Sociopath Community

Took shower took meds and now it’s AC time 

I been playin that usually right before I fall asleep 

but if I don’t I watch YouTube for a min 

I was baked all day today cuz I got high at lunch and passed out when I woke up I got high again and then my mom came home and then I went to the beach 

I didn’t go to my NA groups tonight cuz I didn’t make it back in time but it’s whatever 

was thinking bout scheduling with my therapist cuz it was something I’ve been thinking bout ... cuz of trauma 

and it would be proud to say I’m six months clean to my therapist if u don’t count weed 

cuz last time I saw her I had relapsed and just came off an all night meth binge partying out with my gf and friends literally all night and hadn’t slept so she’d probably be pretty glad to hear that 

I just have to write reminders to myself to help sort of negate the negative thoughts I get about going to therapy that prevents me from going and just a general note to self that will help me stay on track with that... 

but yeah I’m super tired so i gotta sleep 

👌

one of these tools of recovery is mindfulness which is the point of journaling. To gain self awareness, monitor, notice patterns, and target where to implement change in your thoughts and behaviors to free you of ur own suffering and demise lol

its DBTherapy technique. 

this is just one of many many tools

made a better chart to explain anxiety with pictures

I had some worries on my mind so i got it out on paper instead of playing animal crossing 

Now i feel better. 

Make sure to open up and talk to ppl, vent, talk to professionals etc. and, to reward yourself for small accomplishments. Seriously, celebrate the small victories. Be happy about it. 

Some Small victories to me are, self care, and staying clean. Gratitude, or, staying quiet when i could of, mouthed off. 

love urself, no seriously. peace

and remember, practice makes easier, and wholeness not perfection. 

Now i feel kind of hypomanic so thats fun (no its not) 

i wish there was a way to make it fucking stop

edit: i guess i could take a benzo or something. I will if the anxiety gets too gnarly... I’m just gonna draw or do stuff for now with my nervous energy :/ I’m not very happy bout feeling like this

10am

ended up falling asleep and woke up feeling calmer so 

I still feel a little energetic, where as yesterday I was depressed and did nothing but sleep so. 

I was a little depressed this morning just waking up in this environment. Moms angry cuz business is taking a huge shit, and my dad harasses me every morning in the kitchen and I have to put up with it. I just am the type of person that’s much happier with my own personal space and peace and quiet, especially in the mornings but. I’m not letting it get me down, just noting my thoughts because, that’s what this is. A DBT journal essentially. Awareness brings change y’all. I don’t wanna be depressed permanently so, we tryin somethin. 

Coffee in the cup, I have to pack up some boxes I guess. Might go to the beach again later. Everyone is out on boats and jet skis it’s great, like, it’s an unprecedented amount of people out doing fun things because it’s Florida it’s hot it’s summer and no one had anything to do. Lol I might vlog it or something who knows. 

I need to order groceries at some point too. The highlight of my week. I feel like fucking Emily Dickinson. 

Been diggin this lately... 

I feel depressed again a lil dawg