Sternberg prevails to be a figure of which in some way I aspire, I can't describe it. I obviously disagree with his wishes to maintain feudalism and approval of the Romanov decadence, but the aesthetic of him, the basis of what he sought out to do, in some ways I imagine myself wanting to be like him, obviously I'm not versed in anything he was, but I have strange warlord aspirations, and have an interest in the khanates that existed, and hold a positive view of Genghis Khan and such.
It's that aesthetic that persists in my head, and obviously means nothing to others, I am just some crazy fool rambling in my own "padded cell" that is this thread.
I don't expect people to relate, I just have some similarities in interests with some of this forum, the people here that I hold most respect for would be Good, Alice, and Cx3. Not that I dislike others, TC and Trypt are cool. Most people on this forum I can get along with, and I maintain some level of civility, but its not like I actually interest much here, I merely exist as a malfunctioning machine spewing out random bits of meaningless info as everyone else converses. Trapped in my own mind of rambling. The only people here that actually disgust me, even though I maintain this presentation of civility are the fucking mutant bitch goblin pedophiles who disgrace the beauty of mankind's existence.
Pests that I wish nothing but complete and total immortality thrown into the void to mentally break of sensory depravation.
Fritz Sternberg
I wouldn't know much about Fritz, maybe I should look into him though it looks like most of his work refers to Germany and its issues around that time, still could be useful maybe at some point who knows.
So if you are reading this, I'd ask for you to vote on this here POLL
Who would you compare me to on this site?
Examples of why the way the Internet been manifested especially sphere of Liberalism (Not liberals as in democrats, the entire sphere of LIBERALISM) is a disease and in my personal opinion the cons outweigh the pros. It's practically a tool to spy, propagandize, and help facilitate the creation of mentally ill sheep who worship brands, and eat up bullshit. As much as I enjoy the content I watch, and the beautiful moments I have watching shit before my time like Johnny Carson, etc in the grand scheme of things, the internet is currently demonic.
If my standing in this country dies, and whatever American dream I try to achieve dies here, and I lose those around me, then I will just dedicate my life to the search of answers and hidden knowledge, deluded and idiotic or not. I will travel the world, study languages, and visit the sites of ancient civilizations, and seek to converse with their descendants who carry on their legacy, as a means to better understand the wholeness of mankind. I already with my ignorance, and maybe I will be proven wrong, but I am convinced there is something that unites us all as a species, that across our different forms of development we had likeness.
If I dive into theology, my expectations are that you can find syncretism in Abrahamic mysticism and Buddhism and Taoism. Maybe its not that simple, maybe I'm a blabbering fool whose to say. I speak from ignorance on these subjects, So much still to learn. Even if in the end I come off as some idiotic fool larping and I die like a retard then so be it. May history laugh at me, but if great men in history were able to achieve such things having come from nothing then what makes it so impossible for me to try? Especially if the world to me seems to get darker by the day and has its plans to return to the state of apocalyptic times.
Even if I die, get forgotten, and achieve nothing at least I died trying and that is all that matters to me.
In general, I am convinced there can be synthesis of philosophy, politics, science, psychology, and theology, and perhaps many more subjects.
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11/20/2022 6:58:47 PM
This is the pain I will strive to cast upon myself.
Learning German is definitely something I plan on doing, as for playing fallout irl yea that works for me as well. Regardless, I'll die trying whatever it is I seek to do, as giving up is pointless to me.
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11/20/2022 7:04:22 PM
I've come to realize something that is just strange.
Most people at my company go through a contract before getting hired on, normally through a staffing agency, they also receive training and classes. Instead a recruiter directly sought me as an individual out, and even someone higher than my manager had to get my manager to make my job offer letter since there was a delay on that. My recruiter would frequently call to check up on me, and even told me we should meet in person one day.
So, unlike any of my coworkers, I was hired on instantly with 401k benefits, paid holidays, and with no training prior or anything. I've noticed I have a tendency to slip through the cracks of systems, when I worked for Walmart awhile back, you're supposed to have an interview, I went from applying to instantly hired.
I don't know if its divine intervention, if somehow my recruiter knows me, and as I move up I'll be included in some esoteric group, I have no clue, probably none of the above, but my imagination likes for me to think something schizo is happening, as my life has felt so surreal and crazy to me with the strange events I've been in.
So in a random burst of ego, I AM DESTINED BY GOD, ALL THE MORE PROOF THAT I SHALL RISE AND CONQUER
but yea.