Sociopath Community

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

 You must not know me very well then

I don't. 

What have you tried this far in? 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

The ladies are quite distracting for you, huh?

In regards to some decadent thoughts yes, but it doesn't only apply to ladies, I just don't see many feminine males in my area.

It's more about what breeding triggers happen towards the brain. 

We live in a hypersexualized time where we focus on hacking those areas. 

Turncoat said:

Why can your dreams only be gigantic?

I mean, they don't have to be? It just so happens that they are. 

If you haven't had smaller dreams, how can you say that they don't have to be? 

Are you a "Go Big Or Go Home" type? 

Turncoat said:

What makes it "hip to be square"?

I guess because I stand outside the box, I aspire to be a figure for the people. 

What does it mean to you to be "outside the box"? 

Turncoat said:

Why is it so important for you that others look up to you or otherwise appreciate your company?

This keeps being a theme. Do you only feel a sense of accomplishment through others patting you on the back?

It's not entirely important, it's just noteworthy, and no I can see my own accomplishments without others around. 

"This keeps being a theme."

Turncoat said:

Me too, you're clearly not, but the fact that you've held onto them saying it means that their claims have weight to you.

 I only bring it up as it's interesting. It doesn't offend me in anyway, I find it hilarious. 

I don't believe you. 

How often is something said just because "it's interesting"? Nothing is ever so un-nuanced, there's also why it was interesting to the one authoring it. 

Turncoat said:

So why not integrate some of it into your daily habits?

I mean I guess I kind of do?

What weird stuff do you let bleed into the script? 

Turncoat said:

It's only about your presentation, but it's jarring to see that how you're displaying yourself is similar to how you see yourself.

Not entirely. I present myself as more feeling than I am.

That's a load of crap. 

Turncoat said:

You really hold those you've spoken with about these things in high esteem over the fact that they are keepers of the secret, huh?

Only 2 of them know about the one I'm uncomfortable with, and a few only know about the one I am more comfortable with.

What makes these things worth keeping a secret? 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

 You must not know me very well then

I don't. 

What have you tried this far in? 

 Eh, that's a loaded question. It's easier to say that part of my personality is constant work on making myself a better person.  I also have a hobby of wandering terrain, I guess that's the best way to put it. I hate being in the same place for too long, so I explore new areas constantly: I'm talking about forests, abandoned properties (industrial), quarries etc.  I never go back to the same place twice after I've seen all of it. Unless it still has more to offer to me. I especially like walking down train tracks, 35 miles down the line is my limit for a day

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

 You must not know me very well then

I don't. 

What have you tried this far in? 

Eh, that's a loaded question.

In comparison to myself, I'd disagree. It shouldn't be too hard to list what you do to challenge yourself, assuming you even do. 

It's easier to say that part of my personality is constant work on making myself a better person.  I also have a hobby of wandering terrain, I guess that's the best way to put it. I hate being in the same place for too long, so I explore new areas constantly: I'm talking about forests, abandoned properties (industrial), quarries etc. 

How passive. How do you expect to awaken your feelings when you're doing soloist stuff? 

The best mainstream comparison I have is watching a movie alone versus watching a movie with a good friend. Unless the film is unusually cerebral (like Requiem for a Dream), it's easier to be an empty robot merely absorbing data by yourself than it is when the pressure of someone watching you is there. 

I never go back to the same place twice after I've seen all of it. Unless it still has more to offer to me. I especially like walking down train tracks, 35 miles down the line is my limit for a day

That sounds tranquil, like the perfect escape. 

Is it really such a mystery to you why shit feels numb? It's sounding self-inflicted. 

Turncoat said:

It's more about what breeding triggers happen towards the brain.

We live in a hypersexualized time where we focus on hacking those areas.

 Well, I'm aware, I still like to maintain some control in this area. 

Turncoat said:

If you haven't had smaller dreams, how can you say that they don't have to be?

Are you a "Go Big Or Go Home" type?

 I guess I am, but my dreams I consider important, if I had a smaller dream, it would've been wanting to be a game developer, but that is gone and replaced by my vision which I consider to be the most important thing to me. 

Turncoat said:

What does it mean to you to be "outside the box"?

 I aspire to be the likes of Trajan, Caesar, Napoleon, Stalin, Dzerzhinsky, Ulbricht, Che, Sankara, and more.

It's the only way in my mind to achieve my dream. 

Turncoat said:

"This keeps being a theme."

 Perhaps it's a theme because I want to be a leader, so naturally it comes into mind.

Turncoat said:

I don't believe you.

How often is something said just because "it's interesting"? Nothing is ever so un-nuanced, there's also why it was interesting to the one authoring it.

 Perhaps it's an brought up, because I feel like to an extent it gives me power that someone would revere me as such a thing.

Turncoat said:

What weird stuff do you let bleed into the script?

 I guess some of the morbid humor I keep to myself can slip at times.

Turncoat said:

That's a load of crap.

 So, which is it, am I feeling or am I disconnected from my feeling? You tell me to try to feel, but when I tell you I put on a facade of sympathy to others via imitating what others have said and done, it's a load of crap. 

Turncoat said:

What makes these things worth keeping a secret?

 My reputation. Do people really want to know that I'm some guy that caught mice and killed them, especially stabbing a big ass one to death because it was resisting too much or that I stomped on a toad and grinded it into a bloody pulp on the bark of a tree and that I get nostalgic euphoria thinking about the control I had over the life of said mouse. Or should I speak on my darker thoughts that I consider a plague and how disgusting that would make me look. 


I'd much prefer to direct said fantasies and thoughts upon those I despise. 

Sintetika said: 

Do people really want to know that I'm some guy that caught mice and killed them, especially stabbing a big ass one to death because it was resisting too much or that I stomped on a toad and grinded it into a bloody pulp on the bark of a tree and that I get nostalgic euphoria thinking about the control I had over the life of said mouse. Or should I speak on my darker thoughts that I consider a plague and how disgusting that would make me look. 

Sure. 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

 You must not know me very well then

I don't. 

What have you tried this far in? 

Eh, that's a loaded question.

In comparison to myself, I'd disagree. It shouldn't be too hard to list what you do to challenge yourself, assuming you even do. 

It's easier to say that part of my personality is constant work on making myself a better person.  I also have a hobby of wandering terrain, I guess that's the best way to put it. I hate being in the same place for too long, so I explore new areas constantly: I'm talking about forests, abandoned properties (industrial), quarries etc. 

How passive. How do you expect to awaken your feelings when you're doing soloist stuff? 

The best mainstream comparison I have is watching a movie alone versus watching a movie with a good friend. Unless the film is unusually cerebral (like Requiem for a Dream), it's easier to be an empty robot merely absorbing data by yourself than it is when the pressure of someone watching you is there. 

I never go back to the same place twice after I've seen all of it. Unless it still has more to offer to me. I especially like walking down train tracks, 35 miles down the line is my limit for a day

That sounds tranquil, like the perfect escape. 

Is it really such a mystery to you why shit feels numb? It's sounding self-inflicted. 

 It's hard to list because it's a long list

I tried doing non-solo stuff but it didn't help rid the numbness. I like the numbness anyway so I went back to soloist stuff because it .is. so tranquil

Yes, that perfect escape of tranquillity is part of the reason for the numbness. Inner peace was a goal of mine back in 2012, I achieved that in early 2018. Self-inflicted only describes half the picture. Although it could be the initial cause of my sociopathy. I meditated for a few years targetting emotion suppression and control over the hormones that cause fear, butterflies, anxiety and happiness: triggering them in selected parts of the body as a test of if it was possible. It is. Then I went too far with the suppression to see if it was possible to forge yourself into a sociopath. Now I think somehow I actually have and I have no issue with it. I did this all to gain perspective: to understand someone's motivation you must get into their mindset and perspective. It's a goal of mine to understand everyone's motivations and perspectives as part of my journey to learn everything that I possibly can in my lifetime

How bad were feelings for you before you felt the need to detach like that FOTS?

Turncoat said: 

How bad were feelings for you before you felt the need to detach like that FOTS?

 Not bad at all.  I did it as an experiment, out of curiosity.  Could be an example of external environment dictating developmental patterns.  Not saying its all due to the meditation techniques, its hard to know for sure.  Could be that i am ASPD but it didnt surface until later when my brain was more developed: which is how it happens.  Or I discovered a way to intentionally induce symptoms, possibly irreversibly.  

So you're saying you did it to yourself? 

What's the point?