k I will admit that Turncoat was right about one thing which is that labeling myself as "good" or "perfect" is not healthy for me, but if I had understood that the reason why is because it would continue to borderline pd traited splitting I would have been more originally accepting of Turncoat's discouragement of it I had to actually experience that labelling myself as "good" almost immediately projected all "badness" onto anyone who might make a critical comment implying that anything that I say or do is not "good" :/ definitely not the goal of trying to become unconditionally loving (while maintaining healthy boundaries and not encouraging or enabling if possible abuse of my self esteem, physical safety, or sexual safety) of myself and other people
and no one is perfect because everyone has both a "good side" and a "bad side" and everyone sometimes hurts even the people closest to them
