What did he want from you that was difficult for you to give?
I'm logging out now, but I'll check back later.
"When I was upset and asked why (money is no issue for him) I was told "because I can"."
And this didn't set off any warning bells? That's not even a real reason, that's just an exercise of power.
"try to get me to say I hated him and I couldn't. I just hated myself."
That's a tactic from movies. By trying to get you to tell him that, you either:
a) Tell him what he wanted you to say, which can be messy when you don't want to do what he asks. It steals it's thunder by making it the expected thing to say.
b) You don't say it, and question why you didn't, or even can't, starting a doubt spiral of sorts that keeps you confused enough to be manipulated.
It's almost a Catch 22.
It did send off warning bells and it's why I had such a severe reaction to it after I was told that it occured. But I wasn't told that it was broadcast immediately. There's really not much I can add to this because I've blamed myself repeatedly over this subject.
And thanks Jay but direct help isn't needed. Just being able to connect all these dots is giving me quite a bit of help.
by JaySo you're just one of those "victims" that are starved for attention?
Gotcha...
Blaming me isn't something new and I expected that when I initially posted. The avatar was because your comment about me being a dog made me laugh. While I may be in the middle of a rather dark time, I didn't somehow lose a sense of humor. This very comment is a catch 22 because if I respond I'm further putting myself out there for attention but if I ignore it then it can be viewed as confirmation in silence.
Prior to you, everyone has been very helpful to me and provided me with information that I couldn't gain from medical journals or wiki articles. For that I'm grateful.
I'm sorry you went through all that. That guy is a total douche bag. Just keep in mind that manipulation is really a matter of perception. To "normal" people in love, we do things for them that we normally wouldn't do, and they understand that it is out of love - not "control". Normal people don't consider it "manipulation" or control, just actions one do to show their love/connection. To a person who doesn't care, then it is manipulation, because they don't understand. Maybe you were "tricked" and some users on this forum probably think it's your fault for believing/trusting him. However, most people in the world usually tell the truth, why go through life assuming everyone is lying? I really have a much more jaded perception of humanity after lurking on this site for months. . . sometimes I wish I could go back to thinking that people who lie and manipulate for entertainment don't exist.
Accept what happened, learn to watch out for the signs and go through life burned, but a little wiser from now on.