Sociopath Community

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

For the most part, yes. I am biased toward this OP.

No argument here. 

 

You mean like how the mutual friend did? 🤣

 The mutual friend is a nurse.

I'm sure she has her own husband/siblings/mother/friends that she could share with.

Xena said: 

Turncoat said: 

You mean like how the mutual friend did? 🤣

The mutual friend is a nurse.

I'm sure she has her own husband/siblings/mother/friends that she could share with.

So? 

"The person will share if s/he wants to share", right? 

Wow I'm amazed you're still alive lol

You came up in Chicago and you know so little about when to keep your mouth shut?

The whole point of sharing vs not sharing is about who can be trusted and what that person will do with the information.

Usually gossips can't do much. That's why they're gossips and not police officers or w/e.

But who needs the bullshit?

If too many people know my business, it's just more yapping and drooling at my ankles all the time.

It almost becomes like work to kick all the unwanted pests back to their own side of the street all the time, you know?

Occasionally, gossip can end careers and get back to people who want to do physical harm to a person.

Back to my examples, some cults and organized crime syndicates will chase people down and do nasty things to them.

Hello. Skylar White.

Or combat medic Tayra.

It's also polite to have the heart to heart talks with your bff.

Not her boyfriend.

A lot of women would see that as friend making a play for boyfriend.

I mean, if I asked a friend to keep a secret and she betrayed me like that, I might end the relationship with boyfriend if his reaction turned out to be "are you cheating on me?" He would be SO gone.

I would definitely ditch the fake backstabbing friend.

Outro said: 

So long story short, my gf and her (our mutual) friend went trail running at a place we all know well. It's usually pretty deserted, which is its appeal.

Anyway, she and the friend saw something traumatic. Someone had gassed themselves in their car in the parking lot. Had to attempt resus, call 911 etc. The man was long dead in the end (friend is a nurse). 

So my gf tells friend not to tell me. Friend does anyway.

I'm perplexed as to why gf asked not to tell me. Unclear if its because I've seen my fair share of traumatic deaths (which I thought would be an advantage), or whether its because I respond to this stuff in an undesirable way.

Its shitty - because now I know and wanna bring it up to make sure she's ok, but also don't wanna make things worse because for whatever reason, she doesn't want to talk to me about it. 

I'm thinking I've done something wrong along the way that makes me not a good confidante, but idk what it is. 

 Clearly she doesn't like the side of you that handles drama.

If you want to know what it is exactly, just recall your actions when talking to her about something far out. Maybe you just carried on in a way making her feel she's tougher than you.

In general women want to see their men inspire them when the shit hits the fan. It seems you don't do that for her.

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.

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Since you've mentioned seeing your share of tramatic deaths, ( obviously she knows that better than I do from here ) you've probably managed to convey your experience to her in such a way, you in turn shared the undesirable experience with her, and really doesn't like it whenever you get started.

I'd imagine she wished you never did that.

My recommendation...Treat this like some kind of shit test. The friend was disloyal to her, while in a sense you're being more loyal to the mutual friend. By that I mean, are you sure you're the one who knows you and your girl are keeping secrets from one another ? If you are a certain way, what makes the friend think you're not going to burst ?

Your GF was either beyrayed, or they are shit testing you. Who is the friend, another female  ?

Oh right... the dynamic changes if nurse friend is male, doesn't it?

Xena said: 

Wow I'm amazed you're still alive lol

You came up in Chicago and you know so little about when to keep your mouth shut?

I was only there for a few years, in a cushy area rather than inner-city. It was five minutes from a Metra line, I didn't go through any kind of hardcore living while I was there. 

The whole point of sharing vs not sharing is about who can be trusted and what that person will do with the information.

Yeah, and if they were once oversharing with me and then suddenly get button-lipped, it's been enough to cause questions. Nothing fatal's come of it like you seem to presume will happen over letting yourself connect with people. 

If too many people know my business, it's just more yapping and drooling at my ankles all the time.

It's such a shame that you possess such a strong distrust towards people. 

I legit have paranoia problems at a genetic level, yet you seem more concerned about privacy than I am. 

Back to my examples, some cults and organized crime syndicates will chase people down and do nasty things to them.

Bruh, I don't think either member of that couple nor the mutual friend are a part of any cults or criminal syndicates. I could be wrong, but this sounds like something straight off of TV. 

It's also polite to have the heart to heart talks with your bff.

Not her boyfriend.

It's also polite to have heart to heart talks with your S.O, rather than colluding their mutual friend. 

A lot of women would see that as friend making a play for boyfriend.

Men aren't much better off there, people are so insecure. 

I mean, if I asked a friend to keep a secret and she betrayed me like that, I might end the relationship with boyfriend if his reaction turned out to be "are you cheating on me?" He would be SO gone.

I would definitely ditch the fake backstabbing friend.

...in this scenario, are you cheating? 🤣

Perhaps the friend saw more harm in keeping the secret than sharing it, or perhaps this friend isn't one to keep secrets, and the S.O. choosing to involve the friend like that was imposing upon his or her friendship with the OP. 

Xena said: 

Oh right... the dynamic changes if nurse friend is male, doesn't it?

 Most likely yes.

Xena said: 

Oh right... the dynamic changes if nurse friend is male, doesn't it?

And here I thought you were being inclusive over bisexual possibilities. 

...tbh I also presumed at first the friend was female. 

Yes it's true.

Men are more likely to be paternalistic and tell bf to step in.

Men are also less likely to be able to guage whether a woman truly has her emotions under control.

And many of them do think we're too weak to process smthg like a dead body, or know that dead strangers are much easier to ignore than dead friends or relatives. They just think we cry over nothing all the time lol

Don't ever ask me if I'm cheating.

The very (hypothetical) fact that I'm having sex with somebody at all is one of the highest compliments I can pay them.

It's extremely rare that I get the urge to do so.

I'm very easily disgusted and prone to changing my mind.

And yeah, I hate people.

I've had sex 5 times in the last 20 years, and ditched every one of them within a few days at the slightest sign of douchebaggery.

In the last ten years, I've had the urge to hook up twice.

I changed my mind within a few weeks bc of the room full of yappy puppies effect.

Ew.

I don't need to cheat.

If I want more sex, I will simply say so.

If partner is up for it, great.

If not, then I'm done.

However, I've not had to dump a guy over his stupid insecurity in closer to 30 years.