Forget about it.
I took it as an insult, I shouldn't have.
"I can tell the difference between reality and what my mind might want to perceive it as. It sneaks up on me occasionally, still."
But how could you know if you are the only source of reference? What has you trust yourself above others, just the fact that it's you?
"If my car, job and reputation were all acquired by some delusional, alternate personality of mine it would be a little scary."
Who said anything about possible delusions coming from an alternate personality in your case? What's to say your core isn't seeing things differently than how things actually are? People see all sorts of things that aren't the case, so what has you thinking your case is accurate enough to not doubt?
"But, in that case if it produces these results, then I see no problem with it."
You see no problem with a lens that might be less than accurate?
"As long as we share a common goal."
But what are those goals exactly? Achievement can be achieved in some cases more easily through delusion, for with delusion can come an odd sense of unrealistic zeal.
- I know what's best for me. I have the discipline and self control to object personal bias and view things from a neutral perspective. I trust myself above others simply because it's a point of pride and respect to be self efficient. Doesn't mean I won't reach out for an outside perspective but it's seldom happens.
- My aim is hitting personal and financial success, I don't see that around me much in the life of others.
- I'm zeroing it out.
- I agree completely, my narcissism has given me unrivaled ambition and persistence. There hasn't been anything I couldn't have if I wanted it bad enough.
by Systematicmy narcissism has given me unrivaled ambition and persistence. There hasn't been anything I couldn't have if I wanted it bad enough.
There are people without narcissism who also have a lot of ambition and persistence, so I'm curious what makes you believe your narcissism gave you that.
If you need to superficially inflate your own ego because you lack self-confidence, then I can see why you depend so strongly on your narcissism to achieve your goals.
"I have the discipline and self control to object personal bias and view things from a neutral perspective."
Except that it's personal bias that has you deciding to pursue a "neutral perspective" in the first place, and you're the one judging what constitutes said neutral perspective. There is all sorts of room for a skewed view in a situation where you're the only one looking at it.
At least for me, I believe myself to have discipline and self control as well, but that doesn't exactly grant me trust for my own perspective (if anything, it showed me how much more I'd have to do from not trusting myself). How do you know that you can trust yours? What stops it from being an unreliable narration?
"I trust myself above others simply because it's a point of pride and respect to be self efficient."
So because being self efficient is ideal, something you desire, you trust yourself? I don't see how an ideal alone can grant that.
"Doesn't mean I won't reach out for an outside perspective but it's seldom happens."
It can be humbling and educational to do so. I'd likely not have realized quite a few things without an outside eye.
"My aim is hitting personal and financial success, I don't see that around me much in the life of others."
Wait, really? I thought that was a rather common goal, the "American Dream" and all that. People typically want comfort and stuff, and money is basically both of those things. There usually has to be something else present, or a clash between the ideas of personal and financial successes, for someone to not desire it, since having their opposites isn't exactly enjoyable.
"I agree completely, my narcissism has given me unrivaled ambition and persistence. There hasn't been anything I couldn't have if I wanted it bad enough."
Narcissism is in itself a system of blind spots for self preservation of the ego, isn't it? Wouldn't being self aware of it delegitimize your pride and make you question how much of it is actually warranted in any situation? How could you simultaniously tell yourself that you're "narcissistic" and still take yourself seriously?
My narcissism didn't come from being unsuccessful and having low self confidence. I didn't develop a large ego to become successful, the ego developed because I was successful. It came from the consistency of my victories, time after time again success built up a feeling of invincibility.
- By neutral I mean I view things by results. Success and failure, gains and losses. My view has been time tested and proved reliable.
- It's not only ideal but practical to rely on your own judgment.
- Agreed. Outside eyes have shown me some blindspots. My view isn't perfect but it doesn't have as many holes compared to most people's.
- The concept of the American dream maybe prevalent, doesn't mean others are actively accomplishing or pursuing that goal.
- I recognize the downfalls of narcissism, but I'm willing to accept those if it gives me what I desire. I'm not saying I'm god or better than anyone. I could care less for social status. But when I see someone who was in my shoes, walking on the streets in rags I realize the only difference between me and that man, is persistence.