Sociopath Community

Hate to break it to you but I'm not Claudia and if I were I wouldn't admit it due to the audience. No offense. This is just a public forum. These things have been very personal for me and haven't been shared outside of anonymity.The amount of enthusiasm for potential soap opera drama was amusing though.

A trainwreck to you perhaps but as the person that second guessed everything, over and over a hundred times, you all provided me with enough clarity to finally see through this. It's a relief really.

The question regarding my parents: that is the root of this I'm sure, isn't it usually? My mother exhibits signs of antisocial personality disorder but other personality disorders as well and is an alcoholic/prescription drug addict. They were the opposite of strict and couldn't really tend to themselves, let alone a child. I'm trying to be careful here. This is where he pushed into my head the deepest and I gave him the road map like a naive child.

Contrary to what has been mentioned, I don't see myself as a helpless victim. I see myself as a person so desperate for love and accepatance that they didn't take what red flags that did appear seriously and in return gained an invaluable life lesson. His lamenting and self loathing while incredibly drunk was something I shouldn't have taken lightly.

Thank you all again for your responses. It may seem like a small thing but the inconsistency in behavior between sober and inebriated was enough to make me doubt sociopathy entirely and blame myself just like I was supposed to.

Sorry for all the typing.

 I was just hoping for the opportunity to fuck with him.

So it's not that you happen to be a helpless victim, you're just desperate for love and acceptance.

That's about as logical as an overweight person saying "I'm not fat, I'm just hungry all the time."

Do you think said "invaluable life lesson" will protect you from others who will aim to exploit you? Because if said desperation for love and acceptance is still there, you will be toyed with by others as well.

I'm aware of this but seeing myself as a victim takes power away from me and if I know that I have this deep desire for love and acceptance then I can be more proactive in the future.

As long as that desire doesn't control your actions anyway.

If you fixate on acceptance, you will be an easy mark.

 If that desire controls my actions regardless then being aware will have no effect other than produce additional guilt when I fail myself, making me an even easier mark. For my own benefit/safety/peace of mind I have to see this as an opportunity to not have this happen again. I see the skepticism but I'm still opting to have hope.

If you lack the self control to adjust how you think and opperate, and lack the means of adapting to change, yeah, being aware will only make you unhappy. Being aware however means you have the ability to overcome weaknesses, since you can recognize weakness in the first place.

Acceptance seeking behavior isn't always the best way to go about things, especially at the risk of personal identity and willpower. I'm sure you've learned a lesson from this whole thing, but the real question is what lesson that was.

 Wait, why wouldn't you admit your name?

by Tom

 Wait, why wouldn't you admit your name?

 I thought he was here, I did think he was Jay but now I'm less sure and need to stop trying to figure it out. But I did give enough information for him to know so I guess it doesn't matter. Regardless, my name isn't Claudia.

 Then what is it? He won't be here...I told you he's not a sociopath. 

And your avatar, is that like an abused female dog or something? Am I detecting sluttiness too?