Sociopath Community

I've stated this before, and I'll state it again. I am not a sociopath. I do not see myself a sociopath. Nor a psychopath, nor having Anti-Social Personality Disorder.


I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

Sintetika said: 

I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

How much you've "stopped caring" has rendered you more vulnerable in those areas though. 

It's enabling a weakness. 

Sintetika said: 

I've stated this before, and I'll state it again. I am not a sociopath. I do not see myself a sociopath. Nor a psychopath, nor having Anti-Social Personality Disorder.


I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

 You're just being humble. I can tell you're a very tough and manly guy because you play with guns and are interested in them. Just don't shoot yourself or someone ok? Guns are no joke my friend.

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

How much you've "stopped caring" has rendered you more vulnerable in those areas though. 

It's enabling a weakness. 

 I don't understand what weakness it's enabling. Maybe at some point, I seek mental health, but currently, I have neither the time nor money. There are more important things to focus on. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

How much you've "stopped caring" has rendered you more vulnerable in those areas though. 

It's enabling a weakness. 

 I don't understand what weakness it's enabling. Maybe at some point, I seek mental health, but currently, I have neither the time nor money. There are more important things to focus on. 

You stopped exploring it clearly because the idea of it makes you uncomfortable. You didn't find an answer, you "moved on", and our time discussing psych shows that there is a discomfort underneath the surface for you in relation to it. 

Realizing that you're mentally ill would give you one more reason to doubt yourself, and with it doubt your convictions. It makes sense that you'd want to stop exploring it, but if you'll look at your responses to this subject matter it seems to get a different type of response out of you from the norm. 

The fact that this subject budges you to this degree has me of the mind that it needs further exploration as opposed to being avoided. After enough time thinking it over it starts to get easier (speaking from experience), and with a more secure sense of self it'll be harder for other people to lead you around and steer you based on your philosophical leanings. 

If you are to be the strongest individual that you can be, you're going to need to bolster your willpower. Raw stubbornness is not the same thing as exposure to opposing material and seeing where you fall by the end of it, and once you've paid your dues to learning your perspective it need not ever again be "I don't wanna talk about it..." and instead a confident perspective you can reference with certainty through it's former stress tests. 

When one'd "prefer to keep something to themselves", it's a sign of guarding out of fear. You seem confused about who you are, and I think exploring insecurities is a quick way to find those answers. You fall into subconsciously avoidant behaviors in spite of your desire to keep digging, and this clash is the perfect opening for you to find yourself. 

Oftentimes one's misunderstandings and confusions over themselves are self inflicted. 

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

How much you've "stopped caring" has rendered you more vulnerable in those areas though. 

It's enabling a weakness. 

 I don't understand what weakness it's enabling. Maybe at some point, I seek mental health, but currently, I have neither the time nor money. There are more important things to focus on. 

You stopped exploring it clearly because the idea of it makes you uncomfortable. You didn't find an answer, you "moved on", and our time discussing psych shows that there is a discomfort underneath the surface for you in relation to it. 

Realizing that you're mentally ill would give you one more reason to doubt yourself, and with it doubt your convictions. It makes sense that you'd want to stop exploring it, but if you'll look at your responses to this subject matter it seems to get a different type of response out of you from the norm. 

The fact that this subject budges you to this degree has me of the mind that it needs further exploration as opposed to being avoided. After enough time thinking it over it starts to get easier (speaking from experience), and with a more secure sense of self it'll be harder for other people to lead you around and steer you based on your philosophical leanings. 

If you are to be the strongest individual that you can be, you're going to need to bolster your willpower. Raw stubbornness is not the same thing as exposure to opposing material and seeing where you fall by the end of it, and once you've paid your dues to learning your perspective it need not ever again be "I don't wanna talk about it..." and instead a confident perspective you can reference with certainty through it's former stress tests. 

When one'd "prefer to keep something to themselves", it's a sign of guarding out of fear. You seem confused about who you are, and I think exploring insecurities is a quick way to find those answers. 

 The only thing that matters to me, is my task and my goals. What I am makes no difference. The only thing notable about my personality is my philosophy and my views. I consider myself an aspiring soldier of my ideology, of the movement I wish to fight for. If I must, I will repress my temptations. I can control myself. Forget the request for tips. My life, does not matter. If I must die for my ideals. I shall, with glory and pride. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said: 

Sintetika said: 

I do not know my mental condition, I am not an expert, why would I try to self-diagnose myself? Sure, in the past, I did try and I looked, but I don't find myself meeting the traits of the mentioned. I stopped caring about what could be wrong with me, and I just moved on with life. 

How much you've "stopped caring" has rendered you more vulnerable in those areas though. 

It's enabling a weakness. 

 I don't understand what weakness it's enabling. Maybe at some point, I seek mental health, but currently, I have neither the time nor money. There are more important things to focus on. 

You stopped exploring it clearly because the idea of it makes you uncomfortable. You didn't find an answer, you "moved on", and our time discussing psych shows that there is a discomfort underneath the surface for you in relation to it. 

Realizing that you're mentally ill would give you one more reason to doubt yourself, and with it doubt your convictions. It makes sense that you'd want to stop exploring it, but if you'll look at your responses to this subject matter it seems to get a different type of response out of you from the norm. 

The fact that this subject budges you to this degree has me of the mind that it needs further exploration as opposed to being avoided. After enough time thinking it over it starts to get easier (speaking from experience), and with a more secure sense of self it'll be harder for other people to lead you around and steer you based on your philosophical leanings. 

If you are to be the strongest individual that you can be, you're going to need to bolster your willpower. Raw stubbornness is not the same thing as exposure to opposing material and seeing where you fall by the end of it, and once you've paid your dues to learning your perspective it need not ever again be "I don't wanna talk about it..." and instead a confident perspective you can reference with certainty through it's former stress tests. 

When one'd "prefer to keep something to themselves", it's a sign of guarding out of fear. You seem confused about who you are, and I think exploring insecurities is a quick way to find those answers. 

 The only thing that matters to me, is my task and my goals.

Your emotional well being is also a factor. You recognize that you need to be functional to accomplish your goals, yeah? 

If someone asking you about who you are is enough to deconstruct you into compensation responses, even during your own willingness to dig, how are you supposed to respond towards things like torture and interrogation, or for that matter even surviving Boot Camp? 

If you are to have true conviction behind your goals, you'll need to fix this area, otherwise it's likely to become an outlet for your sadism when you'd least expect it down the road at worst and be a trigger that serves to weaken you at best. 

Again, I am not promoting stubborn stonewalling, I'm promoting a relaxed comfort with yourself and your situation. 

What I am makes no difference.

What you're fighting for, where you've found yourself now, is a direct result of who you are. If you were another person you'd be doing something else, so it makes a huge difference. 

Who you are also gauges what room you have to contribute. 

The only thing notable about my personality is my philosophy and my views.

I disagree, I think this is your comfort zone that you're choosing to primarily identify with as a smokescreen. 

You're more than you're giving yourself credit for here, you're also the time you've spent getting to this moment that you're having right now, right as you're reading what I've typed for you.

You're the accumulation of your experiences up to this point, and that shouldn't be ignored in favor of some textbook idea of other people. You need to let yourself focus on yourself in order to understand yourself.

This study of other groups is a distraction beyond relative comparisons, and how you're putting them all through the filter of your pre-conceived bias serves to make for even less of a comparison when you aren't even aware of who you are yet. This makes gray areas rendered black and white. 

I consider myself an aspiring soldier of my ideology, of the movement I wish to fight for.

This is construct speech, you "considering" yourself something exterior to your core. 

With others I'd argue it's an ignorance of their inner self, but you seem like you almost saw it at one point and now you don't want to look back at it. That thing you're ignoring is yourself, you ought to give it some proper nurturing to nurse it to health. 

If I must, I will repress my temptations. I can control myself. Forget the request for tips. My life, does not matter. If I must die for my ideals. I shall, with glory and pride. 

This is your giving up justifications again. You can be stronger than just becoming some beast, and your hatred of others being beasts is itself a projection of your own self-loathing through a justified lens. 

This is ego compensation after a wound, and I believe you to be the sort that can see your own words when another repeats them back to you and judge it as if it were another person saying it. Be in my shoes for a sec, how do your words appear? 

You're running away again. 

Here is I, Sintetika. A 19 year old, Marxist-Leninist who is going into the military, and just so happens to have thoughts of torturing and killing certain groups of people. While also for the most part generally is a numb person with a small range of emotions. ranging from Rare anger to Mild Frustration to Joy, and Rare Euphoria. 

What more is there to delve into? Even trying to look in my own life, there's very little there. Honestly, the mental issues I suffer from are ones that seemingly make no sense. I've never suffered physical abused. The closest thing to emotional abuse was the girl I spoke with that wanted me to die. Regardless, I don't consider that real trauma. 

I masked who I was in college perfectly well, even became popular and well-respected. I'm not some depressed rebel. I don't get depression anymore, it's gone. I don't hate myself. Do I have criticisms of myself, of course. I try to work on those. 

Sintetika said: 

Here is I, Sintetika. A 19 year old, Marxist-Leninist who is going into the military, and just so happens to have thoughts of torturing and killing certain groups of people.

...wait, doesn't joining the military mean you fighting for the interests of the people you despise? 

While also for the most part generally is a numb person with a small range of emotions. ranging from Rare anger to Mild Frustration to Joy, and Rare Euphoria. 

This simplifies it too much. I've seen more about you than this in less than 24 hours, through the computer. 

What more is there to delve into? Even trying to look in my own life, there's very little there.

There's so much more, you just would rather quit than understand it, enabling a weakness in order to maintain a present sense of safety. 

You need to feel a bit unsafe to start understanding yourself, then from that understanding can come a real sense of safety, a fortified stress tested one formed through experience instead of just mere ideas on paper. 

Honestly, the mental issues I suffer from are ones that seemingly make no sense. I've never suffered physical abused. 

You don't have to be an abuse victim to have urges dude. 

Do you think my masochism stems from abuse? No, I had a pretty cushy life that I'm rather thankful for, and somehow I'm still this kinky deviant who desires a good paddl'n. 

Sadism is actually one of the more normal ones, one I've been arguing for a while exists in all people to varying degrees. It usually doesn't take much more than giving someone permission to be sadistic to see it suddenly switch on. 

Most sadism is disallowed purely as a result of societal conditioning. People by nature, like most animals with increased intelligence, are assholes. Have you studied Birds? Apes? Dolphins? 

Sadism is more natural than pacifism, and people have been finding outlets for it for years. Daydreaming of crushing the skull of their boss they hate or the friend that insulted them is pretty normal, your subject matter just happens to be more... faceless? 

You ever try martial arts? There's a lot to learn about yourself and what you're capable of through it that leads to passive comforts similar to how I'm discussing fortifying your perspective. Parkour in it's infancy had a similar ideology as well for building yourself up through tangible, measurable means. 

I masked who I was in college perfectly well, even became popular and well-respected. I'm not some depressed rebel.

You aren't, but you follow their media so you likely were at one point. 

It's cool dude, I used to be "goth". This shit happens when you're still growing up and otherwise acquiring more discerning tastes. 

I don't get depression anymore, it's gone. I don't hate myself. Do I have criticisms of myself, of course. I try to work on those. 

You instead have denial, fear, and projective self loathing you throw at those who have traits similar to the ones in yourself you've spent excessive time demonizing. 

You aren't really mentally healthy presently, you read more like someone who's been stuck in a compensation spiral for a while to live with not having to face yourself. 

There is so much depth to people, and you're not exempt. You're oversimplifying to try to guard yourself. 

Turncoat said:

...wait, doesn't joining the military mean you fighting for the interests of the people you despise?

 There's a reason why I said I dislike the idea of talking about myself and the path I'm going down. 

I use sadism in a different sense then that of the norm. I don't get sexual gratification from fantasizing and acting in said temptations. I get a nice feeling in my chest and an intoxicating feeling. 

Turncoat said:

There is so much depth to people, and you're not exempt. You're oversimplifying to try to guard yourself.

 If there's a depth to me that would help me become better, I don't see it. At all. I can think of all the times I've been hurt, but I've already thought about those in depth. What specific part about me? I don't know what there is that is important.