Questions for Allistics (Non-Autistics).
I will add questions as they come to me ~
1. Why to people not like ”too many” questions about their OWN interests ?
I felt, it’s good to ask people questions about their interests to show care in their views and interests. I thought it was a way to bond !Many times people will say, ”no more questions, now I lost interest in my own interest”.
I’m like ??? How does one lose interest in their own interest by talking about it. I could talk about my interests for days ! I would never get tired.
Some people I asked say maybe they think it’s like an interrogation, quiz, or test. They are afraid to give wrong information about their interest.
If someone answers multiple questions and you don't seem to care or have any real feedback, then you'll come across as socially awkward. You'll seem to be asking questions about the same thing over and over. Meanwhile something really is wrong because you're only doing for some other reason, by your example, you do it to show care.
2. Why is ok for ‘you’ (representation of non autistics) to vent about a hard experience, but not me ?
See many times a hard situation will happen at work. My friends will vent for a good while. Then, I want to vent too after and they say ”this is too stressful, I’m done talking about it”. But I just listened to them, so I thought it was my turn!?
Why is it suddenly “too stressful” when it’s my turn to vent? Like I literally just listened to them vent on and on and I had the same experience (we experienced it together). This is a double standard that I notice A LOT. Like it’s a trend…
When someone is venting, it's their turn. They aren't really interested in other people's rants, unless another person's rant is perceived as equal or better than their rant. If not they aren't interested in carrying another's perspective.
In the heat of the moment, when others vent, it's not time to take turns, that person isn't interested in cooling you off while they themselves are having difficulty cooling off themselves.
There's more to this in other situations, but I don't know where to begin.
You're lacking in empathy and really are socially awkward aren't you ?
.
.
.
BT, come and tell me about this person.
I think it’s equal as we experienced the same bad event at work. Say example, the boss came down hard on everyone. Well I was a victim of the same event and should be able to vent too.
Questions for Allistics (Non-Autistics).
I will add questions as they come to me ~
1. Why to people not like ”too many” questions about their OWN interests ?
I felt, it’s good to ask people questions about their interests to show care in their views and interests. I thought it was a way to bond !Many times people will say, ”no more questions, now I lost interest in my own interest”.
I’m like ??? How does one lose interest in their own interest by talking about it. I could talk about my interests for days ! I would never get tired.
Some people I asked say maybe they think it’s like an interrogation, quiz, or test. They are afraid to give wrong information about their interest.
If someone answers multiple questions and you don't seem to care or have any real feedback, then you'll come across as socially awkward. You'll seem to be asking questions about the same thing over and over. Meanwhile something really is wrong because you're only doing for some other reason, by your example, you do it to show care.
2. Why is ok for ‘you’ (representation of non autistics) to vent about a hard experience, but not me ?
See many times a hard situation will happen at work. My friends will vent for a good while. Then, I want to vent too after and they say ”this is too stressful, I’m done talking about it”. But I just listened to them, so I thought it was my turn!?
Why is it suddenly “too stressful” when it’s my turn to vent? Like I literally just listened to them vent on and on and I had the same experience (we experienced it together). This is a double standard that I notice A LOT. Like it’s a trend…
When someone is venting, it's their turn. They aren't really interested in other people's rants, unless another person's rant is perceived as equal or better than their rant. If not they aren't interested in carrying another's perspective.
In the heat of the moment, when others vent, it's not time to take turns, that person isn't interested in cooling you off while they themselves are having difficulty cooling off themselves.
There's more to this in other situations, but I don't know where to begin.
You're lacking in empathy and really are socially awkward aren't you ?
.
.
.
BT, come and tell me about this person.
I think it’s equal as we experienced the same bad event at work. Say example, the boss came down hard on everyone. Well I was a victim of the same event and should be able to vent too.
Maybe that person knows you, ( obviously cause its your friend ) and probably expects you to no sympathize in the same manner and she/he does. ( Probably a she. )
Autism moment :
I was in a clothing store and kept telling the store lady ”three!”. She was confused, and I was frustrated.
My friend said “she doesn’t know you’re trying to tell her you have 3 items for a change room”.
I said ”oh what’s the point of this context thing neurotypicals have then… I am literally in a store trying to buy clothes”.
How much clearer is the context ? I thought context was like reading the situation magically.
Why didn't you just say "I have 3 items" ?
I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks…
Why didn't you just say "I have 3 items" ?
I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks…
If you just say 3.
Then you have to hold up the clothes and point at them and nod at the worker.
If she nods back, certainly you'd recognize she understood you. Yeah ?
Why didn't you just say "I have 3 items" ?
I just thought the context would fill in all the blanks…
If you just say 3.
Then you have to hold up the clothes and point at them and nod at the worker.
If she nods back, certainly you'd recognize she understood you. Yeah ?
Okay, next time I can add a little more info. Find the right balance of context to speak allistic.
3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical?
Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response.
Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action.
Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?
As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?
3. Why does having ONE share characteristic make a neurotypical blindly defend another neurotypical?
Example, parents blindly defending other parents. They all say "it's hard being a parent" like they were brainwashed or something. I almost feel like someone brainwashed them to all have the same response.
Example, men blindly defending other men. They say "it's not all men" rather than acknowledging that this individual, or even some men do that action.
Example, religious people blindly defending predators in the church. I mean they don't even really have an excuse, they're just like "he's so holy and of my religious sect". Well obviously, not so holy afterall ?
As if, sharing one common trait means they are "just like them" and therefore, they're good people? I'm like o.0 so you just gonna defend an abuser cause they have one similar trait to you, huh?
Not really sure if this particular thing has to do with being neurotypical or not. People in general tend to be more protective of those similar to them or within the same group as a sort of tribal mechanism (in-group/out-group dynamics). A group where members look out for one-another tends to be more safe. I think how a person handles a situation where someone within the group is out of line has more to do with how comfortable they are with condemning others. For some, it takes a person being very obviously and seriously immoral to condemn them. Others are fine with condemning someone who even seems suspicious. Many within the group may be afraid to be the first one to take an oppositional stance.
If a parent is making excuses for another parent, there's not really a strong tribal dynamic at play there. That sounds like parent A from person experience knows parenting has its difficulties, so they more easily forgive parent B, under the premise that society should understand parenthood in a certain way. If it's abuse being discussed, parent A is probably just a dumbass. I feel like I rarely see parents covering for the abuse of other parents. Unless they grew up abused or are abusers themselves as well.
