Sociopath Community

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I try not to do that openly, but it is under stimulating. Sex has become vapid, meaningless and boring to me for ex.

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?

I don't consider it hopeless, I'm indifferent. I'm not actively seeking to feel again, I'm fine the way I am. Maybe some part of me considers the concept of feeling again, but for the most part. I'm fine with the way I am.


Me going to see a childhood friend and crush gone, was me experimenting if I would feel something, and I didn't. 

What new things have you tried to spark your feelings? 

Sintetika said: 

My interests in the realm of feeling are only experiments on what I can do, and if there's anyway I could effectively master looking normal to others.

What's with the American Psycho motif here? 

What do you expect would happen if people saw you as 'abnormal'? Do you expect to be put in the funny farm if you behave a little too honestly? 

I think I do a pretty good job already since I seem to be able to help people with their stress and I can predict the issues they are feeling. Even if I don't necessarily actually care for their well-being, and they are merely a test subject for my own abilities. 

You're a right proper robot, forgettable and bland with plenty of rants to talk our ears off, but if you want to do the whole human being thing then there's a lot of work to be done. 

How do you tend to respond towards those you've trusted enough to tell deep dark secrets about yourself? 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?

 I don't consider it hopeless, I'm indifferent. I'm not actively seeking to feel again, I'm fine the way I am. Maybe some part of me considers the concept of feeling again, but for the most part. I'm fine with the way I am.


Me going to see a childhood friend and crush gone, was me experimenting if I would feel something, and I didn't. 

 I'm concerned that you haven't tried because feeling is the easiest way to function normally in a "society" (I hate that word) it's easier to be normal than to imitate it. Many sociopaths go this route

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

I try not to do that openly, but it is under stimulating. Sex has become vapid, meaningless and boring to me for ex.

I felt the same way, but after trying enough things and becoming more confident with myself I saw my feelings come back. 

Fixing my sleep schedule (relatively speaking) and some dietary adjustments helped with a lot of it too. 

I've otherwise found that feelings come from allowing investment to form. Time and experience has a way of gluing people together, even if merely over the comforts one finds in the familiar. 

FOTS said: 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?

 I don't consider it hopeless, I'm indifferent. I'm not actively seeking to feel again, I'm fine the way I am. Maybe some part of me considers the concept of feeling again, but for the most part. I'm fine with the way I am.


Me going to see a childhood friend and crush gone, was me experimenting if I would feel something, and I didn't. 

 I'm concerned that you haven't tried because feeling is the easiest way to function normally in a "society" (I hate that word) it's easier to be normal than to imitate it. Many sociopaths go this route

I've in my years found it easier to just tell people about my quirks in advance. Keeping up a public identity is otherwise way too much work. 

It's easier to be weird than to feel constantly watched. 

Turncoat said:

What new things have you tried to spark your feelings?

 Well currently, been hanging out with a girl that I find interesting, going to try to go on a date with her, since she seems insecure and wants to find love, and I've been trying to cheer her up. 

I already know some things that sparks my feelings like my grand dream for humanity, as well as my hatred for pedophiles and the scum of the earth that I fantasize about either killing or converting to servitors. 

Turncoat said:

What's with the American Psycho motif here?

 I don't know, though I did watch that for the first time a few months ago, I did enjoy it.

Turncoat said:

What do you expect would happen if people saw you as 'abnormal'? Do you expect to be put in the funny farm if you behave a little too honestly?

 No, not really some people see me as crazy but in a good way, my online friends know more of the truth of my behavior than real life, and my online friends, well one of them looked up to me because he was emotionally unstable and I was "strong and cold hearted and could fuck over anyone without a care" and apparently to him that was inspiring, I didn't really care.

Some people of the past online view me as a psychopath and are against me, I reject such claims. 

In regards to real life, Idk I don't think I'd be sent straight to the loony bin, I put off a very silly act anyway, so maybe they'd view it like that. 

Turncoat said:

You're a right proper robot, forgettable and bland with plenty of rants to talk our ears off, but if you want to do the whole human being thing then there's a lot of work to be done.

 Perhaps to you, but others tend to find me interesting and enjoy talking to me. 

Turncoat said:

How do you tend to respond towards those you've trusted enough to tell deep dark secrets about yourself?

 Those I trust enough to tell about them understand and don't necessarily judge me, but I don't vent about it, only to one I've vented kind of and I've stopped, because I see no point. I especially dislike the dark one I've mentioned before, I guess you could say I'm uncomfortable speaking about that. 

FOTS said: 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

So, what, you figure it's hopeless or something then?

 I don't consider it hopeless, I'm indifferent. I'm not actively seeking to feel again, I'm fine the way I am. Maybe some part of me considers the concept of feeling again, but for the most part. I'm fine with the way I am.


Me going to see a childhood friend and crush gone, was me experimenting if I would feel something, and I didn't. 

 I'm concerned that you haven't tried because feeling is the easiest way to function normally in a "society" (I hate that word) it's easier to be normal than to imitate it. Many sociopaths go this route

 Well, I guess I seek to feel the pleasure I get from some of my impulsive behaviors of the past, but I think I fit in pretty normal already. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

What new things have you tried to spark your feelings?

Well currently, been hanging out with a girl that I find interesting, going to try to go on a date with her, since she seems insecure and wants to find love, and I've been trying to cheer her up. 

The ladies are quite distracting for you, huh? 

I already know some things that sparks my feelings like my grand dream for humanity, as well as my hatred for pedophiles and the scum of the earth that I fantasize about either killing or converting to servitors. 

Why can your dreams only be gigantic? 

Turncoat said:

What's with the American Psycho motif here?

 I don't know, though I did watch that for the first time a few months ago, I did enjoy it.

I guess I'm asking, like...

What makes it "hip to be square"? 

Turncoat said:

What do you expect would happen if people saw you as 'abnormal'? Do you expect to be put in the funny farm if you behave a little too honestly?

No, not really some people see me as crazy but in a good way, my online friends know more of the truth of my behavior than real life, and my online friends, well one of them looked up to me because he was emotionally unstable and I was "strong and cold hearted and could fuck over anyone without a care" and apparently to him that was inspiring, I didn't really care.

Why is it so important for you that others look up to you or otherwise appreciate your company? 

This keeps being a theme. Do you only feel a sense of accomplishment through others patting you on the back? 

Some people of the past online view me as a psychopath and are against me, I reject such claims. 

Me too, you're clearly not, but the fact that you've held onto them saying it means that their claims have weight to you. 

In regards to real life, Idk I don't think I'd be sent straight to the loony bin, I put off a very silly act anyway, so maybe they'd view it like that. 

So why not integrate some of it into your daily habits? 

Being "normal" really means being insecure. 

Turncoat said:

You're a right proper robot, forgettable and bland with plenty of rants to talk our ears off, but if you want to do the whole human being thing then there's a lot of work to be done.

 Perhaps to you, but others tend to find me interesting and enjoy talking to me. 

It's only about your presentation, but it's jarring to see that how you're displaying yourself is similar to how you see yourself. 

Turncoat said:

How do you tend to respond towards those you've trusted enough to tell deep dark secrets about yourself?

Those I trust enough to tell about them understand and don't necessarily judge me, but I don't vent about it, only to one I've vented kind of and I've stopped, because I see no point. I especially dislike the dark one I've mentioned before, I guess you could say I'm uncomfortable speaking about that. 

You really hold those you've spoken with about these things in high esteem over the fact that they are keepers of the secret, huh? 

Turncoat said:

The ladies are quite distracting for you, huh?

 In regards to some decadent thoughts yes, but it doesn't only apply to ladies, I just don't see many feminine males in my area.

Turncoat said:

Why can your dreams only be gigantic?

 I mean, they don't have to be? It just so happens that they are. 

Turncoat said:

What makes it "hip to be square"?

 I guess because I stand outside the box, I aspire to be a figure for the people. 

Turncoat said:

Why is it so important for you that others look up to you or otherwise appreciate your company?

This keeps being a theme. Do you only feel a sense of accomplishment through others patting you on the back?

 It's not entirely important, it's just noteworthy, and no I can see my own accomplishments without others around. 

Turncoat said:

Me too, you're clearly not, but the fact that you've held onto them saying it means that their claims have weight to you.

 I only bring it up as it's interesting. It doesn't offend me in anyway, I find it hilarious. 

Turncoat said:

So why not integrate some of it into your daily habits?

 I mean I guess I kind of do?

Turncoat said:

It's only about your presentation, but it's jarring to see that how you're displaying yourself is similar to how you see yourself.

Not entirely. I present myself as more feeling than I am.

 

Turncoat said:

You really hold those you've spoken with about these things in high esteem over the fact that they are keepers of the secret, huh?

 Only 2 of them know about the one I'm uncomfortable with, and a few only know about the one I am more comfortable with.

Turncoat said: 

FOTS said: 

This doesn't concern you yet?

Almost everyone who tries to numb themselves ends up complaining of the understimulation

 I didn't do this on purpose, it just happened over time.

The key to getting them back is to throw yourself into areas that emotionally challenge it.

 I tried this but it just doesn't work

What have you tried so far? 

You don't strike me as one who really challenges themselves with new experiences beyond the mundane. 

 You must not know me very well then