Sociopath Community

I've never been that desperate for sex, though I did almost rape a guy once because he wanted to finish and I hadn't orgasmed yet. So, I made damn sure I got my orgasm first. I was on top of him, which gave me the advantage.

That's the only time I've literally come close to raping someone and I would have if he had tried to push me off him.

It's not about desperation. Guys get blue balls when they are in the heat of the moment with their lady friend, but she holds out for the sake of propriety. Or perhaps there is just no time to get a proper fuck in. What planet are you living on?

I've never been in a situation where a guy felt the need to tell me he had blue balls. I'm not opposed to fucking on the first date.

sigh

 Hi Tesseract:

To build a relationship on a firm foundation, I would focus on building a trusting friendship first. Where no matter what else goes on, with romance, losing interest, doing this or that, you respect and care for each other as friends and keep that as the ongoing theme. The rest should be icing on the cake. Learn to handle each other's strengths/weaknesses, quirks, changes, etc. as friends first. Like you would with someone you didn't have romantic feelings for.

So honey the bad news is if you can't do this, if all your interest in him is "dependent" or "conditioned" on things like (a) only if he loves you back (b) only if he acts this way or that way to meet your needs, then you may not be right for each other. You must focus on "unconditional" love, caring and things you would share REGARDLESS what you get or don't get in return. Otherwise you will both hurt each other and your relationship. Learn to love unconditionally first, and the rest will follow, whatever it is meant to be. That is harder said than done. It takes complete forgiveness and letting go of whatever makes you attached to conditions. It is like asking you to love people detached as the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa would. Sorry but that is the only kind of love that won't get you hurt is the unconditional compassion for people regardless what they do.

Silk, explain to me a specific situation you were in where you found out the guy you were with had blue balls.

 I'm not sure if you're trolling me, but if I turn that into "I can have love for him but we shouldn't stay together after he stops meeting my needs" then I like it.

Unconditional love is cool.  I'm pretty disordered so this calm feeling definitely won't last, but I can always remind myself how stupid I felt if I start to do it again.

I guess when I see him I can see if we can stay friends.  If not, I guess it doesn't matter, but yeah.  Unconditional love.  I can't hate him for being who he is.

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 yours, too! mine is my real name. so when ppl look me up online, what you see is what you get. no one else to blame for what i post. wish the whole world were that transparent and without fear of judgment. just open honest sharing no matter what is said in the process. that's what i believe in. more love less fear.

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