Well then that is good. :)
"I'm ok with being human. But other people don't seem to be."
What are they then, and why is it that you are the human while other people are not? Wouldn't being the odd one out make you the "less human" one among them?
"But most of the time, people start to seem bat-shit insane after I get deep enough. At least, in the sense that I can't understand why they do the things they do, at all. They just seem to be doing things without intellectualizing them. Or they think things without rationalizing them."
How spontaneous of a person would you say you are? How much premeditation versus "winging it" is your life?
It sounds like you don't understand those who might shoot first and ask questions later.
by Turncoat"I'm ok with being human. But other people don't seem to be."
What are they then, and why is it that you are the human while other people are not? Wouldn't being the odd one out make you the "less human" one among them?
"But most of the time, people start to seem bat-shit insane after I get deep enough. At least, in the sense that I can't understand why they do the things they do, at all. They just seem to be doing things without intellectualizing them. Or they think things without rationalizing them."
How spontaneous of a person would you say you are? How much premeditation versus "winging it" is your life?
It sounds like you don't understand those who might shoot first and ask questions later.
I meant that other people don't seem to like being human. I did not mean that I think other people are not human.
I would say that almost none of it is spontaneous. But that was not always the case. I used to be VERY impulsive. I had to start thinking through my actions a bit more for my social life to be more functional and rewarding.
At the same time, I think I speak for anyone, neurotypical or not, when I say that if the situation is dire enough, some questions don't need to be asked, and premeditation may simply not be an option. Sometimes it is impossible to plan. But being able to cope with unplanned circumstances, and be productive under pressure is my specialty. I don't take risks that I don't need to. I'm cautious, but I'm also able to prepare myself for consequences that are a direct result of carelessness.
For example, I was recently caught climbing through somebody's window by their neighbors. It was an action of opportunity, and premeditation was not really a factor. Regardless, the situation became a bit unstable when seven cop cars showed up outside the house. I snuck out the back door without leaving a trace. I stayed by the back door for a moment to get an understanding of the situation. After only a moment, I prepared what I was going to say to the cops if they caught me, or what I would do if the home owners caught me. I also prepared myself for other, less likely scenarios, but I focused my energy on the likely ones. I didn't once feel stressed or scared. I was prepared for whatever happened. I would've gone to jail had I been caught, and I was prepared for that. Obviously I got away (Over the back yard fence, of course. The cops in my town aren't smart enough to try and catch the burglar on the road behind the house and back a few properties. Because who would think to run there?), though.
So, yeah. Sometimes, I am careless or spontaneous, but even in those times I am constantly planning my next moves in the event of a situational failure. I may have lost myself to some minor urges because I let my guard down, but I realized how level-headed I could be in such a situation, and have planned some future choices to allow for more risk and reward. I will salvage a victory out of a loss no matter what.
by TheLeviathanMaybe I'm not as self-aware as I thought I was? People are so different from me, as far as I've determined. I mean, yeah, my shit stinks like everyone else's (Literally and metaphorically), but that's no reason for me to claim to be similar outside of basic tendencies/flaws. I'm ok with being human. But other people don't seem to be.
That's pretty much what I was trying to say. People aren't okay with themselves, so they have to slap a label onto everyone else who seems to be. How many times have you heard people whining that society makes them FEEL BAD? That they're insecure because the MEDIA FORCES them to undertake notions of perfectionism that are supposedly unachievable?
I have never felt that shit. Ever. And I was a gymnast and a lingerie model. If anyone was going to be insecure, it'd be me - unless I had enough narcissistic traits to not give a fuck about what other people thought of my vocations (when you're a lingerie model, you get yourself caught between two groups of people: one group wants to screech that you're not pretty enough to be a lingerie model despite having absolutely no connection to the industry at all and thus revealing their own insecurities in the process, and the other wants to screech that your life is easier BECAUSE you happen to be a lingerie model, which is an outright misconception at best and a complete lie at worst: people HATE attractive people. They hate them because they're attracted to them, and because they hate themselves but can't admit to it, they've got to relieve themselves of that anger somehow. Shrieking that someone has had an easier life than they have is the easiest (read: laziest) way to do it).
All in all, I think you're fine. You seem more self-aware than many narcissists and almost all non-narcissists that I've known.
by HelenaThat's pretty much what I was trying to say. People aren't okay with themselves, so they have to slap a label onto everyone else who seems to be. How many times have you heard people whining that society makes them FEEL BAD? That they're insecure because the MEDIA FORCES them to undertake notions of perfectionism that are supposedly unachievable?
I have never felt that shit. Ever. people HATE attractive people. They hate them because they're attracted to them, and because they hate themselves but can't admit to it, they've got to relieve themselves of that anger somehow. Shrieking that someone has had an easier life than they have is the easiest (read: laziest) way to do it).
This. I cannot stand when people blame society for their negative feelings and insecurities. I can't understand the weak resolve, or primitive mentality that would be required to be obsessed with achieving the "perfection" in the media. I never even saw media's "notion of perfection" until someone pointed it out to me. It was so bizarre that someone was actually focused on something so petty. It was a Neo-Feminist, no doubt. Don't even get me started on their whining.
I didn't even know I looked good until about a year or two ago. I just assumed parents and family members were supposed to tell you you're good-looking regardless of whether it was true. But then, my peers started being more open with their opinions (The honest ones, not the hateful, projected insecurities) about my looks, and it turns out I'm great looking. I wasn't upset or even really focused on how my looks matched with everyone else's standards before I was told I looked good, and my attitude still hasn't changed. I mean, I dress better now than I did in the old days, but that's just because I know it helps with social functionality. Yes, the insecure cunts hate you, but they get rejected by everyone else if they treat the "smart, handsome, nice guy" with indecency. Now, I will probably encounter more insecure cunts as I go deeper into the world of work, so the social cushion of nicer people may not last much longer. When that happens, all it will take to crush the opposition are undercover blows to their insecurities. People with lower esteems are easy to dupe into looking up to you. Take advantage of that constant gravitation towards unattainable perfection and you can get lackeys. Become the teacher, and guide your victims to your "level of achievement" and then they will do anything for you. Be larger than life, and make them feel like they're on your level for just a moment, and you will always have them as your ally.
The reason why the media is so good at making people fall for that notion of perfection is because they are good at making people feel similar enough to those that are "perfect" to make them think that it IS attainable, regardless of their actual body-type. But they can make them feel just different enough for them to strive for that "one, extra step" towards perfection. But because I've never felt like I was similar to anyone in the media, and because I never saw anyone in the media as perfect, I never had that urge to obtain a likeness to those in the media's "ideal trait-sets."
"I had to start thinking through my actions a bit more for my social life to be more functional and rewarding."
I relate, but I'm curious as to why that is the case for you. What was life like before all the planning?
"if the situation is dire enough, some questions don't need to be asked,"
Questions don't need to be asked, sure, but does that mean that the person ought to stop seeking answers?
I'd argue it's a matter of identifying what questions are right to ask and when they ought to be asked, even if it's simply asking yourself, not the idea of "questions" as a general thing. In a general sense, it is always good to question what's around you.
"and premeditation may simply not be an option."
Unless said person plans that much.
"I'm also able to prepare myself for consequences that are a direct result of carelessness."
Is it really "careless" if you prepare for it in advance? A person who really "wings it" wouldn't bother, they'd just act, even if it's to their detriment simply from wondering not crossing their mind in that moment or moments before it. Some people are content with just going from point A to point B instead of planning how to do it.
"For example, I was recently caught climbing through somebody's window bytheir neighbors. It was an action of opportunity, and premeditation was not really a factor."
It's climbing through someone's window, how isn't there room for premeditation there?
"[the rest of the story]"
What even inspired you to go in there in the first place?
"I realized how level-headed I could be in such a situation, and have planned some future choices to allow for more risk and reward."
When confronted by cops and stressful situations above a certain point I also have a level head, but that's closer to making the best out of a bad situation (and emotion shutting down on it's own... apparently). Sure freaking out would be worse, but something lead to being in that stressful situation in the first place. What good will having a level head with a life full of mistakes grant you, other than being better off than someone who doesn't have a level head in the same situation?
"I will salvage a victory out of a loss no matter what."
Sounds both optimistic and potentially blinding. It must be nice.
by Turncoat"I had to start thinking through my actions a bit more for my social life to be more functional and rewarding."
1. I relate, but I'm curious as to why that is the case for you. What was life like before all the planning?
"if the situation is dire enough, some questions don't need to be asked,"
2. Questions don't need to be asked, sure, but does that mean that the person ought to stop seeking answers?
2. I'd argue it's a matter of identifying what questions are right to ask and when they ought to be asked, even if it's simply asking yourself, not the idea of "questions" as a general thing. In a general sense, it is always good to question what's around you.
"and premeditation may simply not be an option."
Unless said person plans that much.
"I'm also able to prepare myself for consequences that are a direct result of carelessness."
3. Is it really "careless" if you prepare for it in advance? A person who really "wings it" wouldn't bother, they'd just act, even if it's to their detriment simply from wondering not crossing their mind in that moment or moments before it. Some people are content with just going from point A to point B instead of planning how to do it.
"For example, I was recently caught climbing through somebody's window bytheir neighbors. It was an action of opportunity, and premeditation was not really a factor."
4. It's climbing through someone's window, how isn't there room for premeditation there?
"[the rest of the story]"
4. What even inspired you to go in there in the first place?
"I realized how level-headed I could be in such a situation, and have planned some future choices to allow for more risk and reward."
5. When confronted by cops and stressful situations above a certain point I also have a level head, but that's closer to making the best out of a bad situation (and emotion shutting down on it's own... apparently). Sure freaking out would be worse, but something lead to being in that stressful situation in the first place. What good will having a level head with a life full of mistakes grant you, other than being better off than someone who doesn't have a level head in the same situation?
"I will salvage a victory out of a loss no matter what."
Sounds both optimistic and potentially blinding. It must be nice.
1. My life before the planning was full of childish, volatile reactions to simple urges and dominant, bully-like behavior. I always had to out-do my friends. If they showed any type of dominance over me, I talked them down to a depression. If one got angry and hit me, I would just take revenge. I'd make them suffer a bit. When I thought they'd been compensated enough for their "betrayal (At least, that's how I saw it then), or when I got caught, I'd stop. For example, once, when I was about 9-10 or so, I got into an argument with a friend (I instigated by talking him down. He was attempting to explain something and I just kept calling him retarded because I knew he couldn't do anything about it). He blew up and came at me, fists flying. If I remember correctly, he caught me across the jaw, but he wasn't really strong enough for it to hurt that much. But the pain wasn't what pissed me off. I grabbed the back of his neck and shoulders and pushed his nose to the ground, practically folding him at the waist a bit further than he should've been folding. I kept pushing while he was screaming for me to stop. I asked if he was done, and if he was going to hit me again. I asked him over and over again, but all I got was "STOP! PLEASE, IT HURTS! [etc.]" So I just kept him down until I heard his parents coming down the stairs (They came down loudly and quickly.) It hit me that the consequences would be bad if they caught me doing this. I figured it would be best if I got off of him and leaned the situation against him, instead. I put it simply, "He hit me and I pushed him to the ground to keep him off of me (I knew I really pushed him down because the thought of him being an aggressor to me was enraging). He could hardly defend himself and spin it off another way because the pain was the only thing he could worry or talk about. The only thing they did was make me go home that night, even though we'd planned to hang out all night at his house. I was able to come over the next day and "make up."
1. The new me would've handled that situation a bit differently. Now, I wouldn't have put myself in that situation in the first place. Anyone I spend time around, that I'm not trying to get something out of, I tend to treat with a lot of respect. People are more willing to do things for me when I'm polite. There's no need to be aggressive, but it is smart to dominate the focus of positive attention anywhere you go.
2. I agree. But most of the time, on-the-fly questions (Ones important, not only to the situation at hand, but to the resulting consequences) tend to be answered correctly (For me, at least), especially when the situation is serious. Not sure if it's luck or intuition, yet, though. I guess we'll find out, if and when it runs out.
3. Ah, yes, the semantics here were a bit odd. What I meant here was that I have been skilled, so far, in reacting to consequences that are the result of carelessness. The "preparation" could be seen as conditioning for on-the-fly reactions (conditioning from past experiences that either did, or did not go that well) to stressful situations.
4. Answers to these require details to be given that I am not willing to give. I would've gone more into detail in the post that I mentioned this in (You know I love to ramble and go off on tangents) if I was willing to give those details.
5. It's all about balancing risk and reward. Spontaneity certainly increases risk, but the spontaneity is usually caused by the introduction of a possible reward (If the actions are spontaneous, the reward is most likely high). Obviously, by the definition of "spontaneous," the actions weren't gonna be given much thought in regards to risk-reward assessment. But that's what the great, under-pressure intuition is for - To smooth out the peaks and valleys in risk and reward.
It must be nice.
6. You have no idea ^