Sociopath Community

by Silkthread

 Do you mean to say you don't just physically feel like you want to fuck them? I would think the body would have the biggest say in the equation (to keep with the math theme).

by FatherLucifer

 What you're saying is very alien to me and I'm sure most of the people. Most of us know what we want and go for it. We may be odd at times, but I'd say the majority knows where they stand when it comes to  sex.

Maybe you don't want to have sex? Maybe you just think you should.

Yeah, I don't think its that black and white though. Like, there was this guy that I thought was super cute, but I didn't know if I would like him as a person. I felt very DRAWN to him, but it was weird because I hadn't felt that way before, because it didn't seem like sexual attraction. (Or maybe that's what sexual attraction is and I just haven't ever been attracted to someone before hahaha.)

I don't think you HAVE to like someone to have sex with them, but I kind of have a weird judging criteria for it. If the guy is hot, but I'm sure he's an idiot from the get-go, then sure, I'll flirt with him and get him into bed. But if I'm undecided if I'd want to date them, then I'm not going to just go up to them and ask them to take me home and that's that. 

In other words, I only have sex with people I don't like right away. If there's a possibility I'd like them, I want to get to know them first.

 But basically what you're saying is, everybody pretty much knows after two seconds if they want to date someone or not?!?!

 Okay. I get that other people see you how they see you. When first meeting me, people think I'm cold, elusive, and indifferent.

But that is because I am. 

When I first meet anyone, they don't even seem real. They might as well be part of the furniture. Only, it's furniture that I have to talk to. Over time (sometimes months), as I get used to them, they begin to interact with me on a more personal level, they start to get warmer and warmer. Though, only if they are in constant contact with me.

Until that happens... they won't even be a blip on the monitor. So my brain and body tend to respond more to the firecracker types. People who go bang! right in my face. I'm able to feel more connected then, and internally shit will be going on.

If you don't feel anything going on internally, then you shouldn't be trying to decide if you should or shouldn't flirt. You should just move on.

So are you saying that after someone bangs into your face, and you like them, etc etc ... you naturally flirt with them???

I tend to still have the problem when I REALLY REALLY like a guy and am SUPER attracted to him. But I think that's probably not because I don't like them; it's because I FREAK THE FUCK OUT. So I act extra standoffish because I'm freaked out, then, I remember that other people have thoughts too, and his are that he probably that I hate him, and I'm suddenly like, OMGHIWHATSUP.

And then they stop talking to me, probably because they think I'm crazy (which I probably am).

 Will people even try talking to you/knowing you/flirting with you after they first meet you if you come across as cold and indifferent? Or do you just end up attracting someone who doesn't want someone who acutally likes them?

 Yes. Once I see the fireworks, and I can see them well enough to feel attraction... I'll flirt. But in different ways for different people. Sometimes it's subtle, and other times more obvious. It all depends on how stimulating they are, and if I feel like seducing them, or just fucking.

 LOL Hunny, there are a whole lot of animals out there who are attracted to the cold, indifferent kind. Believe me when I say that being who I am, has never stopped people from being attracted to me, and wanting to persue.

 I can't relate to the whole "FREAKING THE FUCK OUT" thing. So you may need someone else's input on that part. That sounds like axiety issues, and perhaps self esteem issues? idk

I don't often get conflicted about what I want. The only time that happens is when something catches me off guard because it generally goes against my true nature. And that is a rare occurence. I get conflicted about other things, but not attraction.

 That's good to hear. Sounds like I need 2 b tru 2 me.

 Yes. Exactly. Don't force yourself into things. Unlike math, there are so many different formulas that work. Plus... it's just unfortunate that so many people want instant gradification when going into relationships. 

The day I meet someone willing to be patient enough to let me warm to them in my own time- it will with the right one.