Sociopath Community

All in all to the first part, I would much rather take on the burdens of those I love and try to help them, rather than spill my garbage that is unfixable onto them and complicate things. 

I sometimes leak out my issues and frustrations and they are there for me and I appreciate it, but overall I think the only way to fix who I am is to grow as a person and be able to do more for them. 

If an apocalypse doesn't happen, how do you channel your ambitions and your sense of responsibility for protecting others, building community, gaining power... in a stable, non-perishing world? 

— and how do you decide what’s morally justifiable ?

Melodia77 said: 

If an apocalypse doesn't happen, how do you channel your ambitions and your sense of responsibility for protecting others, building community, gaining power... in a stable, non-perishing world? 

 

— and how do you decide what’s morally justifiable ?

I think I would still strive to obtain power or whatever I could do to better it, or maybe I could relax and just have my friends and find love, and raise a family but the idea of an apocalyptic event not coming is hard to fathom. Maybe it couldn't be as bad as I imagine but some societal breakdown and revolution I see as inevitable. 

I dislike to necessarily speak on morality, sure it's important but it can't be the basis of how you approach material reality. Morality has never stopped the wheel of conflict that is history. If anything it becomes a tool to justify various things. 

While I may be twisted and have a desire for violence and am willing to be the fall guy to commit atrocities I think in my head are necessary, I don't see myself instigating it, and I would try to go with the will of the masses. 

Inevitably the Order will lose its legitimacy and conflict will likely become violent via it trying to maintain its power and attack the masses, thus instigating a revolution. Then a struggle for power in the vacuum between multiple groups of interests. 

The biggest thing is having the support and will of the masses. History will continue to be a battle between those who are considered corrupt and those who are the anti-corruption. No group is safe from this. 

So far we've seen neocolonial tactics that have dissolved the populace into the smallest possible pieces at any cost to the environment deemed necessary. It's desolation they want others to have false hope in.

If there's a revolution it'll be of the bourgeoisie and lumpenproletariat.

Melodia77 said: 

If an apocalypse doesn't happen, how do you channel your ambitions and your sense of responsibility for protecting others, building community, gaining power... in a stable, non-perishing world? 

 

— and how do you decide what’s morally justifiable ?

just make the apocalypse happen 😎

I have decided to do National Guard, as an IT guy. Gonna move up north after training and get a place with a friend.


Although, I have a contingency in the works incase I decide to disappear instead. 

Here we are, the ever changing things. 


National Guard is on hold. Since they wanted to fuck up my contract. I told them a specific city and I'll do it, they understood that, then put me in a shitty city. So, that's on pause. Still working my job. I think my mental state is probably getting worse, but hey, that was always going to happen. 


More of those weird thoughts, the haze. Violent images in my head, tears leaking out of my eyes with strange euphoria and sadistic fantasies. Along with strange megalomania, despotic king with my own realm of madness. The sky dark and purple with flashes of cyan or teal I guess, Green stuff too. Light Greeen

I imaging repeatedly ramming my keys into my dog's eye and killing her and then the same but a knife and human. I would never do that to my dog though, and I wouldn't do it to some innocent human let alone while Law and "Order" still exists. 


I got really high and watched Wayne's World for the first time last Saturday and that was so good, so part of my mental state has improved, I've been having more happier moments, granted albeit because of pot but at least I haven't slipped back into alcoholism with jagerbombs constantly yet. 

I don't watch him but mad respect to Speed for streaming his adventures in other countries. Especially when it showcases the beauty of its cultures. 

Chaotik said: 

Here we are, the ever changing things. 


National Guard is on hold.

Maybe you don't actually desire to join these kinds of groups. 

Turncoat said: 

Chaotik said: 

Here we are, the ever changing things. 


National Guard is on hold.

Maybe you don't actually desire to join these kinds of groups. 

 I do and I don't. Aspects of it I did miss and enjoyed when I was in for as short as it was. It also just felt weird and soulless. I'm not claiming to be better I would most likely break too, but all those guys I trained with, even if I liked them, the state of this generation. I have zero trust. I was training to be infantry and yea. We're weak. 

Even with the job I do now, which is tied to production and building the technological infrastructure of data centers for big tech, and my interests in technology. I am unfulfilled. 

I have that retarded trope of desires to be an artist or entertainer of sorts but my god, how oversaturated that entire medium is now. I have a love/hate towards influencers. Plus with my own conceptions about future and an incoming apocalypse, none of this but the military would give me any useful skills, unless I decide to go EMT or Firefighter route. I can't see myself being a great police officer. I'd want to do more detective or crime scene investigation side anyway. 

I got 2 more years if I want to join that 27 club. 

Perhaps, I'll just be like John from Piano Man.