What dissociation feel like - 3 - Sociopath Community

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by Blanc

on 8/10/2019

Posts: 9417

An obvious one

sometimes it feels like my limbs or hands are not attached my body

by Blanc

on 8/12/2019

Posts: 9417

the description at the beginning of this song is 100% all accurate AFFF

by Blanc

on 8/16/2019

Posts: 9417

@2:38 they start dissociating

and then the rest of the video they're just dissociating and trying to explain what dissociation feels like, vaguely.

if this were me I wouldn't be able to even film while this was happening or talk much. but this is sort of what it can look like for some people. and the way they describe everything in this video like, not being able to do homework etc... and the symptoms they make note of are all very accurate.

it can start this way and get worse, to a point where i'm just like doubled over, and at that point i'm pretty much in outter space, and can't get any bearings right.

its as if all senses are distorted, like, even the sense of where you are in the space you occupy and the shape of your own form, the lightness, density of it becomes completely distorted and you feel in your head space, very floaty while your physical body distorts and contorts, and everything around you just feels like it's not grounded or you're not anchored to it like you migh tjust float away up into the sky or dissapear into vapors or something

you can't get your bearings on like, your physical self or your senses and so that's why they call it, "grounding exercises"

and usually at this point it's so intense that, i'm not aware of any sound or anything going on around me and everything is just darkness and i'm like trying to sort out my three dimensional self and get the dissociative floatiness inside to go away and to feel grounded again at least somewhat

but its hard because you also are extremely drained by this happening, it feels like all the life and energy has been sucked from you brain just, zapped pretty quickly as if someone sucked it all out with a straw during the process in which you started dissociating to the point that you're like blacked out and head between the knees.

and so because of this it's extremely difficult to keep control of your consciousness or muscles. and your arms will drop to your side and your neck relaxes and you can't hold your head up, and as you waver in and out of consciousness trying to get a grip, you become so drained by this process and so "pulled" by the floaty feeling inside your head and your body (like a black hole sucking you away from inside itself)

that you eventually go out completely and pass out. despite efforts to ground and come to.

@5:15

this is more of a better example of the sort of "losing consciousness completely" aspect of dissociation that happens from a switch

the person holding the camera actually dissociates pretty much in mid sentence

starts sounding a bit drunk slurring a bit saying, "i'm sorry jeremy"

and that is accurate like, when i get in a severe dissociation i wont' be able to talk without slurring, if i make an attempt to- and it's not possible to like listen to what anyone is saying very well.

it just is like, patchy radio signal but- with your own consciousness entirely. and everything sounds like it's in en echo chamber and also under water... vision blurs. it's like the lights are flickering preventing you from seeing glimpses of whats around you.

like if i look to my left and try to see my mom (which is difficult to focus on or like move my neck because everything feels heavy like sandpaper and motor/muscular movements are like trying to operate a car with no power steering).. and she was taling to me saying, "i think you should go lie down. i had a friend once who acted like this and it's because they just were sleep deprived!"

but all i would get is-

mom: "i- *blackness* i had a friend- *blackness* they wereeee juss- t -tt *distortion then blackness* reivivefaddfa---fa,z...... *all distortion gets worse*"

me-passes back out

@1:02:00

example of "the drop" aka passing out

you can see the heaviness and the distortion kicking in as they blink, then keep blinking trying to keep focus but they fade out rather quickly.

last edit on 8/16/2019 9:31:08 PM

by Blanc

on 8/16/2019

Posts: 9417

@1:31:00 this is what trying to "stay with it" during a PTSD melt down looks like

(well, it's one way. there are many ways people experience PTSD unfortunately)

this happens a lot with the emotional flashbacks for me. It's like I'm trying to talk, and just not htink about anything but. You can't.

People in the comments are trying to help her escape the flashbacks and symptoms by telling her to look at the orchid in the background and smell the candle but- it doesn't work.

Sometimes the grounding efforts don't always work right away, and it's very difficult, to fight it off this way. It's not like "oh i smelled a candle and now i'm fine."

it's more like, about as difficult as trying to run through thick mud is what it feels like trying to "cope" with these things in your mind, aka get them to stop.

a lot of emotion comes flooding to the surface (attached with flashnbacks that aren't controllable) and that's why she's not able to keep composure, so you can't think straight at alllll. and your thoughts become scattered. it's frustrating to fight so, i think she just got frustrated and started becoming even more upset by the fact she couldn't get her focus back and feel normal again right away.

sometimes when this happens you just have to fold, and let the panic attack rush over your or, the emotion whatever and cry it out. and just let the flashback run its course. it's debilitating. after this happens you usually have to go to sleep because you're so drained from the process.

last edit on 8/16/2019 9:50:36 PM