The only thing I feel strongly is anger. Other than that, I cannot relate in any way.
by TheLeviathanThe only thing I feel strongly is anger. Other than that, I cannot relate in any way.
Are you sure about that? My emotions are underdeveloped myself, but not in a way that a psychopath's are. It's more like I have the basic anger, sadness, fear, and happiness; and then different variations and intensities of those, coupled with things like pleasure. Could this be like you? You've just not ascribed a label to what many people call "higher/culturally bound" emotions?
by MachiavelliAre you sure about that? My emotions are underdeveloped myself, but not in a way that a psychopath's are. It's more like I have the basic anger, sadness, fear, and happiness; and then different variations and intensities of those, coupled with things like pleasure. Could this be like you? You've just not ascribed a label to what many people call "higher/culturally bound" emotions?
I feel physical things like pain and pleasure, seemingly more intensely than most people. My version of sadness, based on past experience (I don't recalling feeling "sadness" in over 5 years) is just heightened laziness. Fear seems to only manifest itself in my phobia of heights. The only thing close to that is the intensity which is felt during and after my reflexive defense mechanisms. But based on others' descriptions of fear and sadness, I have never felt anything like that. At least, not in the past decade (Again, this could be a sign of damage to the brain over the past many years. I'm very interested in getting a brain scan. I'll post the results if I get one, soon.). Happiness, to me, is usually a short-lived, positive feeling that arises when I'm victorious in something, or if I get something I wanted. Otherwise, my default emotional position is indifference. I consider this positive, in regards to the way that most people around me tend to feel without even the slightest change in life-situations.
It is quite possible that the label makes the emotions more "real" or intense for others.
by MachiavelliMy most recent was schizoaffective, bipolar with psychotic features, borderline personality disorder, and PTSD. I'm getting a new therapist and a new opinion. They lied on my disability paperwork to the federal government. I have neither delusions nor hallucinations.
Okay, so I looked into it, and apparently the disability office messed up. My psychiatrist still just has Bipolar NOS. I was going to say.
by TheLeviathan
by MachiavelliAre you sure about that? My emotions are underdeveloped myself, but not in a way that a psychopath's are. It's more like I have the basic anger, sadness, fear, and happiness; and then different variations and intensities of those, coupled with things like pleasure. Could this be like you? You've just not ascribed a label to what many people call "higher/culturally bound" emotions?
I feel physical things like pain and pleasure, seemingly more intensely than most people. My version of sadness, based on past experience (I don't recalling feeling "sadness" in over 5 years) is just heightened laziness. Fear seems to only manifest itself in my phobia of heights. The only thing close to that is the intensity which is felt during and after my reflexive defense mechanisms. But based on others' descriptions of fear and sadness, I have never felt anything like that. At least, not in the past decade (Again, this could be a sign of damage to the brain over the past many years. I'm very interested in getting a brain scan. I'll post the results if I get one, soon.). Happiness, to me, is usually a short-lived, positive feeling that arises when I'm victorious in something, or if I get something I wanted. Otherwise, my default emotional position is indifference. I consider this positive, in regards to the way that most people around me tend to feel without even the slightest change in life-situations.
It is quite possible that the label makes the emotions more "real" or intense for others.
I can identify with alot of this. Though most of the time, I'm even less emotionally reactive, even when things excite me. Like starting a new job or when I finally had my own apartment. It was weird that people kept asking if I was excited, I was like "yeah", but in reality, I just didn't think too much about it.
Honestly, some people are just less emotional than others. It's normal.
I know that in my case, I'm definitely less expressive, even when I'm feeling intensely. I was so passionately in love with my girlfriend, yet she still thinks I'm cold and emotionless. I had her talk to a friend of mine who understood that I just express myself differently, and it helped alot. She stopped calling me a psychopath lol. I'm suprised we were able to work through that, I thought for sure it was ending.
She still says she's trying to understand me, and she has helped me see that I'm not always fair and can be selfish. I'm working on it as I do like her.
The only thing I can say really troubles me personally, is the feeling like I have to be better than everyone else, it feels suffocating to live a normal life. I could end up middle class, in a nice home, and driving the best car; Have the awesomest wife and kids and have them be successful, and still be consumed by feeling like I've fallen short. Anyone can do that! I need better. I've gotta do something with my life, or my megalomania will make me feel shitty and unaccomplished. That's the only thing close to a personality disorder I think I have, is my ego issues. Even that's not one, I just have ego issues haha
by puppet masterIf and when we get our disorder badges made up, put together a 'secondary psychopath' one for me.
I always score high on that one. Alot higher than primary. Though everyone would score high on secondary psychopathy if they were honest with themselves. It describes a normal human being.
by MachiavelliI can identify with alot of this. Though most of the time, I'm even less emotionally reactive, even when things excite me. Like starting a new job or when I finally had my own apartment. It was weird that people kept asking if I was excited, I was like "yeah", but in reality, I just didn't think too much about it.
Honestly, some people are just less emotional than others. It's normal.
I know that in my case, I'm definitely less expressive, even when I'm feeling intensely. I was so passionately in love with my girlfriend, yet she still thinks I'm cold and emotionless. I had her talk to a friend of mine who understood that I just express myself differently, and it helped alot. She stopped calling me a psychopath lol. I'm suprised we were able to work through that, I thought for sure it was ending.
She still says she's trying to understand me, and she has helped me see that I'm not always fair and can be selfish. I'm working on it as I do like her.
The only thing I can say really troubles me personally, is the feeling like I have to be better than everyone else, it feels suffocating to live a normal life. I could end up middle class, in a nice home, and driving the best car; Have the awesomest wife and kids and have them be successful, and still be consumed by feeling like I've fallen short. Anyone can do that! I need better. I've gotta do something with my life, or my megalomania will make me feel shitty and unaccomplished. That's the only thing close to a personality disorder I think I have, is my ego issues. Even that's not one, I just have ego issues haha
I definitely identify with the first paragraph.
I find that it helps, in relationships that you want to work out, for one reason or another, to fake emotions and passion even if you don't usually express it. Find a way to express it sometimes, and you shouldn't have to express it all the time. Timing is everything when it comes to emotional expression and manipulation. Fake the right emotions at the right time, and you can turn your girls mood around, or even convince her that she was wrong about something (I was told this wasn't possible. I was lied to.).
I like the very mention of my name to mean happiness and passion to my partners. In order to do that, you have to match yourself to their needs. Outside of that, I've pretty much gotten away with saying anything around them. I prefer developing the mask enough for them to do things for me without me asking, and they still tend to stay happy. I'm polite all the time unless they blatantly wrong me (A wronging that anyone would resent, regardless of psychological stability), so if they do something they think hurt me somehow, they immediately exhibit and express remorse.
I wouldn't consider the need to constantly better yourself an "ego issue." That's how everyone should think if they want to be successful. The idea of calling that an issue is absurd to me. It approaches insanity, to me.
Now, why less makes you feel "shitty," I have no clue. I'd prefer to have everything, but I wouldn't let less make me feel bad. It's not the bad feeling of less that makes me want more. What makes me want more is the greatness that I assume would come with more.
by puppet masterScore higher? You take online tests? :')
Yeah, sometimes. I seriously think that though. The guilt makes people deny the reality of what they're really like. Studies have proven this. Even if in jail, they think they're more moral than average, most people just have a tendacy to have to see themselves as better than they really are. If people were so moral, and the average person wasn't capable of mass murder, we'd never see genocide on the scales that we've repeatedly seen throughout history. We're just another ape underneath the lies we tell ourselves.
by TheLeviathanI definitely identify with the first paragraph.
I find that it helps, in relationships that you want to work out, for one reason or another, to fake emotions and passion even if you don't usually express it. Find a way to express it sometimes, and you shouldn't have to express it all the time. Timing is everything when it comes to emotional expression and manipulation. Fake the right emotions at the right time, and you can turn your girls mood around, or even convince her that she was wrong about something (I was told this wasn't possible. I was lied to.).
I like the very mention of my name to mean happiness and passion to my partners. In order to do that, you have to match yourself to their needs. Outside of that, I've pretty much gotten away with saying anything around them. I prefer developing the mask enough for them to do things for me without me asking, and they still tend to stay happy. I'm polite all the time unless they blatantly wrong me (A wronging that anyone would resent, regardless of psychological stability), so if they do something they think hurt me somehow, they immediately exhibit and express remorse.
I wouldn't consider the need to constantly better yourself an "ego issue." That's how everyone should think if they want to be successful. The idea of calling that an issue is absurd to me. It approaches insanity, to me.
Now, why less makes you feel "shitty," I have no clue. I'd prefer to have everything, but I wouldn't let less make me feel bad. It's not the bad feeling of less that makes me want more. What makes me want more is the greatness that I assume would come with more.
It's a mix between boredom and restlessness. I feel like if I'm going to live this life, I'd better do something great, and not be weak, pathetic, and servile like the rest of the sheep. It's ego issues only in that I have really bad other esteem. I'm a misanthrope. So having to deal with being "just like everyone else" is ego-shattering. I don't think its a bad thing though to be like this, it does push me to do exciting things. It feels shitty to feel nothing, its so boring and unexciting for me.