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shadow work


Posts: 1920

what I presently believe to be my most "bad and evil and toxic" traits-  I have social anxiety and because I am unemployed since I get panic attacks working normal people jobs,  in the past and probably will continue into the future I have done some trolling and I say silly and ridiculous things that sometimes I do not mean soo it is a form of lying (I guess although my intention is more to be silly than trying to con people or anything like that,  codependency,  phases of preferring social isolation,  possibly infertile,  gluttony and obesity  (although both are decreasing now that I am back on an important medication for me),  medication dependent,  some shortterm and longterm memory impairment,  have a difficult time knowing what is true or false or if anything is even true or false and I have a difficult time of making sense of some things  (it is kind of difficult for me to function as a human being), on disability income because of my mental limitations including adhd,  prone to fantasizing,  sometimes dissociate,  enjoy farting humor,  have scoliosis,  have allergies and sinus and headache problems sometimes,  sometimes feel angry at people for being purposefully psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people and getting away with it,  sometimes feel angry that a lot of people who have wealth are exceptionally psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people  (and fantasizing that something would be done to more evenly disperse wealth among the population)

 

 

last edit on 10/2/2022 10:58:21 PM
Posts: 33420
0 votes RE: shadow work

1. I have social anxiety and because I am unemployed since I get panic attacks working normal people jobs,  in the past and probably will continue into the future

How long do you usually last before flipping out? 

I also have this problem, but  I tried to push through it until it burnt me out. 

2. I have done some trolling and I say silly and ridiculous things that sometimes I do not mean soo it is a form of lying

I feel like you are typically honest yet contradictory, as when you try to lie it looks different. 

3. medication dependent, 

What about it in particular? 

4. some shortterm and longterm memory impairment,

While I could definitely confirm this for you, is this really 'bad/evil/toxic' or moreso unfortunate? 

What do you figure is the cause of the memory issues? 

5. have a difficult time knowing what is true or false or if anything is even true or false and I have a difficult time of making sense of some things

From my experiences with you anyway, you try so hard to feel right that you don't look into the answers themselves. 

6. on disability income because of my mental limitations including adhd

Again, is this really 'bad/evil/toxic' or moreso unfortunate?

This is like saying someone is B/E/T over having a broken leg. 

7. prone to fantasizing,  sometimes dissociate,

...this area is where you tend to become harder to reach, unless they are literally enabling it. 

8. enjoy farting humor,

Unforgivable. 

9. have scoliosis,  have allergies and sinus and headache problems sometimes,

Is this B/E/T rather than unfortunate? 

10. sometimes feel angry at people for being purposefully psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people and getting away with it

I feel like your sensitivity to it has small offenses taken in the same light as big ones. 

11. sometimes feel angry that a lot of people who have wealth are exceptionally psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people  (and fantasizing about being like Robin hood and more evenly dispersing wealth among the population)

How do you figure they'd get rich if they were otherwise good people? 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
last edit on 10/2/2022 11:07:51 PM
Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

k so step one is done,  step 2 is after uncovering and facing your shadow,  you are supposed to reflect on it and try to reframe your thoughts and actions to be more positive

 

 

Posts: 33420
0 votes RE: shadow work

k so step one is done,  step 2 is after uncovering and facing your shadow,  you are supposed to reflect on it and try to reframe your thoughts and actions to be more positive

Depends which practitioner you ask, some go hardcore into their dark side in order to collar it. 

For some, understanding of the negative is how they learn how to be positive, as through understanding they unshroud it. 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
last edit on 10/2/2022 11:12:49 PM
Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

1. I have social anxiety and because I am unemployed since I get panic attacks working normal people jobs,  in the past and probably will continue into the future

How long do you usually last before flipping out? 

I also have this problem, but  I tried to push through it until it burnt me out. 

2. I have done some trolling and I say silly and ridiculous things that sometimes I do not mean soo it is a form of lying

I feel like you are typically honest yet contradictory, as when you try to lie it looks different. 

3. medication dependent, 

What about it in particular? 

4. some shortterm and longterm memory impairment,

While I could definitely confirm this for you, is this really 'bad/evil/toxic' or moreso unfortunate? 

What do you figure is the cause of the memory issues? 

5. have a difficult time knowing what is true or false or if anything is even true or false and I have a difficult time of making sense of some things

From my experiences with you anyway, you try so hard to feel right that you don't look into the answers themselves. 

6. on disability income because of my mental limitations including adhd

Again, is this really 'bad/evil/toxic' or moreso unfortunate?

This is like saying someone is B/E/T over having a broken leg. 

7. prone to fantasizing,  sometimes dissociate,

...this area is where you tend to become harder to reach, unless they are literally enabling it. 

8. enjoy farting humor,

Unforgivable. 

9. have scoliosis,  have allergies and sinus and headache problems sometimes,

Is this B/E/T rather than unfortunate? 

10. sometimes feel angry at people for being purposefully psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people and getting away with it

I feel like your sensitivity to it has small offenses taken in the same light as big ones. 

11. sometimes feel angry that a lot of people who have wealth are exceptionally psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people  (and fantasizing about being like Robin hood and more evenly dispersing wealth among the population)

How do you figure they'd get rich if they were otherwise good people? 

 

the Robin hood thing would be more like trying to influence people to be more generous and caring and compassionate because stealing is not something that I ever do,  so it would be in like a spiritual influence sort of way if possible  :p  that's why I deleted it out of my original post because physical stealing is not something that I have ever been inclined to do,  and I would want people to be more generous and compassionate without necessarily having a gun to their head if possible  Idk how this would come about,  but it would not be through physical stealing or physical violence in my fantasies

 

 

last edit on 10/2/2022 11:19:54 PM
Posts: 33420
0 votes RE: shadow work

11. sometimes feel angry that a lot of people who have wealth are exceptionally psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people  (and fantasizing about being like Robin hood and more evenly dispersing wealth among the population)

How do you figure they'd get rich if they were otherwise good people? 

the Robin hood thing would be more like trying to influence people to be more generous and caring and compassionate because stealing is not something that I ever do,  so it would be in like a spiritual influence sort of way if possible  :p

The question you will always hit is "What's In It For Me?". 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

11. sometimes feel angry that a lot of people who have wealth are exceptionally psychologically and emotionally abusive to other people  (and fantasizing about being like Robin hood and more evenly dispersing wealth among the population)

How do you figure they'd get rich if they were otherwise good people? 

the Robin hood thing would be more like trying to influence people to be more generous and caring and compassionate because stealing is not something that I ever do,  so it would be in like a spiritual influence sort of way if possible  :p

The question you will always hit is "What's In It For Me?". 

 I added this-  "that's why I deleted it out of my original post because physical stealing is not something that I have ever been inclined to do, and I would want people to be more generous and compassionate without necessarily having a gun to their head if possible Idk how this would come about, but it would not be through physical stealing or physical violence in my fantasies"

 

and what is in it for me ?  I suppose a satisfying of an inner sense of justice and fairness and equality that I have had for as long as I can remember

 

 

Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

soo in reflection it does seem that a lot of my "bad and evil and toxic" traits are actually just me being unfortunate,  but people have tried to bully and victimize and psychologically and emotionally abuse me for unfortunate stuff about my personality and my body that I have limited control over and am just doing the best that I can every day to try to cope with and manage this stuff

 

now the question is how do I turn any of my "bad and toxic and evil" traits into anything positive and beneficial to myself and to other people

 

and another question that I have is do I have any genuinely positive traits ?  lol  :p  like I struggle with this one and forget anything good about myself a lot and I cannot even remember my positive traits

 

 

last edit on 10/2/2022 11:40:35 PM
Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

I cannot think of or remember any of my positive traits oh my gosh looooooooooool  :p

 

 

Posts: 1920
0 votes RE: shadow work

step 3-  Acknowledge, understand, and forgive your insecurities.


Now that you’ve discovered the aspects of your personality that have negatively impacted your life, it’s time to give yourself space to move on. Life is all about change; you’re expected to change with it, but don’t be afraid to question those changes. As you evolve, acknowledge the lesser parts of yourself you want to change, learn to understand why your thinking may have changed, and then forgive yourself.


This isn’t something that can happen overnight, and that’s okay. Go at your own pace, uncovering a new part of the Shadow when you’re ready. Healing takes time, so be gentle with yourself.

 

 

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