Algolagnia is debatably a thing (some just see it as people nitpicking the details of masochism's origin). Mine's more like a crossed wire than some sort of perverse ideation, as for me, pain triggers a pleasure response. I don't get some strange sort of notion of "deserving it", it's more like having pain make my entire body an erogenous zone, and that, for the most part, more pain means more pleasure.
Some people just want or even require a little more than standard vanilla, but the reasons vary a lot. I personally enjoy it for testing limits and otherwise making sex not suck, but it can't be denied that for some people it stems from past trauma or other issues that may be unhealthily enabled through it. That however doesn't mean it is always a symptom of it. In some cases, overcoming past issues can make their kinks stronger from no longer having a negative association tied to it.
I see degrading as lowering someone's feeling of self worth.
"In short, I think anyone who needs to beat, or be beaten, or any of this jazz, has mental issues."
Dominant vs submissiveness is present in everyone at different escalations, while pain and pleasure have a strange relationship that can be experimented with by pretty much anyone. My predispositions however would definitely apply as "mental issues".
Thanks for the correction, but I think my message is getting lost. In short, I think anyone who needs to beat, or be beaten, or any of this jazz, has mental issues. No matter how well the semantics and justification games are played, at the end of the day people involved in any aspect of this are not right in the head. Why not just find out the reason one is driven to such "extremes".
It was bias. I happen to know you are a masochist, and I wanted this to be more of an objective discussion for me to understand logically, and not a personal one.
Just to inform, I use dramatic words to describe something you may associate with a feeling. Your version of degrade isn't the same version as my degrade. To me, degradation is to be in any position below someone, of lower power.
Algolagnia? Is that a thing? And is this where you figure this masochism of yours came from? It has nothing to do with a personality deficiency?
"EF, if I am understanding this correctly, are you trying to insinuate that the "original" character of these folk who engage in this sort of thing are "originally" supposed to be damaged fucked up individuals who need degradation to feel respected and loved?"
Closer to saying that the strange things someone wants that aren't socially acceptable will usually lead to them not being able to express it openly. Kinks can go into those sorts of areas.
If a hardcore sadist went around beating people's asses any time it felt like it for example, I don't think it'd do too well unless in an occupation that centers around that. Leaving it for the bedroom with someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of that can be cathartic for both parties, and be a more honest expression of themselves as opposed to playing a "role".
"And I can't help but feel your need to justify anyone who touches this subject is because you are a masochist yourself."
Is... that a problem, or are you just pointing out bias? 
"Why do you think you need to be degraded in order to enjoy it?"
I don't see being harmed as degrading unless the advantage isn't consensual.
"What age did you discover it, and what was going on in your life to see this as "feeling"?"
It's a genetic thing in my case instead of something acquired (Algolagnia). When I was younger I was just highly pain tolerant (stapled my thumb and didn't really react much to it, skinned my knees all the time without seeing a problem with it, general recklessness like that), but as I got older it gradually changed. I didn't really notice the full extent of the pain = pleasure thing until early college, as after a point I usually only felt pain from things that had me pumping adrenaline, so I assumed I was just enjoying the adrenaline as opposed to the pain itself. The day I was made to really understand it was really strange and disorienting.
Naw, "hun", I don't think you get it. No one is wired to want violent sex. I want to know why you need it. Have you ever thought about it? Or is there a legitimate reason you don't wish to share in fear of sounding like a sexual abuse victim, or a victim, period. There is a difference between kink and just plain fucked up.
When you say pushing it to the extreme, I must say I think you are full of shit. The extreme are examples I gave in which you stated "you just don't get it". Extreme is when real pain and the real threat of death comes in, without the option of control. Extreme is having sex with a person you just met from craigslist in a shady hostel in lil tokyo above a noodle shop. What you, and other rejects like you, see as scary and edgy is just a way to exclude yourself from the rest of the world so that you feel special. You're not.
"The dom never actually gets to dominate because in the end it's the sub who decides how far things go, so in reality it's the submissives who hold the the power."
It's even more so the case when the submissive falls under the "brat" label. It can at points be the sub challenging the dom, and the dom trying to assert dominance as a result of being egged on.
Then there's the more dissociative submissive types, self-punishing submissive types, and others like that who are pretty much just begging to be playthings of another's will. While that sort of sub could arguably have the power, they don't take it for other reasons.
Then there's the polyamorous ones of either side that make things become all sorts of complicated.
And then there's those who don't fit any of the above. The reasons and motivations vary a lot. It really comes down to factors like confidence and willingness to lead or be led.
"If you really get off on inflicting pain and humiliation you'd just ignore the safety word and keep bullwhipping your partner until they piss all over themselves."
That depends on the risk. If they lose that individual who likes that sort of thing because they either go overboard or keep going overboard, they may lose their cathartic outlet of sorts (this risk is especially the case for hetero male submissive female dominant relationships, otherwise known as Femdom). It's not like they can just go around beating anyone they find. If they are a member of a BDSM subculture, word tends to travel fast about people who don't play by their established sets of rules related to consent (there is seriously so much drama within the subculture).
If the dom/sadist is a total stud, a social manipulator, just that confident, or anything of that nature however, it can be the person who makes threats about leaving. A submissive type still desires certain things, things they can't really give themselves, and those needs can define aspects of the relationship, similar to how someone's pet may have trouble taking care of themselves, but more perverse. It's not like I can tie myself up and beat myself as well as someone else can. In the end, kink in general is more about both parties fulfilling strange needs that the person they're with happens to fit the bill for.
"And if the safety measures were ignored and you subs were really pushed to your limits, I doubt you'd enjoy it at all."
It's a fairly conflicting sensation.
"I don't think you even have to be particularly fucked up to do get into this shit because it's all make-believe."
Either make believe or a manifestation of an abnormal mind. I tend to find more of the latter than the former, but the former does exist.
Naw, "hun", I don't think you get it. No one is wired to want violent sex.
A lot of people like rough sex. How do you know nobody is wired that way, Dr. Piles Kinsey? Have you graduated from “medical school†yet? xD
I want to know why you need it. Have you ever thought about it? Or is there a legitimate reason you don't wish to share in fear of sounding like a sexual abuse victim, or a victim, period.
I was never sexually abused. My father was a violent narc or a psychopath- he thrashed me sporadically- usually because I was being a smartass and running off at the mouth. When I got older, I hit back. It got ugly. I was lucky he had the self-control to not kill me. That’s the extent of my “abusive†past.
I’ve thought about it plenty, and I’ve discussed the possible connections here before. If you’re actually interested, look it up. But as far as I'm concerned, the root of my preferences doesn't matter. I like what I like, and that’s all that's important.
There is a difference between kink and just plain fucked up.
What is that difference in your mind, Piles? You of all people ought to know, since you claimed to be “all up in that world†on the old forum- and bragged about actually raping men with strap-ons. You claimed to have “sexually manipulated†your stepfather, too. Seeing as though you were a child at the time, I can understand why you might want to spin it that way, to avoid sounding like a sexual abuse victim. But nobody deserves to be abused. I hope you got over it, and made him eat a truckload of shit, now that you are older, and are actually capable of defending yourself.
When you say pushing it to the extreme, I must say I think you are full of shit.
That’s subjective. Some people call knife play extreme. It doesn’t feel that way to me, because I trust my partner, and I know we’re only messing around. Sometimes the intensity of the moment can cloud your judgment. I’ve experienced this on both ends of the blade. You still have to be careful, even when you’re just having fun. A knife is a knife.
The extreme are examples I gave in which you stated "you just don't get it". Extreme is when real pain and the real threat of death comes in, without the option of control. Extreme is having sex with a person you just met from craigslist in a shady hostel in lil tokyo above a noodle shop.
No thanks. I’ll leave that to extremists like you. :)
What you, and other rejects like you, see as scary and edgy is just a way to exclude yourself from the rest of the world so that you feel special. You're not.
No..... What I do in the bedroom is private. I'm not into any bdsm "scene". On the surface, nobody would ever guess that I'm into violent sex.
Claiming to rape men up the ass with strap-ons, making false assertions about being in medical school and/or the military, misrepresenting your art work, and posting nude selfies to the detriment of an entire forum are what attention-seeking rejects who want to feel “special†do, Piles. Congrats. You elevate projection to an art form. I’d say you are as talented in this domain as you are at drawing.
And yes- that is a compliment, “hunâ€.
by ThropeI don't see the point of BDSM. The dom never actually gets to dominate because in the end it's the sub who decides how far things go, so in reality it's the submissives who hold the the power.
Yes, submissives hold the power. And the point is that for some of us, it feels good.
I don't think you even have to be particularly fucked up to do get into this shit because it's all make-believe. It's just a simulation of actual sexualy sadistic behaviour.
Yes.
I think it's mostly bored married couples who practice it to spice up their mediocre sex lives and feel like they're living on the edge without taking any real risks.
Well....Edge-play amongst consenting adults might be considered a "real" risk, but only in the sense that either partner can fuck up if they're not careful. It's just another form of thrill-seeking.
S/m can add spice to a relationship, and prevent sex from lapsing into mediocrity. But the trick is to mix it up. Anything gets boring when it is repeated ad infinitum.
If I want to experience real risk, I'll go kite-surfing, downhill skiing, or sky-diving. The risks inherent to these activities are limited, but sufficiently elevated to provoke an intense adrenaline rush.
Them and attention seeking weirdos who just want to be part of the sub-culture to shock people and because they don't fit in anywhere else.
Agreed. But there really isn't anything "shocking" about it. Parading one's preferences can be a way of attracting a like-minded partner. Conversely, it may be just another way for emos and goths to feel "dangerous". Come at this kind of poser with a real whip, and he'll likely cower in the corner and scream for mommy. :)
by AmanitaSex without violence is boring. Run of the mill vanilla sex does nothing for freaks like me... Only unimaginative dullards like you. :)
Sex all willy-nilly can be run of the mill vanilla, but a LOT of fun. ;)
Also, sex pillows.
I don't see the point of BDSM. The dom never actually gets to dominate because in the end it's the sub who decides how far things go, so in reality it's the submissives who hold the the power. If you really get off on inflicting pain and humiliation you'd just ignore the safety word and keep bullwhipping your partner until they piss all over themselves. Or you'd go out and torture a prostitute. And if the safety measures were ignored and you subs were really pushed to your limits, I doubt you'd enjoy it at all. I don't think you even have to be particularly fucked up to do get into this shit because it's all make-believe. It's just a simulation of actual sexualy sadistic behaviour. I think it's mostly bored married couples who practice it to spice up their mediocre sex lives and feel like they're living on the edge without taking any real risks. Them and attention seeking weirdos who just want to be part of the sub-culture to shock people and because they don't fit in anywhere else.