Sociopath Community

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

What "didn't suit" you about it?

Wait how young are you? Are you almost fresh out of high school?

 I am 19 years old. I went to college for a semester. 

And you gave up already!? 

How long had you been planning to be a college person? Was this built up across your childhood and teenage life or was it just "something to do" that you didn't really pick for yourself? What'd you pay for your semester with? 

How much did you expect college to just "work out"? 

Turncoat said:

How'd you handle the "Freshman Jitters"? I've seen that break too many people, and it almost got me too.

I adapted pretty quick, I didn't have any "jitters" I became popular, I made a friend group, I was respected. At that time, I would be wayyyyyy more egotistical than I am now. I saw myself as superior to others. 

Who's to say you didn't run away from college much like you're running away from yourself now, and that your "confidence" wasn't blind compensation to try to handle a difficult chapter of your life? 

How were the grades? 

You know "I'll just worry about it later" is very classically self-defeating right? Is this related to your college practices at all?

Turncoat said:

And you gave up already!?

How long had you been planning to be a college person? Was this built up across your childhood and teenage life or was it just "something to do" that you didn't really pick for yourself? What'd you pay for your semester with?

How much did you expect college to just "work out"?

I left College, not because I sucked at it, or hated it, I did enjoy it, it's just my aspirations died and the idea of sitting by and not being productive in my eyes, aka not working towards resourceful skills to carry out my task and goals in life got annoying, so I left. 

Turncoat said:

Who's to say you didn't run away from college much like you're running away from yourself now, and that your "confidence" wasn't blind compensation to try to handle a difficult chapter of your life?

How were the grades?

You know "I'll just worry about it later" is very classically self-defeating right? Is this related to your college practices at all?

 No. It isn't related to college. I was doing pretty well in college until the tip off where I was planning to leave anyway to set myself on the path I am going now. I had fun hanging out with friends and doing stuff, but like I said. I put my ideology before me, before my friends and before my family. 

I don't think you're understanding what my viewpoint is. Sure college can be useful, but my goal does not end in my living a life in this society. More so, changing it. I'm not saying it'll be easy or fast or simple, I might even die, but I accept those risks. I put myself on the path I am now, because I consider it more important. Not to run away from some fears that you conjured up as possibly being my own reasons. 


I was fine with college, until I got impatient and got annoyed that I wasn't doing anything to actually benefit my end goal. 

Without the purpose I've given myself, without the path I've put myself on, I would gone mad in college, and probably resort to actually hurt someone. This path is rough, it's something I know I won't entirely enjoy, but it keeps me focused and gives me true purpose. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

And you gave up already!?

How long had you been planning to be a college person? Was this built up across your childhood and teenage life or was it just "something to do" that you didn't really pick for yourself? What'd you pay for your semester with?

How much did you expect college to just "work out"?

I left College, not because I sucked at it, or hated it, I did enjoy it, it's just my aspirations died and the idea of sitting by and not being productive in my eyes, aka not working towards resourceful skills to carry out my task and goals in life got annoying, so I left. 

Was it too demanding? 

Pre-reqs are a hassle like that, especially Freshman year. 

Turncoat said:

Who's to say you didn't run away from college much like you're running away from yourself now, and that your "confidence" wasn't blind compensation to try to handle a difficult chapter of your life?

How were the grades?

You know "I'll just worry about it later" is very classically self-defeating right? Is this related to your college practices at all?

No. It isn't related to college. I was doing pretty well in college until the tip off where I was planning to leave anyway to set myself on the path I am going now.

So the grades went down after the event, or did grades go down and then said even happened following? 

I had fun hanging out with friends and doing stuff, but like I said. I put my ideology before me, before my friends and before my family. 

Do you keep in contact with any of them still? 

I'm not surprised though, your ideology seems to be the only real shield you have right now. If someone deconstructs that what would you even have left? 

Do you worry about this at all through your compensatory zeal, your very reason to be alive, connecting to your philosophy alone?: 



As your philosophy deconstructs, so too are you liable to if that's the only backbone you've got. You will get significantly less done as long as that's all there is to your defenses. Even the room for compensatory delusion is rife with this model you're in right now. 

Again, Cultists fall into these same patterns, and have been as far back as I've studied to around the '70s. Even Mad Men talks about it with a few of their characters. You're in a fragile state right now, you should really work on rebuffing it through something other than stubbornness and willful ignorance confusion. 

Indulge me for a second, were you born either late January/sometime in February, or did you have a birthday somewhat recently? 

If you would become a mass-shooter, which group would you target?

Sintetika said: 

Without the purpose I've given myself, without the path I've put myself on, I would gone mad in college, and probably resort to actually hurt someone.

In a single semester? 

That really sounds like Freshman Year got to you. I've never seen as many breakdowns as I have from Freshman classes in college. 

Were things a lot easier on you when your folks were still around, compared to dorm living I mean? 

This path is rough, it's something I know I won't entirely enjoy, but it keeps me focused and gives me true purpose. 

So was college but you ran away from that. 

Who's to say your next path won't be the same? It's harder than college. 

Turncoat said:

Indulge me for a second, were you born either late January/sometime in February, or did you have a birthday somewhat recently?

scarlett95 said: 

I want a scar with a hello kitty paint job please and thank you

 I want a pink AR but alice pointed outit would be a terrible idea to have a colored gun in a situation where we would likely been in hiding with a stash of supplies

Turncoat said:

Was it too demanding?

Pre-reqs are a hassle like that, especially Freshman year.

 It has nothing to do with "demanding" I was entirely fine with my college it was a good college, if I needed help I got it. You misinterpret this and think that it must fit your own view. I left because of my goal in life. 

Turncoat said:

So the grades went down after the event, or did grades go down and then said even happened following?

 If by event you mean the shift. I entered the shift before I entered the college. I wasn't depressed during college. I was full of myself, I considered myself narcissistic and superior to others. Problem is when that contradiction in my head started getting to me, I chose my beliefs over my egotistical ways.

Turncoat said:

Do you keep in contact with any of them still?

I'm not surprised though, your ideology seems to be the only real shield you have right now. If someone deconstructs that what would you even have left?

Do you worry about this at all through your compensatory zeal, your very reason to be alive, connecting to your philosophy alone?:

 Of course, I hung out with some of them, just last week, and went to a fair with them a month ago. 

If somehow my ideology was deconstructed, then my purpose for my existence would cease to exist, and I'd go back to the egotistical self I once was. 

I worry about the conditions to push my goals going away via global warming thus marking an unstoppable point where Humanity will die. Once that happens, actually the thought of such makes me laugh at times. 

If you were to think of it this way, when I was entirely acting in my own interests and didn't care for much, I laughed at others pain and laughed at the idea of hurting others. Online I got compared to the Joker before, even though such a thing isn't entirely correct I would say. 

Turncoat said:

Indulge me for a second, were you born either late January/sometime in February, or did you have a birthday somewhat recently?

 Technically because I meant to clarify, but didn't. I turn 19 in August. It's just so close that it might as well be. 

Turncoat said:

n a single semester?

That really sounds like Freshman Year got to you. I've never seen as many breakdowns as I have from Freshman classes in college.

Were things a lot easier on you when your folks were still around, compared to dorm living I mean?

 I didn't have breakdowns in college, the breakdowns predate college. 

Turncoat said:

So was college but you ran away from that.

Who's to say your next path won't be the same? It's harder than college.

 I wasn't running away from college.