Someone that cares has every right to be angry.
And if someone cuts you off because they hurt you, aka (failed, since they can't cut you off otherwise) suicide, then you are better off without them.
Imagine the burden you will lose, once you get over it and if they cut you off like this, it is because you have feelings too, so it is clearly not worth carrying.
'It is not selfishness'
'It is how you felt'
🤔
Someone who cares will understand you've been going thru too much pain and need relief, they would be sad but ultimately happy that you have found relief.
A leech who was using you for emotional support or w.e on the other hand, will be angry because you are not providing them whatever emotional need you were fulfilling at that time.
Suicide is not relief, it is surrender/escape. It is like taking drugs/alcohol to find relief.
If you fail a suicide ppl who care have every right to be angry, but they shouldn't berate you over it, in most cases.
Relations(friends or otherwise) go both ways: you both have to consider the other person's feelings. Suicide is completely unfair towards those that have invested their trust and care in you. You hurt them first and it is a conscious choice, and it is unnecessary, and it is not the right choice. You have the excuse that you are emotionally broken, but that excuse does not remove the right of the person who cares to feel loss over you and cope with these feelings in the form of anger. When you make the choice to hurt them(regardless if that was not the goal), it is entitled to expect that they will just eat it up and have no right to feel hurt.
I do not have changed feelings towards Alena, but I can understand Spatial.
It is unfair to cause emotional damage(that you could have avoided causing) and expect no recourse. Of course, it does not mean you should hate the person suiciding because you can be understanding and see their point of view, but it is totally normal to feel anger.
I've never thought about suicide, apart from weird daydreaming, nor I have lost someone like that, so I was not sure why I was so passionate about this after reading your comment, but I think I know why now: it is like a form of unintentional guilt-tripping. And those piss me off.
Surrender and escape can be relief.
Everyone is entitled to their feelings but I am also entitled to withdrawing from the relationship for their display of entitlement. My life is mine and I can take it if I want to.
You are the one who chooses to give me your trust and attachment, I don't ask for it or demand it and it is your fault if you get hurt by something I do to myself rightfully because it's not me hurting you, its you hurting yourself by forming this said attachment. I will not set myself on fire to keep someone warm.
When you say causing someone emotional damage, you're implying that she's doing it to others rather than people doing it to themselves by getting attached to her due to whatever emotional supply they were feeding off of her. Its not her duty to protect people from pain they exposed themselves to.
I do get the unintentional guilt tripping aspect though. It feels like she did it just to punish people for not making her happy enough right? She's definitely basking in the attention and also attacking people for not expressing sadness over attempt, give me my supply damn it.
I am appalled that people can go "wataboutme?" when someone attempt to kill themselves. Dude, they are in so much pain that they are trying to take their own life, can you pull your head out of your ass and think of others for a second? Give her some support maybe? Are my first thoughts on this.
In a normal friendship or closer relationship, it is accepted that you both invest trust and care in each other. That's the idea. Maybe I am wrong, but that is how I've always looked at it.
So you become responsible for the damage you do to your friend and so does he towards you.
You might have made a mistake that it is, in fact, a one-sided friendship and the other person does not care in return. Then it is your own fault and in this case, the other person should not expect anything from a stranger and it would be right to cut this relationship off.
If you break the relationship, then they should not be angry I agree if its a good breakup.
It does not feel like Alena is doing any guilt-tripping actually. It is her defenders, they are those that try to guilt-trip Spatial. I was speaking in the context where the one that attempted suicide acted like that, but Alena is not doing it herself.
Why should you care about someone that does not care about you? You said it is not the suiciders duty to care about those he hurts, well if that is the case then neither is anyone elses duty to care about your suicide and everyone can be as angry as they wish. You condemn the people who do not show empathy but instead feel spited, as if they expect that random strangers won't kill themselves for their benefit, but it is about those close to you, not randoms. If you do not care about them, then they shouldn't care about you or give you the support you mention.
I can understand having empathy toward your fellow human being and why you are angry at people who put their feefees over the life of someone. But you do not understand having anger towards a friend who hurt you. Both apply at the same time.
I doubt Spatial puts his feelings over Alenas life, but obv I won't talk for him. The way I see it: you feel pain and loss when someone suicides and that's a burden on you that the suicider either did not think about or decided its worth it. In both cases the suicider disregards the emotions of their friend to relief theirs. The reason your friends do not want you to kill yourself is that they will feel pain if you do. The reason random strangers don't care about it, is that they do won't feel the pain, as they never invested their care or trust in you. You can argue the friends are selfish too and they are, but suicide is permanent and it is the ultimate loss, even if your friends break their friendship, it is not the ultimate loss. There is nothing worse, so they have no way to accept it.
Maybe if your friends viewed suicide as a good option I would see your point more clearly. I do not. If I believed that suicide is the right choice, I could accept it. But I do not believe in religions or that killing yourself is how you should relief yourself. Unless you have an incurable disease that makes your life misery. So when someone kills themselves for other reasons, I just see it as a quick fix that they chose and hurt their friends in the process.
