Imma be brutally honest, here.
Your shit looks rude, but this is in line with what I've been asking for.
Xena said:You look like Howard Stern,
I dunno man, imagine this mug with some makeup and some Estrogen. Look at those eyes he tries to hide behind those sunglasses, and consider his age.
I've heard you're a baritone
I don't think my voice is beyond hope, but it's been one of the bigger hurdles.
you're almost 6' tall (unless you were lying to me.) That's ok for a guy. But for a woman?
Most of the people I've dated have been around my height, and if we're looking at my genetics I'm actually the height of the women in my family (probably thanks to sleep deprivation).
Just no. There is nothing more tragic than an ugly trannie. And you will be one.
Estrogen when it comes to reshaping the face in non-ogre faces is actually kinda miraculous. It's not perfect, but the majority of cisgendered people "don't pass" if you're looking purely at how ugly versus "fitting" they are.
Just like I can't be 6' tall without extreme pain, and I'll never look 17,
You don't need to drag me down to your midlife crisis regrets and height issues when my goal is much easier.
even with $50 000 worth of plastic surgery, you will never be feminine. Period. Why bother trying?
So I'll never be feminine because of having to train my voice and work a little harder? I understand saying I'd never be "a real woman", but being "feminine" doesn't technically even require surgery or estrogen if we get into semantics.
I'd be starting with Estrogen solely as some sort of Satan-inspired Dickgirl, and if being a Futa doesn't grow on me I know that I have surgery options. Estrogen shapeshifting has an age component to it, but the surgery being sooner's more of a matter of personal desire.
The price for male bottom surgery is around half of what you've posted here (30k) and that doesn't have as strict of a time component on it. If I end up in my lifetime only doing Estrogen without the surgery, I still see that as a vast improvement from where I'm at now.
To get more graphic, while natural random erections will go away (thank goodness holy shit they're awful), some level of action on myself is in the plan as maintenance of a sort to prevent atrophy down there, whether that's viagra use with porn or a partner or penis pumping (which is still less effort than dialating myself). While it shrinking does sound convenient for me, the skin down there is what's used for the surgery and atrophy erections should they happen are apparently no fun. I also could use a libido reduction as a nice secondary effect, as this shit some days just doesn't fucking shut up, and frankly... anal feels better anyway from being able to actually have multiple orgasms that build on each other instead of cumming from my dick and feeling unfinished (unless there's tons of edging).
You're also schizophrenic. Beyond throwing doubt all over your entire wish list bc of the delusion factor, have you thought of how female hormones will affect your psychological functioning?
Yes, for better and for worse. I had a surprisingly chill puberty beyond some weird crushes, and if it isn't like that the second time around as I'd suspect from pushing it harder in the other direction, then I mostly expect more vibrant emotions.
As weird as it might seem, that's something I'm somewhat looking forward to. As is a lot of feelings can get trapped in there if I don't do things to force them out, and I can't even remember the last time I got to have a good cry. So far, things that have raised my emotionality and expressiveness have been psychologically healthier for me than otherwise. In many respects I think this might actually help my problem, and if not I'd argue it's not a worse problem, but instead a different one.
My setting as it is now also has a support network, some involving others who did this before me or were alongside watching "the change", and is somewhat cradled by my current setting.
As for the delusions, the ones I worry more over are more tangential and build up from stress and keeping things to myself. The more consistent, solidified ones with some semblance of environmental backing and rigor meanwhile are significantly more passive if they aren't presenting a current hangup. It's when there's suddenly something else going on up there that it's like "Wait woah no that's not who I've been all this time".
If you're worried that it's going to make me kill myself like another trans statistic, the risk is about equal regardless of if I change or not.
True story: I can't take the pill.
Two of my exes would get nausea from it, one of them even consistently vomiting it back up, and all of them got notably mood swingy by comprison towards the start of it, until their bodies adjusted for those who stayed on it. Then again, the ones who'd get sick from it also had surprisingly angry periods, so their body was already not having fun with egg making. It's not for everyone, which really sucks for those who'd rather have it.
For those who struggle with the pill however there's other options even beyond condoms and diaphragms.
I'm celibate bc I don't trust condoms, either.
Have you always not trusted condoms..?
It hasn't gone wrong for me yet and I've had more than my fair share of sex, otherwise for those times going bareback with people I trusted the pullout method's been super easy to perform if you've trained your body for it through edging and kegal drills, and for whatever reason I don't seem to be a precummer. For real though, for a man to not pull out they either have to be fucking selfish or in a compromised position.
If anything, female hormones drive those guys even more batshit bc progesterone, etc is just wrong in a male body. And forget about mental illness. I knew a trannie once who behaved as if she was bipolar (even tho she didn't share her dx, she was a whackjob of a hot mess lol.)
You're sure it's because of the estrogen solely that she behaved bipolarly?
The trannies I've seen who went that way without pre-existing mood swing issues just got a little testier, which is such a non-issue. As for my own pre-existing dx, I've spent a lot of time practicing self control over an already deteriorative issue and have seen that much of it can be affected through conditioning myself and being in the right environment, so I mostly imagine that meaning me adding a bit more weight onto it.
The crazy bitch went down for murder once when her hormones were messing up her functioning...
Jeez Louise, you could end up sticking prison food up your gash to keep your hole open...
I'm already in the system as Schizoaffective (with unipolar mania displaying paranoia symptoms) with enough of my past on record and some who've witnessed my episodes instead of my usual running and hiding routine (including embarassing myself in front of some of the clinicians themselves...), so I am more than certain I'd be locked in asylum instead of prison where I'd be medicated into a near coma-like stupor.
I have a dystopian safety net to look forward to instead of stab wounds and gang tags.
I honestly dgaf what you do with your penis lol. But you asked why not.
I appreciate you being honest with me when it could have otherwise just been a chance for you to dig at me.
