Sociopath Community

compassionatequeen said: 

any thoughts or feelings that come up that I am unworthy of love for any reason I can just choose to love myself no matter what  and honestly this tactic could probably calm down my borderline pd trait stuff because a lot of that is rooted in fear of abandonment and rejection and not being loved enough

It to me sounds like overcompensating, bringing about a different problem as a direct reflection of the first one. They are both just as extreme as the other and root from the same place. 

The healthier idea would be to recognize that, in spite of how you are not unworthy of love and while it is good to have self respect... that the problem is closer to your extreme fixation on the concept itself. Your insistence over "good things" becomes a bad thing through how much you overdo it, and in that action you end up pushing people away as their response to your acting out reinforces your insecurity. 

I treat it like managing emotional blood sugar levels in that having it go too high can make it bottom out and crash, while manageable amounts by contrast can be healthy. 

My advice: Chill out about needing to feel loved and it will come on it's own slowly, and that the midground of love and hate is contentment. 

“Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”

― Kaleel Jamison

compassionatequeen said: 

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Be more clear between distinctions of conscious, subconscious and unconscious.  They have very different definitions and application.  Oftentimes, subconscious and unconscious are grouped together, but they can mean very different things.

Subconscious can often be accessed, indirectly or some other way, with conscious activity -- such as habit-forming, through evidences of behavior, etc.  Unconscious usually means no real access or awareness, or at least by much different means.

That's my hot-take.

I agree with this,  but I still think that unconscious is a part of the subconscious,  because subconscious means not conscious soo yeah

What parts in particular? 

like physical bodily reactions = unconscious  like the impulsive ones that fire up  and influencing our subconscious can sometimes change stuff going on in the unconscious in my opinion

That doesn't mean that the unconscious is part of the subconscious, this just means the two have a correlative relationship. 

This is more like "One hand washes the other", that doesn't make the hand washer suddenly only have one hand. 

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

any thoughts or feelings that come up that I am unworthy of love for any reason I can just choose to love myself no matter what  and honestly this tactic could probably calm down my borderline pd trait stuff because a lot of that is rooted in fear of abandonment and rejection and not being loved enough

It to me sounds like overcompensating, bringing about a different problem as a direct reflection of the first one. They are both just as extreme as the other and root from the same place. 

The healthier idea would be to recognize that, in spite of how you are not unworthy of love and while it is good to have self respect... that the problem is closer to your extreme fixation on the concept itself. Your insistence over "good things" becomes a bad thing through how much you overdo it, and in that action you end up pushing people away as their response to your acting out reinforces your insecurity. 

I treat it like managing emotional blood sugar levels in that having it go too high can make it bottom out and crash, while manageable amounts by contrast can be healthy. 

My advice: Chill out about needing to feel loved and it will come on it's own slowly, and that the midground of love and hate is contentment. 

mmm,  No I am being taught that in the eyes of God and All That is and source or whatever that I am perfect and beautiful and good and whole,  and that I am supposed to affirm this to myself and to all of the triggered and hurting parts inside of me,  while still accepting that I have a dualistic nature while I am incarnated as a human being and that I carry both the lighter higher vibration energies and the heavier lower vibration energies without specifically judging those energies as "good" and "bad"

and this belief system has been working the best for my personal healing journey so I am going to continue believing it,  for the sake of my own personal healing and wellness  I appreciate your beliefs,  but these are mine and these are what I am being taught in Internal Family Systems therapy,  shadow work,  and mirror work  all three of these have taught me very specifically to believe that I am already intrisincally perfect and beautiful and good and whole just the way that I am

and by believing this,  it allows you to align with the best version of yourself that is most healthy and capable of functioning  It is actually a form of manifesting by using affirmations like this

You really don't see it as overcompensation? 

Turncoat said: 

You really don't see it as overcompensation? 

No not at all,  the intention is to manifest being the best version of myself  what do I have to overcompensate for if I believe that I am already perfect and beautiful and good and whole just the way that I am ?  and why should I let anyone else tell me otherwise ?

I mean people are always going to try to label you whatever they want to label you,  but you do not have to take on their labels as your own truth and that is one of the most healing aspects of these therapies that I am participating in

the theory is that the "God frequency"  is one of perfection and wholeness and beautifulness and goodness and most importantly unconditionally loving,  and because we are a part of God and from God and are going to eventually return back to God  (All that is,  source whatever name that you have for God)  that we can align with this lighter higher vibration God frequency if we affirm to ourselves the aspects of God that we all intrisically have  (essentially,  being unconditionally loved by God)

I do not really care if it seems "woowoo",  I am totally into it and totally want to believe that I will eventually be returning to some sort of consciousness state that does not have those heavier lower vibration energies of like pain and fear and hatred and so on

but while I am incarnated as a human being I accept that I also carry heavier lower vibration energies within me,  and the goal is mostly for those energies to not be so overwhelming and sometimes overpowering of my consciousness,  not for them to not exist at all

compassionatequeen said: 

Turncoat said: 

You really don't see it as overcompensation? 

No not at all,  the intention is to manifest being the best version of myself  what do I have to overcompensate for if I believe that I am already perfect and beautiful and good and whole just the way that I am ?  and why should I let anyone else tell me otherwise ?

You have already stated multiple times that you are not perfect, and you are doing this as how to flee from the extreme opposite of those feelings as compensation.

The compensation fact isn't up for debate, you have explained it as much yourself with more words, but the point of contention is over the "Over-". 

A big part of shadow work is exposure to the parts of yourself you don't like so that you can grow to understand and even accept it's presence. Could perhaps this desperation to feel "Perfect and beautiful and good" be the problem more than whether you actually are or not? 

I mean people are always going to try to label you whatever they want to label you,  but you do not have to take on their labels as your own truth and that is one of the most healing aspects of these therapies that I am participating in

Do you not see how this kind of talk serves to rebuke others? 

compassionatequeen said: 

the theory is that the "God frequency"  is one of perfection and wholeness and beautifulness and goodness and most importantly unconditionally loving,  and because we are a part of God and from God and are going to eventually return back to God  (All that is,  source whatever name that you have for God)  that we can align with this lighter higher vibration God frequency if we affirm to ourselves the aspects of God that we all intrisically have  (essentially,  being unconditionally loved by God)

 

I do not really care if it seems "woowoo",  I am totally into it and totally want to believe that I will eventually be returning to some sort of consciousness state that does not have those heavier lower vibration energies of like pain and fear and hatred and so on

 

but while I am incarnated as a human being I accept that I also carry heavier lower vibration energies within me,  and the goal is mostly for those energies to not be so overwhelming and sometimes overpowering of my consciousness,  not for them to not exist at all

 

 

 Reminds me of a girl with a similar name to you I believe, telling me that she believes she can manifest things, and that she could be god, and that she broke everything down in her head as everything is just vibrations. I'm open minded so maybe it's true. I have no way of really telling. Similar stuff in regards to being one big consciousness. I have no clue how to obtain these "revelations" in my mind.

compassionatequeen said: 

the theory is that the "God frequency"  is one of perfection and wholeness and beautifulness and goodness and most importantly unconditionally loving,  and because we are a part of God and from God and are going to eventually return back to God  (All that is,  source whatever name that you have for God)  that we can align with this lighter higher vibration God frequency if we affirm to ourselves the aspects of God that we all intrisically have  (essentially,  being unconditionally loved by God)

If you're going with the God angle, isn't He responsible for the struggles you go through now? 

I do not really care if it seems "woowoo",  I am totally into it

I tend to see these kinds of things like metaphor-based psychiatry with room to translate between the two, but not all of them have healthy endgames even if they seem fairly optimistic, nor is every treatment for everyone (like how many claim IFS is bad for people like you and me). 

and totally want to believe that I will eventually be returning to some sort of consciousness state that does not have those heavier lower vibration energies of like pain and fear and hatred and so on

Isn't focusing on those lower vibrations you're avoiding supposed to be the point of Shadow Work, in order to understand it so that it doesn't have as much of a hold over your blindspots?