Sociopath Community

Tryptamine said: 

I journal as well, but it's not for self-expression; it's to keep track of my thoughts and patterns. If your aim is self-expression, I'm not sure what writing one-off posts that no one (not even yourself) reads is supposed to do. It can be cathartic to express something. But since we're social animals, expression falls short if it doesn't somehow integrate into your social life.

if you were trying to do that then you might not want to write your posts like this

because to other people it seems meandering and just like

hard to follow, missing a plot. a series of tangents

But if you could compress your writing a bit, keep it on track...I think it would be read more. Then you might get input. Although, it may just end up with people telling you that you exaggerate your problems and never put real effort into solving them, or listening to advice.

 Oh god I bet you write some nasty thoughts in there you horny slut

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

thats what journaling is, you write to people who don't exist. 

So you're... trying to prove things to people who don't exist..?

That's a next tier level of persecution complexity. 

 

 Nope never said I was trying to prove anything to anyone, I said it's not about the diagnosis, it's about why I journal. Which I've stated, the reasons why, for pages now. 

It has constructive progressive purpose. It's just, what I do. Why can't you accept that? 

Blanc said: 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

thats what journaling is, you write to people who don't exist. 

So you're... trying to prove things to people who don't exist..?

That's a next tier level of persecution complexity. 

 

 Nope never said I was trying to prove anything to anyone, I said it's not about the diagnosis, it's about why I journal. Which I've stated, the reasons why, for pages now. 

It has constructive progressive purpose. It's just, what I do. Why can't you accept that? 

 I accept you blanciepoo ur the bestest!! hahahaha!!  

Tryptamine said: 

I journal as well, but it's not for self-expression; it's to keep track of my thoughts and patterns.

Same. It's for lots of things. Mutli-purpose journaling. 

 

you might not want to write your posts like this

because to other people it seems meandering and just like

hard to follow, missing a plot. a series of tangents

Good advice, but journals are kind of the place where it's like, a "free-write" and you just shat out whatever you will. If I wanted to publish a book for people to read and enjoy as entertainment obviously is would be done "better" with a conscious effort put into how it's read. 

These are, the raw format. 

Lots of authors have, journals- in addition to the content they wrote with "intention", that were published as books. It's okay to have both. That's what this is. 

I started writing content with "intention" that were labelled as chapters on old SC but that got wiped. But it was like, a story line, a plot, and read more like a book would. So that it, keeps interest. 

But if you could compress your writing a bit, keep it on track...I think it would be read more.

Yeah but, just like sometimes runners need to just run, sometimes I just need to write. Write pages and pages and get it all out. I don't see why everyone's so insistent on telling me what to do, it's okay to free-write sometimes. But if what you're requesting is more legible "entertainment value" styled writing, that are carved out of my journal posts, I can do that too but, it would be quite the project to take on. 

Then you might get input. Although, it may just end up with people telling you that you exaggerate your problems and never put real effort into solving them, or listening to advice. 

Oh yeah, I've been doing this for years so, I'm very used to all the "flack" I get, hey- it's the internet, and, it's people. Hah, you're going to always get this kind of commentary. I've gotten very used to it. 

So, life update. I burned the ever living shit out of my hand. 

I've been really tired so I slept an entire day, and then slept through the night as well. It's now 4am. One hour off from a good wake up time. 

I'm drinking coffee, but I don't know how much it is doing for me. I don't know if I would call it tired, or just "calm." 

Luckily an iced coffee cup doubles as a uh, ice pack. And it's keeping my hand from hurting. Which- it does quite a lot. 

It is seering pain. Feels like it is constantly burning. I burned 4 of the five fingers. In their entirety. Thank god I pick up things with my pinky up... *face palm* or it would be all five. 

*eye roll* 

Trying not to scream. It hurts, a lot. Lol

I have to keep taking a break from writing to put the hand back on the icy cup. lol 

Anyways, I've just rearranged my room in my parents house to be, mine again. It's where I'm staying because of the "shelter in place" ordinance. They've upped Florida's from just a nightly curfew from 11pm-5am to now, a full lockdown. 

No one can leave their houses, unless you work in health care etc. Crucial departments. 

So I'm staying here because, I need the human contact honestly. I felt like I was starting to get a little mentally detached in my apartment all alone. My friend for the end of the world was supposed to be my room mate but, he overdosed and is now at a rehab facility. Supposedly. Just heard from his dad. 

I'm also here because all the food is here. And, my dogs are here. 

My dog is sitting on the bed all curled up and cozy. I have my coffee and I'm sitting at my little desk in the corner... make shift desk set up. With my computer for playing endless sims. And drinking coffee and burning candles. 

I really want to buy the Animal crossing new horizons and Nintendo switch to keep me busy during this quarantine period. 

Could be a week, could be two weeks... who knows. 

I'm very very hopeful about the vaccine, and the treatments we do have- though it's not much, are semi-helpful. 

I think once we have a vaccine we maybe can return to normalcy and we can all go, "whew, that was close." 

"Almost lost a fourth of our population, whew." 

And wipe the sweat off our brows. 

I just don't think that our government would invest millions into furthering the production of a vaccine that did not sound very very promising. Let's put it that way. 

Until then we really do need to shelter in place to prevent further mutation, as anything more lethal than the L strain I honestly can't fathom. You think this is a pandemic now, just you wait. 

But it would make the hard work of the scientists who made this vaccine, completely obsolete as well. If we allowed it to mutate. 

So until then, we really are just going to have to find new ways of functioning, and living. 

Fortunately UV lights to eradicate the virus in its entirety in the blink of an eye. So, it would be a massive shift but, we would have to likely implement these *everywhere* 

Massive shifts can be done. We went from churning butter to snapchat, we went from smoking on planes to full detail security in every airport in the globe. 

Sometimes things change, but that's what we do as humans anyway. We're capable of managing this going forward. It would just be a different world. Maybe for the better. 

Blanc said: 

So, life update. I burned the ever living shit out of my hand. 

 

 Tryp burnt his finger about 7 or 8 months ago I believe. 

Blanc said: 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

I just keep a log of the YouTube videos I *liked* the way they explained things so that it can be *explained* to other people who are less knowledgable about the disorders and their correlative symptoms which I am talking about.

What other people? 

thats what journaling is, you write to people who don't exist. 

So you're... trying to prove things to people who don't exist..?

That's a next tier level of persecution complexity. 

Nope never said I was trying to prove anything to anyone, I said it's not about the diagnosis, it's about why I journal. Which I've stated, the reasons why, for pages now. 

It has constructive progressive purpose. It's just, what I do. Why can't you accept that? 

If the above is as it appears, it... looks like you said that you have to explain things to non-existent people, which with your uncompromising attitude on the matter is about proving something. 

How would you even know if your material is or isn't about proving things when you can't even remember your own older posts and can't hear your own thoughts? Do you just baselessly assume it's not in your character? 

So why are you trying to convince figments and ghosts, Blanc?

Is it over how people in real life won't listen, so you have to talk to imaginary people who juuuust might? 

Turncoat said: 

So why are you trying to convince figments and ghosts, Blanc?

I'm not I've explained the purpose of the journaling at length, go read it again if you don't get why I do it because I've exhausted all explanation as to why I journal. It's not to convince figments or ghosts, you're just not getting the concept I tried to explain. 

 

Is it over how people in real life won't listen, so you have to talk to imaginary people who juuuust might? 

Was that listed as one of the reasons why I journal? Then no.

I'm going to go ahead and close this topic of discussion and walk away from it, as I've explained at length the reason I journal, and there is no further explaining I can do at this point, I will just be repeating myself. 

If you want to know why I journal that badly, you can read the pages and pages of response I wrote about it posted in this thread. 

Turncoat said: 

So why are you trying to convince figments and ghosts, Blanc?

Is it over how people in real life won't listen, so you have to talk to imaginary people who juuuust might? 

 What she is doing is the embodiment of the absurd struggle, speaking into the void without expecting, or wanting anyone to listen. Journaling like this is her boulder, and she's happy with it!

Using the site for the same purpose as https://screamintothevoid.com/