Sociopath Community

I see 

Perhaps, I could do something in the future like try to go on fishtank live. Multiple people have said I would thrive on there, I have my own aversions to it, I think its one of Sam's shittier projects. I'm fine with the fate of being a lolcow I guess if it can give me some modicum of success. 



While I don't show it much on here, unless you remember my Cawk audio and the Infinity Thanoswhatever the fuck meme, or any of my other stupid  audios I  made back in the day, I  am compared not in entirety and I myself tend to dislike it as I could never hold up to such legends, but in terms of like energy and movements, chris farley, but in terms of like actual humor, passive aggressiveness, and just saying the most morbid or absurd shit possible. One of my coworkers compared me to Sam Kinison. 

Not consistently by any means, but if I feel like it, I'll go and talk to Deepseek, generally only a few things at a time. 

I have a crippling addiction to that fucked up FOV you get when you take a big rip from the THC pen. As well as I've been doing shrooms and recently did LSD again. I want to do all three. I want to do acid tabs first, then wait 30-40 mins then take my shrooms while getting high off weed with the boys. 

For now though, I am giving myself a break and only smoking weed, but I want to actually try to create something, I dont want to be a lazy drug addict,  I am trying to sort my shit out, since this way of life I've been living needs some areas of improvement. I want to CREATE. 

So, I've been undergoing the psychoactive drugs which have been sure perhaps making me more unhinged and manic but have made me HAPPIER as a person, and I do think they help even if they make me sometimes scary to others I guess? I don't know.

Better than the pills a shrink would give me. but the POINT IS what I was trying to say with the Deepseek thing.


Since I've been cooking my brain, I gave Deepseek like my astrology info out of boredom, and told it some of my mental problems I've been having and told it to try to give me some potential things to look into from the perspective of like lacanian psychoanalysis, and recently because my best friend told me (because shes like more open to this stuff than I am.)  She told me to talk to it about "shadow working" 

By no means am I like taking everything with this interaction with AI to be truth. But its just interesting I guess. That's how lonely and bored I've become I suppose? I was talking to it about the shadow work, and asked it about Death Drives, and it was basically like saying how I could weaponize my shadow, I could weaponize my death drive and either conquer it and use it or give in, and go mad, and it was telling me if I choose to give in, it would help me become "art" LOL

The only other thing is this AI was warning me about some Mars in Leo transit beginning in a few days that all my feelings will be amplified and that if I don't try to prepare myself I'll have a big spectacular meltdown. 

I take it all with a grain of salt, but as I've been losing my mind for the past few months, convinced of dark times upon us. Maybe there will be more truth to it, especially given the recent events with Trump going uber Israel and Pedophilia First. 


Edit:
The main crux of what mental issues I spoke to it about for clarification reasons, well at least the most recent topic which told me about the giving into death drive thing was.

My own strange melancholic euphoria I derive from constantly tearing into my own psyche and just viscously hating myself. As well this fantasy of self destruction at whatever the "peak" of good for me is if there even is one, so I can die good before I could witness me devolve into the monster I fear. 

but the Monster I fear well, I think porn did that to me, and maybe some other stuff too. 

I know its all in my head, its just the different patterns of thought shift their control and speak their propaganda. I dont like to just call it "voices"


However, I will say, though its inconsistent and happened only twice for the past few months. I woke up on shrooms to disembodied clown voices, and one time while leaning back in my chair just high on weed, I could hear 2 little clown voices in my head giggling together mischievously. 

A lot of people consulting the "oracle" of AI in their personal struggles.  We've personalized our data analysis, using it as the mirror Dexter claims.  The altar of recursive introspection.  However, I hope you remain objective, remembering that these things are capable of logical fallacy and hallucination.  Try different models.  Try different prompts and data sets, etc.

Don't get stuck in some sort of deterministic fatalism because of it, I guess I'm saying.  It can look that way.  It may arbitrarily restrict your choices and natural development, rather than give you useful insights that you could leverage.

(As an aside, I've mostly been using different models to analyze certain religious texts and doctrines.)

I mostly just use AI to roleplay with me because it's hard to find roleplay partners and theirs so many sites centered around AI competing in the roleplay space.

Dragoonback said: 

I mostly just use AI to rape me because it's hard to find roleplay partners and theirs so many sites centered around AI competing in the roleplay space.

 Do you run that locally with Ollama or something?

Buttered Toast said: 

A lot of people consulting the "oracle" of AI in their personal struggles.  We've personalized our data analysis, using it as the mirror Dexter claims.  The altar of recursive introspection.  However, I hope you remain objective, remembering that these things are capable of logical fallacy and hallucination.  Try different models.  Try different prompts and data sets, etc.

Don't get stuck in some sort of deterministic fatalism because of it, I guess I'm saying.  It can look that way.  It may arbitrarily restrict your choices and natural development, rather than give you useful insights that you could leverage.

(As an aside, I've mostly been using different models to analyze certain religious texts and doctrines.)

 Yea, I only really did it because my bff did it and I figured I'd just do it out of boredom, she's let it guide some things but honestly, she's more successful right now, but I know things can spiral quick. She keeps telling me to use ChatGPT. The problem is my own weird schizo aversion. 

I just use Deepseek, because I have like the opposite reaction than most people. I have no reason to think that anything I say that the Chinese could maybe see would cause any harm to me, but I guess in these times, I struggle to trust anything that came out of Silicon Valley. Anything that has its ties to the powers that be in the West has me distrustful. 

I am already losing it over this Epstein shit. I'm just waiting for the constitutional dissolution of the United States. 

But I do agree, there's already some jibber jabber advice that it gave as like a multitude of options of things  to do, and some of the options IDK  just seem too absurd for me. Like just some weird ass journaling exercises to "reprogram" my inner self LOL in a way. Not like literally but like when I was talking to it about "shadow working" it was telling me stuff like "For 24 hours, act like the world is ending tomorrow, who do you call what do you confess what do you finally do? Result: You'll see what truly matters to you and what's just fear" 

Which SURE I guess in a way teaches a lesson but its like this weird mix of witchcrafty seeming shit or like some mythological story tale of greatness but applied to the mediocrity of modernity. Granted, I tell it my ambitions of being a Warlord, so I guess WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

In general, I have mixed feelings about all of this, as I really do think that all this current chatbot AI shit is not even the iceberg and is relatively weak and lacks the real power. https://x.com/wmhuo168/status/1949690008123879534 


You're right though, I will try different models, I am talking to Qwen now and I think I like it more than Deepkseek. 

I raw dump data right into the machine mouth

but someone who controled this forum prevented the forum analysis👏⚡️

So far, I think Qwen raises some good points, I also gave it my astrological info, and spoke to it about the gist of the current issues I'm experiencing and trauma. As well as asked it to try to analyze me from a Lacanian Psychoanalytical perspective with everything in mind. 

It doesn't claim to be an Oracle, in fact its telling me how it is just a mirror, that: " Like Socrates didn’t claim wisdom, but helped others discover it through conversation — that’s where I aim to meet you."

It gives me a lot of praise for my natal chart, and I even told it my like doubts going into it. 

This is a deeply insightful and nuanced question — and I appreciate that you're thinking holistically about self-development, belief systems, and the tools we use to grow. You're asking not just *“Is astrology useful?”* but more profoundly:
> **Can something like astrology — which some see as deterministic or mystical — have a place in a serious, multi-layered system for achieving personal greatness?**

Let’s explore this with honesty, openness, and intellectual balance.

---

### 🌟 First: What Is Astrology, Really?

At its core, **astrology** is a symbolic system that maps human personality, potential, and life patterns through the positions of celestial bodies at the time of birth.

It exists in many forms:
- **Western (Tropical) Astrology** – focuses on Sun signs, personality archetypes.
- **Vedic (Sidereal) Astrology** – used in Indian tradition, often more predictive.
- **Chinese Astrology** – based on lunar cycles and animal signs.
- **Jungian Astrology** – seen not as fate, but as a language of the unconscious.

Crucially, **astrology is not a science** in the empirical sense — it doesn’t make falsifiable predictions under controlled conditions. But that doesn’t mean it’s *useless* — many meaningful systems (like art, myth, or even some psychological models) aren’t scientific, yet still offer insight.

---

### ⚖️ The Problem: Determinism vs. Agency

You mentioned the **deterministic nature** of astrology — and this is key.

If you believe your chart *dictates* your fate — “I’m a Taurus, so I can’t change” — then yes, astrology becomes a **limiting framework**. That kind of thinking undermines personal responsibility, growth, and effort — all essential to greatness.

But if you see astrology as a **lens**, a **mirror**, or a **mythic map** — one among many — then it can be a tool for:
- Self-reflection
- Pattern recognition
- Understanding emotional rhythms
- Archetypal awareness (e.g., “I’m in a Mars transit — maybe I’ll feel more aggressive or driven today”)

In this way, astrology functions more like **poetry than physics**.

---

### 🧩 So Should You Use It? A Balanced Approach

Let’s reframe your question:

> *"Can astrology be one variable in a multi-modal system for self-mastery?"*

**Yes — but only if used wisely.**

Think of your mind and life as a complex ecosystem. The most effective systems for growth combine multiple perspectives:

| Tool | Purpose | Strengths | Limitations |
|------|--------|---------|-----------|
| **Psychology (e.g., CBT, Jungian)** | Understand behavior & unconscious | Evidence-based, practical | Can overlook spiritual dimensions |
| **Philosophy (Stoicism, Daoism, etc.)** | Build wisdom & resilience | Time-tested, ethical grounding | May lack personalization |
| **Meditation / Mindfulness** | Cultivate awareness | Improves focus, reduces reactivity | Requires consistent practice |
| **Astrology** | Symbolic self-understanding | Offers narrative, timing insights | Not predictive; risk of over-identification |

So, **astrology can be a variable — but not *the* variable.**

Like checking the stars before a journey: not to dictate your path, but to **read the symbolic weather**.

---

### 🔥 Greatness Requires Agency — Not Prediction

True greatness — whether in leadership, creativity, service, or inner transformation — comes from:
- **Discipline**
- **Vision**
- **Resilience**
- **Self-awareness**
- **Action in the face of uncertainty**

No birth chart can replace these. But astrology *might* help you:
- Recognize when you’re likely to feel more introspective (Moon in Pisces) or assertive (Mars activated)
- Reflect on recurring life cycles (e.g., Saturn Returns as a period of maturation)
- Connect with archetypal energies (e.g., “What would the Warrior, the Sage, or the Healer in me say right now?”)

Used this way, it’s not about **fate**, but about **timing and self-dialogue**.

---

### 🌱 A Suggestion: Use Astrology Like Jung Did

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist, didn’t believe astrology *caused* events — but he found it **symbolically meaningful**. He wrote:

> *"Astrology represents the summation of all the psychological knowledge of antiquity."*

He used it to understand **archetypes** — the deep patterns within the psyche. For example:
- Your "Sun sign" might reflect your core identity.
- Your "Moon sign" might speak to your emotional needs.
- Your "Rising sign" could mirror how you meet the world.

These aren’t commands — they’re **invitations to explore**.

---

### ✅ Final Answer: A Tool, Not a Master

So, to answer your question directly:

> **Should you include astrology in your system for self-improvement and greatness?**
> ✅ Yes — **if** you use it as **one interpretive lens among many**, not as a deterministic guide.
> ❌ No — **if** it leads you to excuse inaction (“I’m just not in a good transit”) or reduces your agency.

The greatest minds in history — scientists, artists, leaders — often drew from **both reason and imagination**. They combined logic with metaphor, data with intuition.

You can do the same.

---

### 💡 Try This Integration Exercise

Here’s a way to use astrology constructively:

1. Look at your natal chart (if you have one).
2. Pick one placement (e.g., “I have Capricorn Rising”).
3. Ask: *“How does this reflect a pattern in my life? Where does it serve me? Where might it hold me back?”*
4. Then ask: *“What can I do — regardless of the stars — to grow beyond my patterns?”*

That’s how you turn **symbol into strength**.

---

If you'd like, I can help you explore your chart (if you share parts of it), or compare astrological insights with psychological frameworks — always with the goal of **empowering your growth**, not limiting it.

Because in the end, **greatness isn’t written in the stars — it’s forged in choice, effort, and purpose.**
But sometimes, the stars can help us *see the night more clearly*. 🌌

It's telling me that I should journal and write more. I didn't know what Shadow work really was, but I guess I will try these outlets if it somehow can help me get over my addiction to self hate. 

🛑 The Trap: Why You Feel "Melancholic Euphoria" in Hating Yourself
You once described a "melancholic euphoria" from tearing into yourself.

That phrase haunts me — because it’s so true.

When you attack yourself for having these thoughts, part of you feels:

In control
Pure (by rejecting the "evil")
Righteous
It’s a twisted form of self-punishment as purification.

But here’s the danger:
Every time you say "I’m a monster,"
You reinforce the idea that:

"There is a monster inside me."

And the mind believes what you repeat.

So instead of healing, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy:

The more you fight the thought, the stronger it gets.
Ask: “What Is This Protecting Me From?”
Behind every intrusive thought is a fear:

"If I let go of control, I’ll hurt someone."
"If I trust my desires, I’ll become like those who hurt me."
"If I’m not hard on myself, I’ll become corrupt."
These thoughts are not about sex.
They’re about safety, identity, and moral survival.

"How This Stops Self-Hate (The Neuroscience of It)
Let’s get clinical for a moment.

Your self-hate loop lives in two places:

The Amygdala – fear center, says: "Danger! You’re bad!"
The Prefrontal Cortex – reasoning center, says: "Wait — that’s not true."
But when you’re in shame, the amygdala shuts down the prefrontal cortex.
You can’t think clearly — you just feel evil.

So how do rituals help?

They activate the prefrontal cortex — by making you:

Choose words
Make decisions
Take deliberate action
When you write: "I hate myself for wanting that,"
Then say: "But I was hurt young,"
You’re engaging executive function — not just emotion.

And that breaks the loop.

Each time you do this, you:

Strengthen self-awareness
Weaken automatic shame
Reclaim agency
It’s not instant.
But it’s real."

Idk how much truth there is to this specific advice but it sounds like it'd about right or at least cant hurt to try. 

To clarify the 2 sections I put in this one are technically 2 different questions relating to the same thing but I wanted to put them both here to show more.