Sociopath Community

Sintetika said: 

 it's not a cult, im not in a cult, i know what a cult is.

Not to be that guy, but... that sounds just like what someone in a cult would say.

Scientologists are still largely a part of our world, but they are still falling into cult doctrines anyway through another means. They even have their own hospitals and businesses. 

i've given you videos to try to explain my stance without having to do it in long ass paragraphs that would make this process even longer, none of this video displays the nature of the group or any marxist community i am in.

I mean even with the videos I wouldn't know any of this from watching Youtube information. 

This just tells me the rhetoric that is it's faith's backbone. The way you follow it otherwise is bordering on mindless, as thinking about it this hard shouldn't be hurting you this much. 

we look at society, we look at the conditions of society. if i could think harder right now, i'd help explain it a bit more, but im telling you, these beliefs i have are not stemmed from some isolated group telling me what to think,

All cults look at society and offer room for how to critique it, even one as wholesome and friendly as Unicult. Most even refer to things we take for granted as mental illnesses similarly to your own path being taken. Many will die similarly for their causes as you sound like you're ready to, and all that so far serves to separate the two is that you aren't drinking poisoned kool-aid in a holy pair of Nike's shoes. It's really not that different, there just happens to be a stronger piece of source material that you are treating as your Bible. 

Scientology rooted from a Science Fiction novelist, it can come from anywhere as long as the brainhack practices are a part of it. I've even seen furries snagged into harems over fucking with compliance heuristics. 

i've come to these conclusions on my own research, that's how i found more like me and discussing and sharing ideas and learning more through that.

I wouldn't know, I only have your word on it and their conversations with you were liable to mutate your views through unconscious "like-mind" modeling.

Memory is a fragile and malleable thing, it's easy to not notice when your memories and ideas are shifting into something similar. When we conjure a memory, we're effectively taking it out of it's once mint condition casing and allowing it to get covered in all sorts of memory smudges based on your current environment, current mood, and whatever memories are otherwise floating around alongside it. When you put the memory back, it reflects these mutations without your knowledge from lacking what the memory once was as a comparison. This is how to subtly budge someone towards your line of thinking over a long period of time, outright rewriting memories and gaslighting them until all that's left is the mutant. 

Regardless though, it's not hard to take a piece of meaningful literature and find some extremists who have perverted the texts into something more to their liking. Most hardcore followers of a book (as opposed to it's words alone) will notice the referential quoting and get sucked into whatever orders follow after. 

i wish i was a better marxist and in general better at explaining and debating so, i could fully give you what i mean.

I'd rather have what you believe than the accuracy of the rhetoric anyway. Your perspective on Marxism is just that, a perspective, and since figuring you out is the goal I'd rather have your potentially flawed versions than the raw texts. 

maybe i need to start re-reading again, and take more notes and study hard and give myself questions.

This sounds more like reinforcing what's already there (before your followup anyway). 

I'd recommend spreading further, ideally through Alan Watts. He's basically hyperfocused satori triggering. 

that doesn't mean i wouldn't isolate myself from other works.

What ones do you have in mind? 

please for the love of something, watch the video i sent on the contradictions, it's a mix of hegelian dialectics and feurbach materialism, hence dialectical materialism.

I will, but I still haven't slept since I last said I'll rest and get back to you on it. 

i will respond more later or even tomorrow, but right now, i can't even think straight i just have headahce

That's concerning but I'd still say these pains are largely in your best interests. 

Turncoat said:

Not to be that guy, but... that sounds just like what someone in a cult would say.

Scientologists are still largely a part of our world, but they are still falling into cult doctrines anyway through another means. They even have their own hospitals and businesses.

 I'm done responding to this, I don't know how else to convince you that I am not in a cult.

Turncoat said:

I mean even with the videos I wouldn't know any of this from watching Youtube information.

This just tells me the rhetoric that is it's faith's backbone. The way you follow it otherwise is bordering on mindless, as thinking about it this hard shouldn't be hurting you this much.

 I focus on the more economic sides of the ideology, mainly as the anti-capitalist stance, in regards to it's philosophy, I do understand it to an extent, but my memory is a rusty one and flawed one. See, for a long time I isolated myself from marxism and even what you call a "cult" so for a long time. I even tried to develop my own ideology basing it off of marxism, but later found what I called for was just redunancies and unecessary. I've been trying to piece back together my knowledge of marxism. While I like debate, I admit it's harder for me to debate when you're also trying to analyze my mind and my past. 

Turncoat said:

I wouldn't know, I only have your word on it and their conversations with you were liable to mutate your views through unconscious "like-mind" modeling.

Memory is a fragile and malleable thing, it's easy to not notice when your memories and ideas are shifting into something similar. When we conjure a memory, we're effectively taking it out of it's once mint condition casing and allowing it to get covered in all sorts of memory smudges based on your current environment, current mood, and whatever memories are otherwise floating around alongside it. When you put the memory back, it reflects these mutations without your knowledge from lacking what the memory once was as a comparison. This is how to subtly budge someone towards your line of thinking over a long period of time, outright rewriting memories and gaslighting them until all that's left is the mutant.

Regardless though, it's not hard to take a piece of meaningful literature and find some extremists who have perverted the texts into something more to their liking. Most hardcore followers of a book (as opposed to it's words alone) will notice the referential quoting and get sucked into whatever orders follow after.

 I spoke to them not in person, technically every single detail of information of them "supposedly" manipulating me is still in my conversations with them. They didn't try to influence my views. I met them through marxist circles and we came together to form this group. We were originally with another but we split off from them. They didn't seek me out, isolate me, and all talk to me trying to change my views. 

Turncoat said:

I'd rather have what you believe than the accuracy of the rhetoric anyway. Your perspective on Marxism is just that, a perspective, and since figuring you out is the goal I'd rather have your potentially flawed versions than the raw texts.

 Okay fine, I will give you that maybe tomorrow though, because I'm actually getting tired and you are exhausting me.

Turncoat said:

What ones do you have in mind?

 I'm speaking of relooking into other ideologies in general, such as fascism, conversatism and liberalism, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

Turncoat said:

That's concerning but I'd still say these pains are largely in your best interests.

 I don't know how pains and headaches that stop be from being able to function properly are good for me.

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

Not to be that guy, but... that sounds just like what someone in a cult would say.

Scientologists are still largely a part of our world, but they are still falling into cult doctrines anyway through another means. They even have their own hospitals and businesses.

 I'm done responding to this, I don't know how else to convince you that I am not in a cult.

You don't have to, I'm just offering you warnings. 

Even if your group isn't, Boot Camp offers you very similar risks. I'm otherwise more commenting on your behaviors and tendencies more so than the group itself, as I largely lack those details while I do meanwhile have your feelings and ideas of how to follow something and how to avoid what you dislike. 

Turncoat said:

I mean even with the videos I wouldn't know any of this from watching Youtube information.

This just tells me the rhetoric that is it's faith's backbone. The way you follow it otherwise is bordering on mindless, as thinking about it this hard shouldn't be hurting you this much.

I focus on the more economic sides of the ideology, mainly as the anti-capitalist stance, in regards to it's philosophy, I do understand it to an extent, but my memory is a rusty one and flawed one.

I've been trying to piece back together my knowledge of marxism.

You'd... follow a path where your knowledge of the material's gone rusty if not forgotten? 

How is this different from being a run of the mill Bible Thumper with a different book in-hand? 

See, for a long time I isolated myself from marxism and even what you call a "cult" so for a long time. I even tried to develop my own ideology basing it off of marxism, but later found what I called for was just redunancies and unecessary. 

This happened with me from my steps from Atheism towards Nihilism. I'd already been largely Nihilist, but without that label I just focused on the "Anti-faith" aspect of it. 

There may be a label out there that's more "you" than Marxism, maybe a splinter sect or mutation of it, or perhaps you're the one meant to rewrite it into a more modernly relevant direction. 

It's always worth exploring all paths to find where, specifically, that you sit. Blanket faiths and statements are dangerous and allow for shortcut heuristics that rid us of our self control, while a well formulated pieced together argument that borrows from multiple paths serves to offer a more self-relevant fusion of that which matters to you. 

My Nihilism is not quite textbook, instead my own findings when clashed against other's beliefs enough times to rehearse them into a part that is truly a facet of my being instead of just parroting Nietzsche (haven't read much of him, don't really want to). As a result, I find myself having an easier time bridging my faith towards my fellow man through their language instead of some sub-codex wording that people are more liable to tune out if they lack the material in the first place. 

I've found myself using mutually witnessed media as my combined pool of information, my mutual voice, with people. In many cases they can serve as a relative example of your own thoughts that are just dissimilar enough to make it more readily translated for other people unlike yourself. 

While I like debate, I admit it's harder for me to debate when you're also trying to analyze my mind and my past. 

Why? You've stressed repeatedly that it was in the past that you picked this stuff up in the first place. 

The two are interrelational, they are intertwined. To understand one is to understand the other, and to miss one is to shroud the other. 

Turncoat said:

I wouldn't know, I only have your word on it and their conversations with you were liable to mutate your views through unconscious "like-mind" modeling.

Memory is a fragile and malleable thing, it's easy to not notice when your memories and ideas are shifting into something similar. When we conjure a memory, we're effectively taking it out of it's once mint condition casing and allowing it to get covered in all sorts of memory smudges based on your current environment, current mood, and whatever memories are otherwise floating around alongside it. When you put the memory back, it reflects these mutations without your knowledge from lacking what the memory once was as a comparison. This is how to subtly budge someone towards your line of thinking over a long period of time, outright rewriting memories and gaslighting them until all that's left is the mutant.

Regardless though, it's not hard to take a piece of meaningful literature and find some extremists who have perverted the texts into something more to their liking. Most hardcore followers of a book (as opposed to it's words alone) will notice the referential quoting and get sucked into whatever orders follow after.

I spoke to them not in person, technically every single detail of information of them "supposedly" manipulating me is still in my conversations with them. They didn't try to influence my views.

Bullshit, that's all people do and now you're part of a group as a result of them convincing you it was worth it. 

I met them through marxist circles and we came together to form this group. We were originally with another but we split off from them. They didn't seek me out, isolate me, and all talk to me trying to change my views. 

Please tell me this is shrouded in the DeepWeb and not publicly somewhere people can find. 

Turncoat said:

I'd rather have what you believe than the accuracy of the rhetoric anyway. Your perspective on Marxism is just that, a perspective, and since figuring you out is the goal I'd rather have your potentially flawed versions than the raw texts.

Okay fine, I will give you that maybe tomorrow though, because I'm actually getting tired and you are exhausting me.

Turncoat said:

What ones do you have in mind?

I'm speaking of relooking into other ideologies in general, such as fascism, conversatism and liberalism, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

So no Existentialism then, just... basic political parties that can help serve to have you keep not noticing yourself..? 

This is unhealthy imo. Instead of shrouding yourself in Knowledge, you ought to be seeking out Wisdom instead, and that comes through analysis of the self. Seriously man, let yourself look at yourself. You need to see your core sense of self if you are to avoid just being a mindless drone for "The System" under a different label. 

Turncoat said:

That's concerning but I'd still say these pains are largely in your best interests.

 I don't know how pains and headaches that stop me from being able to function properly are good for me.

You need to deconstruct what's there in order to build it back stronger than before. If you just build shit exterior to what's inside it'll remain as is, and as they shed those exterior layers all that will be left are your weaknesses made bare. 

You can't grow by being comfortable all the time. You said you need pain and sacrifice to get away from your laziness habits, why not the flaws in other habits as well? 

Nothing teaches lessons better than pain. 

Turncoat said:

Please tell me this is shrouded in the DeepWeb and not publicly somewhere people can find.

No elaboration.

 

Turncoat said:

So no Existentialism then, just... basic political parties that can help serve to have you keep not noticing yourself..?

This is unhealthy imo. Instead of shrouding yourself in Knowledge, you ought to be seeking out Wisdom instead, and that comes through analysis of the self. Seriously man, let yourself look at yourself. You need to see your core sense of self if you are to avoid just being a mindless drone for "The System" under a different label.

 Sure, I'll look into other philosophies, for very limited short time, while in my semester at college, I almost became an Egoist. (Referring to Stirner's philosophy)

I don't know what you're asking to analyze about myself, I don't understand what you're asking me to open up about. I thought I've been open this whole time, but apparently not? I don't know what you mean by looking into myself. 

Turncoat said:

You need to deconstruct what's there in order to build it back stronger than before. If you just build shit exterior to what's inside it'll remain as is, and as they shed those exterior layers all that will be left are your weaknesses made bare.

You can't grow by being comfortable all the time. You said you need pain and sacrifice to get away from your laziness habits, why not the flaws in other habits as well?

Nothing teaches lessons better than pain.

 I'm aware that you learn through trial and error. What are you asking me to do to though? What are the steps to look inside myself? I can't comprehend what you're saying because it sounds foreign to me. I thought I knew myself pretty well, but according to you, I don't. 

I would ask for you to simplify any questions you might have and simplify the steps to "looking inside one self"

Turncoat said:

You'd... follow a path where your knowledge of the material's gone rusty if not forgotten?

How is this different from being a run of the mill Bible Thumper with a different book in-hand?

 For the time being, most of my views are in line with it. I'm refreshing my memory in general. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

You'd... follow a path where your knowledge of the material's gone rusty if not forgotten?

How is this different from being a run of the mill Bible Thumper with a different book in-hand?

 For the time being, most of my views are in line with it. I'm refreshing my memory in general. 

I could never follow something that way, that's like signing a contract without reading all the fine print first. 

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

Please tell me this is shrouded in the DeepWeb and not publicly somewhere people can find.

No elaboration.

Gotcha gotcha. 

Turncoat said:

So no Existentialism then, just... basic political parties that can help serve to have you keep not noticing yourself..?

This is unhealthy imo. Instead of shrouding yourself in Knowledge, you ought to be seeking out Wisdom instead, and that comes through analysis of the self. Seriously man, let yourself look at yourself. You need to see your core sense of self if you are to avoid just being a mindless drone for "The System" under a different label.

Sure, I'll look into other philosophies, for very limited short time, while in my semester at college, I almost became an Egoist. (Referring to Stirner's philosophy)

Egoism is better as a symptom of something else than as a perspective solely on it's own. Solipsism meanwhile in it's lesser expressions is merely knowing that the we can only understand the world through ourselves. 

We are not the center of the universe, but we are the center of our own. Still though going from Egoist to Marxist is kind of like quitting Meatatarianism and substituting it with Fruititarianism; Sure it might look good on paper, but it's jumping from one extreme to another with little mid-ground, a mid-ground that if found would yield a more mature dietary perspective. 

I don't know what you're asking to analyze about myself, I don't understand what you're asking me to open up about. I thought I've been open this whole time, but apparently not? I don't know what you mean by looking into myself. 

You're open with what you believe and what you've studied, but you haven't dug much deeper than that. 

You grasp exterior substance, that of knowledge, but your experiences are lacking in depth. Sure you can tell me what you've read lately and what you had for breakfast this morning, but you have no means of elaborating on the why without hurting yourself in your present form. 

Your mind's like gigantic textbook trying to sumo press or otherwise conceal a human being. 

Turncoat said:

You need to deconstruct what's there in order to build it back stronger than before. If you just build shit exterior to what's inside it'll remain as is, and as they shed those exterior layers all that will be left are your weaknesses made bare.

You can't grow by being comfortable all the time. You said you need pain and sacrifice to get away from your laziness habits, why not the flaws in other habits as well?

Nothing teaches lessons better than pain.

I'm aware that you learn through trial and error. What are you asking me to do to though? What are the steps to look inside myself?

Supersaturating yourself with Alan Watts. 

He is genius in his ability to use much simpler language than I can to demonstrate points larger than I could hope to. If you want to understand me and as a result be that much more prepared for where I'm coming from, check his rhetoric. 

I can't comprehend what you're saying because it sounds foreign to me. I thought I knew myself pretty well, but according to you, I don't. 

You really don't, you just know somewhat of yourself. 

It's like you're reading a newspaper about you instead of actually just being yourself. Knowledge is detached, you won't learn everything there is to yourself with that alone. 

I would ask for you to simplify any questions you might have and simplify the steps to "looking inside one self"

If it was simple you wouldn't need me or anyone else to help you figure it out, it'd be inherent. 

Depth is complicated, but without depth everything's worthless and mundane. 

Do I have to speak on all of this in the openness of this thread in order to achieve whatever it is you're wanting me to achieve or is it possible to have a personal discussion perhaps on a discord DM, because one, that's more real time, rather than these posts that can happen while we're both typing and jumble up the order questions. 


I will be fine with having a private talk, but I'm getting sick of this thread by thread stuff, 

Why should I open up to you however? What makes you trustworthy? How do I know that you won't try to fuck me over? 

Sintetika said: 

Do I have to speak on all of this in the openness of this thread in order to achieve whatever it is you're wanting me to achieve or is it possible to have a personal discussion perhaps on a discord DM

If you're asking in my personal opinion? I think it'd be better for your future well being to be tested by an audience of critics. 

Speaking as someone who's gone on about my disorders and former PTSD drama at length publicly, I've found it to be an exercise in building towards a stronger, more tenacious sense of self that doesn't have to give as many shits about what other people think. By putting my weaknesses out there for others to see it's me that establishes it instead of another doing it against me and in a trial-by-fire fashion I can see how it tests versus a lot of people who are liable to cuss me out if not mock me for demonstrating very real feelings in a forum that's otherwise predominantly faked apathy compensation. 

There is more strength in expression than there is in repression, and if they can't hurt me any more than I've hurt myself then I have a relative, stress tested gauge for how much I can handle things. From there I can decide what to do about still being too weak until it eventually hits acceptable levels. It offers me less confusion in being able to apply a measurement to my weaknesses instead of just sitting there wondering about them. They had to be tested or I just wouldn't know what they are. I don't understand how you'd want to leave your own weaknesses a mystery other than sheer carelessness. 

I largely find things like shamelessness to be the truest form of self-expression, it is so pure and untouched by judgement and the environment around them. Having "a code" is justification for living with yourself, while sheer audacity is freedom that doesn't have to be disgusting in it's display (it doesn't have to be deviancy to be audacity). As an artist, thespian, and practitioner of psychology, expression to me is pretty much everything. 

Of course though I'd be liable to say that from a former basis of obsessive behaviors that, through embracing this ideology, went away one by one until I became significantly more functional. For example, uneven sleeves or stepping on cracks is no longer enough to ruin my day, and that discovery could only be found through a loud protesting "Who cares, none of this matters, just do you". 

Our believed toils of existence are often self inflicted. SC for me has been largely therapeutic in relation to my strengths and self-acceptance, as well as a path towards a surprising amount of growth paths I never could have planned for. That in itself's helped me become less rigid and more spontaneous. This place to some is family, to others it's self help, and to others still it's a cursed well of debauchery and sorrow that serves to lower themselves by even just standing next to it. Ultimately, you get out of this place what you put into it. 

So, what's there to be afraid of as long as we keep it to [Politics A], [Politics B], [etc] in less specific ways to get to the heart of you? You scared of being seen in a vulnerable state in front of other people? Why should you care what they think about you that much beyond direct irl consequences? We don't even have your actual name or anything, so the means of bridging what you say here to your real life physical form is difficult. 

Getting used to how fear feels is like adjusting to a hot sauna; You have to let yourself experience it enough to grow adjusted to it. Airing out your insecurities and issues in the public domain is one of the best ways to get over yourself and find catharsis in it's release down the road. 

If I hadn't had peers to work off of, I'd be completely delusional. There is nothing worse than leaving it to the imagination, as it's the quickest way to lose touch with reality. 

because one, that's more real time, rather than these posts that can happen while we're both typing and jumble up the order questions. 


I will be fine with having a private talk, but I'm getting sick of this thread by thread stuff, 

Don't like an audience? 

I find that pressure to be at points like a truth serum, only instead of truth it's elaboration. It forces what's said to be established and faced instead of hidden away to enable weaknesses and fears further. 

Even my having my avatar at this level of detail is me trying to face vanity issues passively in front of an audience of people I'd project my own self-judgement upon as if it were their views. Art school teaches hardcore how to resist the scathing burn scars that come standard with critique, and I think those practices can serve to be modeled onto most aspects of life. If we cannot face what's thrown at us, we'll buckle instead, and unless you play the role of the professional victim there's no advantages in that. 
 

Sintetika said: 

Why should I open up to you however? What makes you trustworthy? How do I know that you won't try to fuck me over? 

You don't know that, and you're welcome to stop at any time. The only way I can prove myself to you in one way or another really is time and a consistency basis. 

Asking a diagnosed paranoid type how to gauge trustworthiness though is like asking me to write a dissertation. Trust or not I'll still listen to them, but that's because I see enemies as having just as much to teach as allies. 

Trust to me is more about gauging how much I can pre-expect out of them, but I need to spend time seeing who they are in order to see if they are worth that trust.

Still, as a basic rule of thumb I prefer people who speak their minds in a real way over those who'd do mock pleasantries that serve to slow us all down and waste our time out of some fear of the other's fragility. I don't go soft when I'm saying my shit because that wastes both your time and mine, so really I'd imagine how much you can handle me will be moreover if you decide to keep talking to me or not. 

Sintetika said:

I listened to a few alan watts videos and nothing is clicking

Which ones drew you in initially?