You're asexual? That's cool.
Turncoat stated: source post
ThenFuckit stated: source post
Turncoat
"I don't care". This is what I tell people, but this is more for me than it is for them. I'm stubborn, slow to adjust, humble, and believe myself as more dangerous than I am from past fears. My anger is my enemy, but rather than face it head on I store it in a box and walk away from the source of it in favor of newer, better things. I have a set idea of what works and doesn't work, and while I'm unlikely to change my viewpoint I am open to having it challenged by those I respect, by those willing to go as far as I am in the discussion. What works for me works for me, but somehow what they're doing works for them too, and this makes me curious.
I form my opinions on people quickly through impression and hold onto those views hard. I'll defend those I like and whimsically attack those I don't, but I don't plan on investing too much into it beyond the minimum amount required to laugh at it. Investment is too much for me, for that is a gateway for anger to spring, so I choose to keep my distance while slowly allowing those around me to grow on me. I respect intelligence, how one writes, the strength they carry behind their words, and consistency, and my strong suit for discussion lies within history and assessment. What appears as a lack of dimensions in some areas is somewhat that, but it's mostly me holding myself back instead of letting myself be put out there, as that'd risk letting someone get to me in a way that I'm not ready for.
I need to be ready for anything I'm facing, otherwise I'd prefer to not face it at all. That doesn't mean I won't, but I'm not going to do something I don't enjoy if I don't have to.
Neat. The only thing i would argue is that i do not keep my anger boxed at all, i release it and then i keep away from the source so i don't get angry again. I think the way people are in general piss me off thought, maybe thats from where i have constant frustration from.
ImNotHer stated: source post
The last correction I want to make is keeping people at arms length. I used to think it was from lack of trust and general self absorption, but that isn't halways the case. Though people are my favorite puzzles they can easily overwhelm my senses. Touch can feel like fire. Voices can bang against my ears like a car crashing. Eyes can feel intrusive. And because I have to intellectually process everything to understand what I should be doing and saying, and whether or not it looks natural or robotic, people can be a huge energy drain. I don't like to be touched unless on my terms and I don't enjoy small talk. I understand people through patterns. Patterns help me navigate what I can expect from them as I have put myself in danger in the past because of naivety, curiosity, and a lack of trusting my own judgment. But I also have trouble getting close to people because what I need from them in order to be fulfilled is very practical by nature, and can be detrimental to a relationship when something more profound is needed from me. I know how robotic that must sound, and dreadfully boring, but it's a truth about me I've had to face now that all the stress and distractions of life in America has been removed.
Interesting, as i can relate to this. I do not know if there are even any corrections to insert if it was to apply to me. Maybe the intensity of my exhaustion is not so strong, but this might be because i have learned to not give a fuck for most daily activities.
Lately i have figured that i overthink things, but i do not even know how not to. I have some ideas about this, but it needs more testing.