Sociopath Community

So yeah, that. 

What do you get out of peddling this? 

She talks really fast but this makes a lot of sense 

no one has explained dissociation this way to me 

unstoppable

dissociation is a very normal part of PTSD, me trying to understand it isn't uncalled for. 

as I go through the process of pinpointing which exact type of dissociation I experience and understanding it from a neuropsychological perspective, please understand that this is just an attempt in analysis and self discovery. 

and by posting research, or videos, etc. It's just information gathering. 

By posting journals relative to my mental health, it's just information "logging." 

to make sure it's all there. 

blanc has friends in high places 

the process of journaling when you dissociate is recommended by therapists who are treating people with dissociative disorders, borderline personality, and ptsd. 

this is to bring self awareness and to better help the person develop the tools necessary to bring this mental health problem to a point where it is learned to be more manageable. 

the process of awareness and note taking in and of itself is part of the therapeutic treatment process as well, is part of the dialectical behavioral therapeutic approach. 

how can you change a behavior if you are not aware of its patterns and when it occurs. 

this isn't necessarily eradicating the trauma or the mental health disorder, "healing it" or "curing it" but it's a process of managing it. 

part of me thinks writing it all down helps, another part of me thinks maybe it's pointless. 

How could I really know, as I'm not an expert in the field of psychology. 

this is all just a stab in the dark but, I do think journaling has it's benefits. 

at the very least, it's helping me to have information to relay back to my therapist- because I forget about these things happening during the week. I "space out" once I'm in the chair, and I have to talk. 

And tend to give the appearance everything is completely fine. When there's a lot more going on that they don't see. 

So if I write it all down, it helps with recalling, "ah yes, these are my pages of notes I wanted to talk about." 

I can be forgetful of my own trauma at times, and so my therapist has to write it all down. Because if she brings it up later, I may sit there for 15 minutes saying "I don't... remember that." And as hard as she tries to get me to remember, it may take a while, (she has to "bring me to that place") or, it just won't be possible and we give up on it and she says, "lets just save that for another week." 

There is a lot of "let's just save that for another week." and, it can become impossible to keep track of, the things we go over, what we haven't gone over, what we want to save for later. etc. Because of the nature of the appointments we're often running out of time. 

So recording everything down really helps make sure nothing falls through the cracks. 

Once information reveals itself to me, I know it very well could be gone tomorrow, or a few months from now, etc. 

I just have to assume I will forget everything, because I don't know which things I'm going to forget. 

So I write down what's relevant, or, sometimes I just write to write. Kind of like zentangling or doodling, it can be a very introspective and enlightening experience- or a way or processing or dealing/coping with, things. 

aight thanks

Blanc said: 

aight thanks

Why do you watch hundreds of videos on your disorder incessantly? 

Like shit, I understand looking into it at all, but I can't help but feel I'd be behaving more classically schizophrenic if I kept reinforcing the diagnosis criteria through relatable videos. The narratives have the room for you to begin parroting them if it otherwise resonates within some part of you enough to trigger a similar response, even if it's over an unrelated Dx such as a fictitious disorder or simply misunderstanding a feeling like calling sadness depression.

This shit on loop isn't healthy, it's self-indulgent and emotionally masochistic through it's room to confirm the things you're looking for. It unconsciously tells you who to model after to reinforce your worldview. 

What would it take for you to consider that it's actually a display of a fictitious disorder? It's not that you're being called a liar, you're instead being called mistaken and clearly confused, which isn't a hard idea to swallow when you claim to be unable to hear your own thoughts over what's really a problem with your ability to process memories... to the point of near-constant improvisation that contrasts with your know-it-all attitude. 

Seriously, read over your older materials as if they were someone else. All. Of. Them. You tend to be ever so slightly sharper when you aren't self-directing, so act like "Blanc is just a character" for a second. It's liable to improve your stream of consciousness blog vomit towards something actually constructive. 

Unless of course you'd rather just sit there venting instead of fixing your issues.