My advice remains the same: Explore other people.
I don't entirely know what you mean by explore other people? Other options? Go out and socialize? Read up on different figures?
Socializing, seeing outside of your own skull.
You're in your own head too much, visit other heads.
I've attempted to I think at least in a good capacity, I hangout with various people online, I get together with childhood friends, and recently hung out with coworkers at a bar, but even then I find myself alone in feeling. Only my online friend group that I am the head of is the closest thing to me, and even so, I still get trapped in my own head.
Socializing, seeing outside of your own skull.
You're in your own head too much, visit other heads.I've attempted to I think at least in a good capacity, I hangout with various people online, I get together with childhood friends, and recently hung out with coworkers at a bar, but even then I find myself alone in feeling. Only my online friend group that I am the head of is the closest thing to me, and even so, I still get trapped in my own head.
Would they feel as close if you were not "the head of" your group of friends?
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Socializing, seeing outside of your own skull.
You're in your own head too much, visit other heads.I've attempted to I think at least in a good capacity, I hangout with various people online, I get together with childhood friends, and recently hung out with coworkers at a bar, but even then I find myself alone in feeling. Only my online friend group that I am the head of is the closest thing to me, and even so, I still get trapped in my own head.
Would they feel as close if you were not "the head of" your group of friends?
I am pretty certain so, its an old friend group that has been around for 6-7 years now. I wasn't always the "head" but I was the one that always kept it together, I consider the people in the group to be like a family to me, I dream of obtaining property and them joining me as we all live together in a community.
I've noticed that in most of my online friend groups, at leas the ones that really had an impact on me, I was the center of, and I'm the one that got people to make connections with each other, and if I wasn't there it would just go inactive and die. The "fabric" holding everything together. Maybe it's delusional but my friends don't object since it seems that way.
last edit on
1/27/2023 12:48:16 PM
Why is being the center of attention desired, so that they don't distract your self-fixation?
The way I speak here and the way I interact with them is different, typically I don't talk about what I do here with them, and if I do, its venting out but typically the conversations don't revolve around me, and if they do get into my life, it also jumps to their lives. It's just that I am naturally the one who organizes everything.
burning in my head, obsessions.
It doesn't matter, who this is, Who ever I was growing up, must be murdered whoever I was. Whoever this life is, I don't care for it. I am disillusioned with the majority of it,.
I know what I fucking want, and I know it's painful, and a struggle, doesn't matter, it must happen anyway. There's nothing here for who I am now, this place holds nothing for me but to further drive me up a god damn wall.
I'll do what I fucking want, and if I die for it, so be it. I have to get somewhere, rotting away isn't a fucking OPTION
Demonic thoughts in my head. Images of necrophlia against the headless corpses of girls who were obsessed with me and kept trying to get with me.
Burning, burning. Yes they were beautiful, except one who had an ugly face but good body. I hate that there is even this degeneracy inside my skull.