I share your viewpoint mostly.
I don't have that extra tolerance for women and I understand the urge to knock someone down but, only when they don't deserve or realize what they have. I suppress these urges, because I see it as weak and petty to concern myself with the success of others. Instead of knocking others down out of jealousy or some deep rooted insecurities, spend that time building yourself up.
It is for this reason I see covert narcissism as superior to overt/malignant narcissism.
Sounds like jealousy to me. Why do you feel threatened by and vengeful towards confident men who like to fuck? Do they remind you of your own inferiority and incompetence with women? The way you use the words "primitave" and "uncivilized" conjures up images in my mind of a pasty skinned little dweeb snubbing his nose at a bunch of England supporters making noise in the pub while on the way back from his cello recital. You said you never dated in secondary school right? And what exactly did your father and step father do to you?
Hysteria evokes a response in me. I'm not sure why. I suppose I see it as the ultimate expression of weakness; a complete surrender to one's emotions.
I like to start fights with people who are likely to become hysterical over the subject matter. Pro-lifers are the best. Before I got into medical school I used to like walking past a fertility clinic, pretending to be a teenage girl who would match the typical pro-lifer's expectation of a patient there. I finally managed to get one to attack me once, and it was fantastic. The security guard who was in charge of protecting the patients from these protestors just let me kick the shit out of her.
The tolerance towards women is mostly because they never attack, apart from the couple i mentioned. They are both manipulative, power hungry women whom i have to deal with occasionally.
That is a valid point and i understand exactly what you mean. I believe the answer is some form of control over this trait. Something i am slowly working on. Building up is the only answer in life and precisely the goal i am working on at this moment.
Covert narcissism does have its benefits but its pitfalls too.
Jealousy of men behaving like lower beasts?I feel no jealousy, i feel disgust and urges of a negative nature. We ascended in the animal kingdom for a reason. Perhaps you enjoy rolling around in your own filth and fucking like a crazy person. The images conjured in your mind are far off Thrope.
My father was an women beater who got taught a valuable lesson by his own son. No violence and no blood. Not that fighting isn't fun but violence is the easy and often boring way. Plus, i enjoy being outside too much to risk jail time.
I never dated in high school but i fucked like a rabbit after high school.
Also wanted to add, the problem with us being online, is you never quite know when i'm being serious or not. Boredom does strange things to me.
I counted on it. For years I've been limited to how I view stalking, I couldn't exactly explain to my friends what I felt or why. Choosing to reveal my habits would create complications considering me and my woman of intrest share most of our friends. I wouldn't want to take the chance of her finding my practices, she really has no idea I'm stalking her. She told one of our mutual friends that she knows I have a soft spot for her, considering we grew up together and dated at one point, but she's completely blind to what I'm actually doing.
I chose to document my stalking down to the smallest of details because an outside opinion was needed and I was at first surprised. I didn't see my behavior as wrong or the negative impact it's had on me until I wrote it down, backed away and came back to it. This place has been an eye opening experience for me and I'm thankful for that. I welcome criticism and improve from it.
I won't be seeking professional help of any kind. I believe that wouldn't help and it's against my own ideology. There will be a day soon where I don't care about her anymore and I'll never rob myself of the satisfaction that I did it all on my own.