Although logical... I would hate to be able to not get some Kinks. You Really Got Me!
Pachuco stated: source post
"The pain itself is physical, and while active in my case, the muscle itself is conditioned. As I described, the knot in my back. It's really there."
did you ever injure your back or did it just come outta nowhere?
You asked the right question. And because I have so much to say I wrote a lot.
It started with a progressive injury at the end of my 2nd long term relationship. Aside from that I've been exposed to verbal abuse.
I'll mention, I never lost the usage of that muscle, I can lift and do anything the same. The knot doesn't interfere at all maybe because it's outnumbered by surrounding muscles, and I believe that knot muscle is also the most flexible, despite it going from firm to tender in a random sense.
1. The foundation of the knot itself. I got the injury from stretching. At the time I was practicing stretching, and when I was more rested, I would relax by laying on my left side while propped up on my left elbow. This one time I stayed in that position for several hours watching movies, and that when the pain itself started.
straightening my torso made it a bit painful as though the prolonged position reset my neutral muscular positions. I thought it would go away but it got worse over the years.
2. The fusion of though and physical pain. My emotions became tied to it, when suffering from heartbreak. My off and on ex does it again in my late 20's. The heartbreak was as I described it in the above post, and it struck me every waking minute for a consecutive 8 months.
The pain of heartbreak and the knot, from front to back were/are 2 areas under attack in neighboring regions of the body. The nerves in those areas were telling my brain it hurts, while whenever I thought about it, my brain would process it and the nerves would again send feedback. It really is important to clear quiet the mind while the trauma gets really unbearable.
When I got over it, she returned only to do it again down the road, and the cycle repeated, only this time it never lasted as long. By this time, the heartbreak was sharp.
Another does on heartbreak came along. A disappointment heartbreak, I was so not interested in sustaining more trauma, and I pretty much had to tell my own ego, or whatever it was to fuck off, I don't want it. And I got better real quick.
The pain doesn't just trigger for myself, but it triggers for others within proximity. For instance everything was okay while hanging out with someone I'm close to. I don't really trust this person, but we go way back so we get along. I do feel the pain mildly when around some people, including him. Then this guy goes on to show me a picture of a girl he's having an affair with. I personally never condoned it cause I hate cheating for obvious reasons, but my back just started kicking my ass the instant he started telling me about it.
The interesting this is, I don't really care if he's cheating, and while I'm not around this person I don't lose sleep or think about it, and because his bad habit already got my stabbed by my emotional and physical perceptions, I'm motivated to not give a rats ass. Like I really don't.
I can't stand stupid people who make up their minds and debate it. They irritate my bullshit metre. I firmly see the difference between morality and immorality. The knot is being driven for moral reasons, even though what I have to say about stupid people is meant to be insulting, it would please me to see them smarten up.
kinda tangential but i seen this thing about a guy who got bit by a snake and had his leg amputated, but he still had a reflex to kick his mental leg when he stepped on a stick or whatever. they call it phantom pain i think
That sounds more interesting than people simply feeling like their amputated parts are still there. My case is a rewiring of nerves that bridges bad thoughts with pain, but that guy. I'm going to have to read more about that. I believe it in advance, cause for me it goes beyond faith that this state of being is temporary, and when this life is over, we'll be around to review it.
i get a weird burning in my head when i hear this one particular song that i strongly associate with somethin. actually made me total my car on the I80 once. laughed it off as me bein a russian sleeper cell or somethin, but now im thinking its psychogenic pain
What emotion did you experience with that ? You never wanted to mention what it was you associate it with either. Related to some type of trauma maybe ? So far we know psychogenic pain comes from either physical and verbal abuse.
"I'd either have to blow up in a violent rage or die"
no option C?
To be honest, that was B and C. Option A was to evacuate. Just leave her and the car, several kilometers away from home, and start a quest to make my way back, by walking, or taxi, or calling someone or whatever.
The rest of the venture that day was a bit off too, cause when we got there, we went to some beach lot owned by a friend of a friend of hers, and we ended up changing in some guys house, and he seemed as though he knew he was being used, and I felt awkward cause I felt like we were using this guy, then we ditched him to go chill by the beach, and my back was beeping like crazy over her shit, then we got high and smoked some weed, and weed intensifies my bullshit meter so hard while it's triggered, people have asked if I needed an ambulance. I can tell her about her shit, and she will say well I guess you're right, but never believe my sensations were real.
Chapo stated: source post
Pretty sure girls feel their emotions in their vagina. Hope this helps.
nah. that bell was never gonna go un-rung
"It started with a progressive injury at the end of my 2nd long term relationship."
thats interesting timing, kinda makes sense why the neurons might get tangled there
do you think havin that physical reminder in your shoulder makes you more tentative these days?
"The knot is being driven for moral reasons"
not emotional reasons?
RE: snake bite guy, i cant remember where i read that particular case, but theres some stuff on wikipedia about tactile hallucinations in phantom limb people https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tactile_hallucination
"What emotion did you experience with that ? You never wanted to mention what it was you associate it with either. Related to some type of trauma maybe ?"
not sure what emotion. guess a mix of anger/sadness. and yeah, i associate it with somethin traumatic
Why didn't you just leave though? You didn't even have to be mean about it, you coulda just come up w some emergency, got someone to call you or whatever. I hope you've cut her and similar people out of your life now.
I know your prob w your back has a psychological cause, which I'm not disputing, but if it's a genuine physical pain then a sports massage or some physio, or even a consultation w a trainer about some workouts, could help a lot.
Such pragmatism, pointing out the potential for the joke whilst simultaneously implying that you're better than the joke. That's called a shot to nothing.