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by anastacia

Having issues related to a parent isn't the same as being sexually aroused by them or seeking a substitute of the romantic nature.  

How this conversation started:

 

by White Oleander

"I don't know why I am so compelled by to feed this combative, aggressive streak by tearing people down."

"I do. Your sadism is a manifestation of a deeply rooted desire to hurt your father- over and over and over again..."

 Then I brought up the sexual context and how her sadism in bed related to that same "desire to hurt her father". Her husband being the substitute. I just said that being a substitute isn't smth I'd want. I dont see anything that doesn't follow logic here...

 

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Having issues related to a parent isn't the same as being sexually aroused by them or seeking a substitute of the romantic nature. As far as I know no one has perfect parents. Issues and hangups are going to be there whether you're aware of it or not. If you're with a girl that continually blows your mind in bed then chances are, she's got daddy issues. 

 

 

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Goddam plagiarist.

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Great artist.

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Lycan:

"Boing"

Pull up a chair, crack a cold one (dead bodies in the chiller) and sit back and enjoy..I dont recomend hand -feeding the sharks though. Poor lefty..

 

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someone got their breasts removed? cancer? TK?

here's one from the old forum

"I guess the reason your father dressed you up like your mum before he fucked you is because he wanted you to look younger."

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by White Oleander

 

by Piles the Beaver

Anyone who is happily married, and proud to be married, wouldn't feel the need to belittle another for their choice of lifestyles. Just because you happened to shack up with someone who puts up with you doesn't mean that the single man or woman who is rummaging through interactions is lesser of a person. Get off your pedestal woman. It is only standing from delusions anyway. In reality you are on the same level as everyone else.

 

It wasn't really my intention to belittle Ed's lifestyle (ok, maybe just to take a little poke) - but to undermine his erroneous assumptions. As Ana elucidated, pathologies stemming from dysfunctional parenting tend to spill into many areas of a person's life. They are frequently unconscious.

Ed, I'll sheath my claws and give you a proper explanation. I think you misunderstand me. The kind of role-playing you assumed I was into turns me right off, and I've never liked gore. (I am very particular, and while sexualized violence is somewhat of a fetish for me, I like things... clean.) 

My marriage is good, but my husband always calling me on my shit = our fighting a great deal. He knocks me off my pedestal frequently, and is better at doing so than anyone I have ever known. I actually love him for it. I need someone to challenge me. :p

At any rate, marriage definitely isn't for everyone, but what I said to Ed is technically true. When you know a person very well, and you are as experimental as we are... The sex gets better and better. It just does. Maybe one can reach those heights with occasional partners, but in my own personal experience, there is no comparison- especially with regard to s/m, and edgeplay in particular- where an intimate knowledge of one's partner really serves to enhance the act, because of the mutual trust required. Awkwardness is so far removed from our equation at this point, given our history, that this assertion struck me as ridiculous, and born of inexperience.

 

 No need to sheath your claws, I can take you :D

It must be nice to get to know a person so well, in a way. I don't doubt that. But one person is just that...everyone gets predictable at some point. Trust itself is a result/proof of predictability. You know that person is not going to hurt you past a certain point.

As far as "being dominated" goes, I could never get that edge with someone I knew well enough. I always end up dominating in more "stable relationships" and I can't take "being dominated roleplay" seriously enough. The one night stands with strangers whose sanity I didn't know much about have been the most thrilling, in my experience.

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It must be nice to get to know a person so well, in a way. I don't doubt that. But one person is just that...everyone gets predictable at some point. Trust itself is a result/proof of predictability. You know that person is not going to hurt you past a certain point.

As far as "being dominated" goes, I could never get that edge with someone I knew well enough. I always end up dominating in more "stable relationships" and I can't take "being dominated roleplay" seriously enough. The one night stands with strangers whose sanity I didn't know much about have been the most thrilling, in my experience.

Two points that are very true in accordance with my own experience (yeah, okay, so I'm twenty-three-years-old, but I do have some experience in these matters) and observations.

I saw my father compete with his sister for - well, all of my life. My father was a psychopath who had been diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder whilst serving time in Long Bay (Sydney's maximum security prison) for murder. The word "psychopath" wasn't considered a "real" diagnosis but the words "psychopath" and "psychopathic tendencies" were thrown around a lot in the Department of Corrections file that I accessed after his death. My aunt, however, had at least four murders under her belt, but because no one ever found her DNA on any of the bodies (she didn't commit the murders herself: she enticed other people to do them for her) she was never convicted of any of them. If she had had a rap sheet it would've included fraud and embezzlement (she nearly got caught for that one but convinced her husband to take the rap for her). Like most male psychopaths who're eventually caught, my father's crimes were more likely to be violent and to include acts of extortion.

Actually, now that I've written this, I see that my analogy is far from perfect, given that my aunt ALWAYS had the upper hand on my father. However, it is pertinent to note that, at least within families, two psychopaths in competition will never walk away from their conflict. I'm not sure if my father realized that he was never going to win, but my aunt sure as hell did. Unlike Edvard, my aunt seemed to get off on my father's repeated attempts to outsmart her, though that could've been just because she found them so damned amusing.

...Actually, maybe my analogy's not as far off the mark as I had initially thought. Edvard essentially said that he'd get bored if he found someone with whom he could easily outsmart. Clearly, my father always believed that he could outsmart his sister. Being a psychopath, he wouldn't have been able to recognize that that was, in fact, impossible.

HashtagSociopathCommunityRevelations.

 

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by Helena

Two points that are very true in accordance with my own experience (yeah, okay, so I'm twenty-three-years-old, but I do have some experience in these matters) and observations.

I saw my father compete with his sister for - well, all of my life. My father was a psychopath who had been diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder whilst serving time in Long Bay (Sydney's maximum security prison) for murder. The word "psychopath" wasn't considered a "real" diagnosis but the words "psychopath" and "psychopathic tendencies" were thrown around a lot in the Department of Corrections file that I accessed after his death. My aunt, however, had at least four murders under her belt, but because no one ever found her DNA on any of the bodies (she didn't commit the murders herself: she enticed other people to do them for her) she was never convicted of any of them. If she had had a rap sheet it would've included fraud and embezzlement (she nearly got caught for that one but convinced her husband to take the rap for her). Like most male psychopaths who're eventually caught, my father's crimes were more likely to be violent and to include acts of extortion.

Actually, now that I've written this, I see that my analogy is far from perfect, given that my aunt ALWAYS had the upper hand on my father. However, it is pertinent to note that, at least within families, two psychopaths in competition will never walk away from their conflict. I'm not sure if my father realized that he was never going to win, but my aunt sure as hell did. Unlike Edvard, my aunt seemed to get off on my father's repeated attempts to outsmart her, though that could've been just because she found them so damned amusing.

...Actually, maybe my analogy's not as far off the mark as I had initially thought. Edvard essentially said that he'd get bored if he found someone with whom he could easily outsmart. Clearly, my father always believed that he could outsmart his sister. Being a psychopath, he wouldn't have been able to recognize that that was, in fact, impossible.

HashtagSociopathCommunityRevelations.

 

Haha...well, first off I'm not a psychopath. And I was talking strictly about sexual s/m roleplay in my post, in the context of long time partners vs new ones. Making yourself vulnerable to someone you trust isn't as thrilling, because they are predictable. That's why you trust them in the first place.

I do like trust in relationships, and I'm not constantly trying to outsmart the person I'm with like other people here describe.

 

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But enough about me... I'm thinking of putting you in the spotlight a bit. As a self confesed narc I hope you won't mind :D

I asked you this pretty early on:

by Helena

"I have to ask, are you Selena from the old forum?"

I never posted on the old forum, so no, I'm not - I just observed. This place is quite interesting. As well as your usual internet trolls and idiots, there are genuinely intelligent people here. It's a rare occurrence to find a place like this on the internet. However, I'm still trying to figure out who the old players are - some of them are obvious, but others are more difficult to identify, as I never had any contact with them.

I wonder what you have to hide, or who you have to hide from. I know you're Selena from the old forum, because you were among the posters I used to pay attention to. I noticed back then that you'd often delete your accounts and posts. You used to talk about gymnastics, yoga, med school, martial arts,

 

by Selena on the old forum


I did gymnastics for ten years, five of those years at the elite level. Dabbled in Martial Arts. Currently too busy to train on a constant level (studying to get into medical school), but I love resistance training and yoga and practice both three times a week. I'm hoping to get back into gymnastics if med school doesn't work out. I've messed up my sciatic nerve at the moment though, so I can't train at all, which is annoying the shit out of me.

 your good looks and feminine ways

 

by Selena on the old forum
When I was fourteen-years-old, my father advised me that the only way I'd ever achieve success (by which he meant dominance) in a network of females would be to appeal to the mother figure of the group. He said this shizzle based on the fact that I was starting to develop the physical characteristics typical of the women in his family line: characteristics that identify women as potential threats to the insecure (men and women). I listened to him, because he was correct more often than he was incorrect, and thus far this technique has always been beneficial to me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         So, naturally, when I was began working in an office with a disproportionate number of female employees, I immediately attached myself to the mother figure. I've relied upon this technique for eleven years now; it's easy when you've got wide green eyes, waist-length brunette hair and your 35-25-35 figure is both concealed and exacerbated by the wearing of feminine dresses that cling to the chest and the waist and float down to the knees. I realize that in five years or so, I'll be fucked if I don't come up with another strategy, but this is all I've got right now and I'm going to make the most of it.                                                                                                                                                                 My father also reiterated to me the dangers of underestimating one's opponents, and so it never occurred to me that one could OVERestimate one's opponents, too. But it turns out that I did. In approaching the head of another department to see if I could score a job for my fiance, she was very receptive to the idea but suggested that I plant the idea in our GM's head. Because apparently, I'm the GM's favourite. That came as a huge shock to me. I had absolutely no idea. Our GM doesn't strike me as a mother figure, and so I immediately rejected the idea of appealing to her on an intimate basis. Some discrete questioning, however, revealed that this favourtism has been monstrously obvious to everyone but me for months now. It strikes me as ironic - all my life, I've been fascinated by power dynamics. My undergraduate social science courses were heavily based on power dynamics, and I was never awarded a score less than an A for my interpretations of power dynamics. I suppose I allowed myself to become arrogant and complacent - an absolutely terrible combination for someone who relies so heavily upon interpretations of power. Hopefully it's not too late for me to benefit from this  revelation.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I guess there's a message to all of this - don't underestimate people, but don't overestimate them, either. Both mistakes are about equally deleterious....And my fiance's getting that job now.

 and your psychopathic father (a whole fucking lot about your father! How he spent years in jail for attacking someone, and that episode when you attacked him) just like you do now, it's like you're not trying to hide your identity at all. Hell, you even chose "Helena" as your username.

Posts on this forum that prove you're Selena:

 

by Helena

Oh, thank fuck: finally a chance to talk about myself. I got so excited at the title of this thread that I didn't even bother watching the video.

Between the ages of thirteen and fifteen, my old man beat the shit out of me. Then I asked him to teach me to fight, a request to which he assented. He took the lessons very seriously. The first lesson consisted of my introduction to male banter - he mocked me for my small, delicate hands and then complimented me on the calluses I'd developed on my palms as a gymnast. Then he pointed out my physical strengths - powerful deltoids, latissimus dorsi, triceps and rectus adominis. After many, many lessons, he seemed genuinely surprised when, two years later, I used the very same techniques to beat the crap out of him (to be fair, I'd only become stronger in that time whilst he had aged beyond his years due to his alcoholism. I think that with that concession I've now reached the limits of my modesty. I'm not Thrill Kill: I'm prepared to admit that my male adversary was weaker than I was at the time of said beating).

 

by Helena

I'm finding it more and more difficult to maintain a constant theme in my wardrobe.

As a teenager, I lived in a town in which femininity was considered an atrocious crime. I'd therefore dress to accentuate my femininity. I was a gymnast and I entered puberty late, which meant that one day I was flat-chested, and the next, I measured 35-25-35. That made gymnastics more challenging, but it made it far less challenging to obtain the hysterical responses to my outfits that I craved. I believed, and still do, that if you're living in a free country, you should be able to wear whatever the hell you wanted. Girls in my town were too afraid to wear skirts that were higher than their knees or dresses that showed off their arms for fear that they'd be howled at or even physically attacked. I considered that disgraceful and rebelled against it every chance I got. I also wore one of my mother's rings on each hand because the danger of walking the streets with thousands of dollars' worth of jewellery on my person got me off. I figured that if I were ever successfully mugged, my mugger would never get away with being able to pawn the jewellery, and it'd be back within my mother's clutches within twenty-four hours.

In the corporate world, I've found it difficult to adjust. I no longer work - I don't have to - but when I did, I compensated by wearing the finest clothing I could obtain. Silk and lace with monstrously high stilettos. The required conformity was nowhere near as bad as it was in the town in which I grew up, but it itched at me nonetheless. We women have more options than men do in the corporate world, of course (y'all are forced to wear three-piece suits and ties regardless of the temperature, and I don't think that's fair), but it still bothered me that I couldn't wear a mini skirt to work without having someone whinge about it. I once wore a maxi-dress that happens to show a lot of decolletage, and the ensuing hysteria almost got me fired. I worked in a back-of-office role, where no one could even see me!

Now that I'm about to start med school, I'm going to be faced with another adjustment. Fuck it - I'll probably just go in on my first day wearing a white silk dress with black leather ankle boots.

 

by Helena

65cm and 49kg. Boo-yeah!

Measurements: 35-24-35.

WORSHIP ME!

PS: Btw, is your husband that fiance whom you asked to waterboard you against his will in a garage once because you wanted to live the experience? :D

I don't mean to give you trouble with this post. I'm just curious why you would lie... and not really lie at the same time.

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