Sociopath Community

Xena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

So no, don't bring it up.

She saw a dead stranger in his car, big deal ~

She does not need your help to get over it.

Shoe on the other foot, what if it was the man being like "She can't handle hearing about something like this"? 

If she couldn't handle it, she would not have told her friend to keep quiet about the incident.

She would have gone straight to the boyfriend if she needed his support.

So if a man says a woman can't handle hard news, and didn't go to her for support, you'd agree with him that she must be too weak to know about it? 

What? Non sequitur much? Did you miss smthg here?

She already knows.

She and her friend saw the dead guy.

Girlfriend asked friend not to say anything to boyfriend.

Friend did not respect gf's wishes and told boyfriend anyway.

Or... you're asking me to flip the script and imagine it's a guy not wanting to go to girlfriend for support?

Sexist bs aside, I'd still respect that the guy doesn't want a big intervention from his meddling gf, yes.

All these shows about hoarders and drug addicts and interventions have made our entire society  weak.

Busybodies who want to stage an intervention for every frikkin hangnail are annoying af.

Especially if they're cringey bad at being psychiatrists.

It's healthier not to share every stupid brainfart with our SOs.

I mean, remember Breaking Bad?

Skylar White lol what a piece of work.

Xena said: 

Or... you're asking me to flip the script and imagine it's a guy not wanting to go to girlfriend for support?

Sexist bs aside, I'd still respect that the guy doesn't want a big intervention from his meddling gf, yes.

So if a friend, who was a man, said you couldn't handle hard news you'd believe him? 

It's healthier not to share every stupid brainfart with our SOs.

It does demonstrate problems though when there's poor communication or even trust issues between partners, especially after something traumatizing. 

What else does she figure he can't handle that she keeps secret from him? Should he perhaps be concerned over how she keeps secrets from him that might be over other things maybe, like cheating? 

No I wouldn't believe him.

But I wouldn't give enough fucks about his opinion after that to talk to him anymore.

Xena said: 

No I wouldn't believe him.

But I wouldn't give enough fucks about his opinion after that to talk to him anymore.

So you in the OP's shoes would break up with the girlfriend over her secrecy? 

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

No I wouldn't believe him.

But I wouldn't give enough fucks about his opinion after that to talk to him anymore.

So you in the OP's shoes would break up with the girlfriend over her secrecy? 

 No, bc the matter is clear.

Gf thinks she can handle it and does not want trauma counselling.

If I were her bf I would respect her privacy and let her work her shit out for herself.

Somebody telling me I don't need to know smthg bc I'm stupid and weak is an entirely different matter.

I can't be with somebody who thinks that of me bc our entire world would be predicated on him infantilizing me until I lose my temper and stab him to prove I'm anything but helpless/useless/dumb or w/e.

Xena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

No I wouldn't believe him.

But I wouldn't give enough fucks about his opinion after that to talk to him anymore.

So you in the OP's shoes would break up with the girlfriend over her secrecy? 

No, bc the matter is clear.

Gf thinks she can handle it and does not want trauma counselling.

If I were her bf I would respect her privacy and let her work her shit out for herself.

It still demonstrates that, in times of grief, that she not only keeps secrets from him but guides her peers to do the same. Again, imagine if she started cheating on him, how would that play out, and even further I'm sure you see how her making this choice invites him to not talk to her as much about stuff either. 

While I do agree some things can be better left personal rather than immediately shared, relationships benefit from open communication if they're legitimate synergy. 

Somebody telling me I don't need to know smthg bc I'm stupid and weak is an entirely different matter.

I can't be with somebody who thinks that of me bc our entire world would be predicated on him infantilizing me until I lose my temper and stab him to prove I'm anything but helpless/useless/dumb or w/e.

How would you respond as yourself in your equivalent of the OP's scenario then? 

Couldn't it be argued that this is what she's doing to him in this scenario? 

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

 

It's healthier not to share every stupid brainfart with our SOs.

It does demonstrate problems though when there's poor communication or even trust issues between partners, especially after something traumatizing. 

What else does she figure he can't handle that she keeps secret from him? Should he perhaps be concerned over how she keeps secrets from him that might be over other things maybe, like cheating? 

 That's what it's always about isn't it?

I hate to break this to you, but people don't own each other.

Just bc a person wants to take a step back from all the fawning doesn't mean they're cheating ffs.

It's the same reason I'm a cat person instead of a dog person.

It's such an intrusion having some yappy twitchy thing jumping all over me tryinta stick its tongue in my mouth all the time.

Just ew.

Xena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Xena said: 

It's healthier not to share every stupid brainfart with our SOs.

It does demonstrate problems though when there's poor communication or even trust issues between partners, especially after something traumatizing. 

What else does she figure he can't handle that she keeps secret from him? Should he perhaps be concerned over how she keeps secrets from him that might be over other things maybe, like cheating? 

That's what it's always about isn't it?

I hate to break this to you, but people don't own each other.

I never said they did, I asked questions over trust. 

Just bc a person wants to take a step back from all the fawning doesn't mean they're cheating ffs.

I didn't say they were, but this shows her coping mechanisms that would likely translate similarly towards other hard times. 

If she has other things to hide from him, the OP makes it appear as if she will feel no need to share it. 

It's the same reason I'm a cat person instead of a dog person.

It's such an intrusion having some yappy twitchy thing jumping all over me tryinta stick its tongue in my mouth all the time.

Just ew.

It's a shame that this is how you see relationships. 

I always saw them more as someone to share my life with, rather than just my body.