciate unsolicited advice on performing tasks better. It makes me upset that people are "INCONSISTENT" on their preferences. To me, you like advice or you don't.
Why does the physical location on earth, factor into the equation? Explain it to me like I am a robot, if you can.
Confused by social behaviours.
Why... just why do people think it's suspicious to tell the truth? I told a coworker "Don't worry, I won't tell the boss you play music with swear words, its our secret". Then they get suspicious... When I told them exactly the TRUTH. Someone must explain why the truth is "suspicious". I was taken back... by their surprising suspicion. This has even been a problem on the website. I share a truth statement, it is met with doubt, not my problem.
Implicit information.
I do not pick up on, or receive implicit information easily. When someone said "there's a lot of dishes" I thought it was just a truth statement, like "the weather is nice today". I had not realised this is the way someone will try to "sugar coat" a request for me to do a task (which I am fine doing). People would get mad that I did not pick up on the "subtext" or the "message between the lines".
Culture Shock.
Best way to describe autism is a culture shock. You know the words and language, you don't know culture, you don't know social behaviour. Everyone seems like an alien acting very odd... very odd.
Fun Fact: Autism in females is often misdiagnosed as BPD.
