Sociopath Community

From nothing, a big journey, a grand adventure of strife, agonizing hell. Perhaps I will die in horror, my eyes leaking as all my ambitions and the lights from my eyes fade.

Perhaps I'm ignorant and stupid due to youth, perhaps these images, the music in my head, its false, its all wrong and I am only acting this way as some form of young ignorance attempting to escape from reality. 

Even so, who cares? Does it actually matter? Maybe I'm dumb, maybe really fucking dumb. maybe I'll grow to regret this somehow, and hate everything. I already hate everything is there a difference?


I hesitated, and regretted, it ate at me. I want a new life, I want to be something, I have grand dreams in my head that I can't ignore lest I scream unsatisfied forever. I don't care if I die, I don't care if I'm mentally ill, and delusional. It doesn't matter. I am sick of the way things are. If I die a retard, a fool, so be it. Whatever, it doesn't matter to me. Yes, I dream of impacting history, of course I do, of course an aspect of me desires such, but even so, notoriety isn't its sole function, even if I die unknown yet my actions lead to to something better and grander, then I suppose that is enough for me.

I will strive to get where I want in the military, and when I get out, I will gather my flock, and I will get land, self-reliance, and strength, preparations for hell on Earth, and if I am ever to arise in some form of power, then I will do what I can do expand my vision. 

I am absurd, my thoughts are absurd, a paradox, I imagine absurd things that make me laugh that I wish to do, inconsistencies, strange estrangeness. Maybe those aspects won't come but I imagine they will.


Mine eyes water at these grand thoughts. I don't think anyone understands me, I hope one day to find someone I can love, and cherish who knows. 

The one I love now doesn't know, I am just crazy to all, I hope the best for her, I wish she would take my life insurance, she was always kind to me growing up, I just want her to be safe. 

My mind all over the place, I laugh to myself at images in my head, demented images. The house I want, the furniture, I want, the trophies I wear, and mount on my wall. Beautiful images perhaps of mortality, of humanity of victory

Chaotik said: 

I love the backhanded lies they try to sell to me. I will serve but on my terms alone.

They win either way. 

Turncoat said: 

Chaotik said: 

I love the backhanded lies they try to sell to me. I will serve but on my terms alone.

They win either way. 

 

 Of course they do, and I will get what I want out of the deal, not asking for much overall. They're just rushing for their retarded quotas that mean nothing to me. 

Apathy and in general boredom and bitterness consume me today as I rot away tired. Pornography keeps tempting me when I would rather just not have libido until I find time and someone special for such things. Today I feel like shit, and I am angry at this fact, but I will keep falling and I will keep getting back up until I die or achieve something good. 

suck my freshly appetized shit

Eyes watering, beautiful thoughts, its all again again again. While those who are with me cannot understand, I have faith they will still fit into this end.

Unaware of the truth yet, I repent to any force out there that I seek to discover and become closer to if not oneness, I apologize for my recent depravities. 

I would like to think one day maybe I'll be looked at and they shall say "He walks the fine line between Einstein and Charles Manson" but may never not be true?

Is this absurd? Of course, the line of humor is blurred as days go on. These are obsessions that hold value in my life, deluded or not.




The enemies will die, the fucking disgusting demonic bitch mutant fucks will scream in holy fucking terror. 

Either way its a months long process, its just annoying dealing with family bullshit that makes me want to accelerate it but I know, that's dumb. I would rather bide my time for the job I want, its just I get annoying thoughts of violence towards my family. 

I must sleep but rampancy, rampancy thoughts, so much to be done, so much so much so much.


Beauty, I know my friends cant see it all, but they are the closest I have. and beauty will come, it is inevitable.

Those who can't see it, who reject it, will perish.