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 When you want to fuck them.

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You make it sound like math. lol

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 Okay. Let's back up. I'm not picking on you, I swear.

I want to help.

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 I don't think flirting is premeditated. It should not be something you have to decide on.

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by Silkthread

You make it sound like math. lol

 Hahahahaha that's kind of how I see the world. Hyper-logical INTJ here...

 

OK, so but it's only an issue because it takes me a long time to decide if I want to fuck them and by then they already think I hate them or I'm crazy, because I go from being kind of cold and unsure and not really talking to them to like, hay let's hang out.

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by Silkthread

 Okay. Let's back up. I'm not picking on you, I swear.

I want to help.

 Thanks. I didn't think you were lol

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 Do you mean to say you don't just physically feel like you want to fuck them? I would think the body would have the biggest say in the equation (to keep with the math theme).

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 What you're saying is very alien to me and I'm sure most of the people. Most of us know what we want and go for it. We may be odd at times, but I'd say the majority knows where they stand when it comes to  sex.

Maybe you don't want to have sex? Maybe you just think you should.

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 I'm with you on this. It sounds like there is no sexual desire there to begin with.

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by Silkthread

 I don't think flirting is premeditated. It should not be something you have to decide on.

Ya but if I don't decide, I don't really do it.

A lot of my social skills/body language are learned intellectually. So, I'm actually a lot better at it than some other people, but only when I DECIDE to come across a certain way. Like I worked at a restaurant as the to-go person, I wasn't even really "supposed" to be making tips because I got paid hourly. But not only did I make tips ... some shifts I would make even more than some of the the servers because I was so good at faking social skills and "manipulating" people.

BUT when I don't "decide" to do it and be myself, I come across as cold and uncaring. People stop me to ask me if I'm all right when I'm thinking about a puzzle or something because my face is exprssionless, and they think I must be depressed. People at work laugh when I respond in a monotone voice. People say they think I don't like them because I don't make small talk. I don't "naturally" act the way most people do ...

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