Sun Tzu said:知彼知己，百戰不殆；不知彼而知己，一勝一負；不知彼，不知己，每戰必殆
"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle."
Turncoat said:You ought to get in touch with that you, otherwise this is how ticking time bombs happen.
When you censor your baser self, it's needs become unmet and the side effects of not feeding those appetites bear their fangs. For your own sake, you'd be better off reconnecting with that side of you so that you may grow past it and overcome it, as opposed to this escapist self-shaming routine you've found yourself in.I don't know how to reconnect with it? I tried when I went to go see someone I loved die. Is it not possible that my base-self is just who I am now, and that I've just changed as a person? I didn't just choose to become this way, I gradually became this way, and when I did, I found myself to be more superior than my previous version. I don't suffer the weakness of social anxiety, I don't get much stress, and I've made more friends and became popular for a time. I've helped others, I've made people laugh. I mean sure, I get dark urges at times that are annoying and won't stop conking me in my head, but that's just a small thing.
Keep it that way. Suddenly I'm more desirable because I'm less emotionally, something that just developed over time. It's refreshing to have in a way. Keep those dark urges as distant as possible for as long as possible. Otherwise you might end up seriously considering doing something that would end you up in jail. Dont is kill those people you want to kill
Those feelings don't just go away when you decide to ignore them, and they will come out in one way or another.
They're gone. Dont know how. Dont know why. I still can feel love for someone or sadness at the thought of a relative dying. But all the other emotions are dampened or gone: remorse, guilt, most of my anger, attachment, fear, embarrassment for the most part
This doesn't concern you yet?
Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation.
FOTS said:They're gone. Dont know how. Dont know why. I still can feel love for someone or sadness at the thought of a relative dying. But all the other emotions are dampened or gone: remorse, guilt, most of my anger, attachment, fear, embarrassment for the most part
That's essentially how I am describing it. I'm not choosing to ignore them, I didn't choose it. They disappeared. It just happened over time as I got worse and worse in regards to my mental health.
Turncoat said:Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation.
I didn't try to numb myself, I became numb.
FOTS said:They're gone. Dont know how. Dont know why. I still can feel love for someone or sadness at the thought of a relative dying. But all the other emotions are dampened or gone: remorse, guilt, most of my anger, attachment, fear, embarrassment for the most partThat's essentially how I am describing it. I'm not choosing to ignore them, I didn't choose it. It just happened over time as I got worse and worse in regards to my mental health.
The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.
How are you supposed to feel anything if you keep yourself all cloistered up and distant?
Turncoat said:Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation.I didn't try to numb myself, I became numb.
So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?
Turncoat said:How are you supposed to feel anything if you keep yourself all cloistered up and distant?
I can't see anything that emotionally challenges me. I thought for sure seeing the corpse of someone I once loved so much would affect me and it didn't, I went in, saw her body, walked out, came home and just did what I normally do.
Turncoat said:So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?
I don't consider it hopeless, I'm indifferent. I'm not actively seeking to feel again, I'm fine the way I am. Maybe some part of me considers the concept of feeling again, but for the most part. I'm fine with the way I am.
Me going to see a childhood friend and crush gone, was me experimenting if I would feel something, and I didn't.
Turncoat said:How are you supposed to feel anything if you keep yourself all cloistered up and distant?I can't see anything that emotionally challenges me.
What don't you feel comfortable doing, socially?
You wouldn't be such a short circuit risk if you weren't maladjusted there.
I thought for sure seeing the corpse of someone I once loved so much would affect me and it didn't, I went in, saw her body, walked out, came home and just did what I normally do.
It's not like everyone has the same triggers, and it's not like I'm suggesting that there's a cure hiding behind some jump scares.
There's clearly some stuff from this "past you" that you don't feel comfortable handling, and as long as you can't handle that side of you you'll also find your feelings that much more distant.
My interests in the realm of feeling are only experiments on what I can do, and if there's anyway I could effectively master looking normal to others. I think I do a pretty good job already since I seem to be able to help people with their stress and I can predict the issues they are feeling. Even if I don't necessarily actually care for their well-being, and they are merely a test subject for my own abilities.
Turncoat said:What don't you feel comfortable doing, socially?
I'm fine with most things? I mean I don't think I'd run around in public naked, I guess I wouldn't be comfortable with that? I can sit down with people and talk, I can go anywhere and do anything I guess? There's nothing that comes to mind that would make me feel scared.
Turncoat said:There's clearly some stuff from this "past you" that you don't feel comfortable handling, and as long as you can't handle that side of you you'll also find your feelings that much more distant.
If there is, I'm not currently aware of it. Perhaps it could be not wanting to go see my dad's side of the family mainly because I barely recognize any of them? It doesn't make me scared, I just don't want to have to try to remember faces, and I've gone a few times to their side events anyway just fine, so I could do it again.
