Sociopath Community

'' I was a little stunned when she told me that she basically is depressed and lost in life and doesn't seem to actually like living with her boyfriend. After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa -- my favorite topic. Since then, she's been sort of awkward and brief if I text her. I could've pressed on, but I wasn't sure since she said it's fine. '' 

LOOOOL. 

'' ANYWAY, BACK TO ELEPHANTS YOU BORING BITCH... '' 

Okay so either you are ridiculing me with your ridiculously fabricated story about a girl “from Australia” or….or (I thought you decided you were gay?)

Med said: 

This last post is the only post I read and I recognize myself in your “story” 😉

Actually the story's not really about you. I was just projecting my headaches onto you because I felt bad. If you go through our discussion, you will find that you were never the one who said you were lost in life. The story's real.

Turncoat said: 

That cane would have to be sentimental as fuck, I don't see how or why he would. 

I also don't see the point you're trying to make with that analogy, what in this case represents the cane he'd be rid of?

I think once people don't need you anymore, they will discard you. It's how I experience the world. The cane represents the person who has helped the blind man. I think it requires a degree of self-awareness to appreciate help.

Delora for example wants to get away from people and live off the land over how Neurotypicals are difficult for her to grasp and not otherwise demonize over her past experiences with them, while others who fake it better learn enough acting to blend in ala American Psycho. 

You could however get your own enjoyment out of their acceptance and, through practice, gain an intuitive understanding for their body language through experience. 

Trust is emotional as fuck and often why people are afraid to yield towards trusting someone comes from there. The chemicals involved are what can make it more difficult for some than others, ranging from naive trust of even the worst people coming too quickly to Batman levels of distrust where even experience with them can't have him shake the potential for their inevitable betrayal (to the point that he becomes the betrayal risk for the Justice League once Amanda Waller appeals to him). 

It doesn't need to be, though. You can trust people like you trust a ladder to hold you up. That's sort of my point. I think trust is not really the same as connection. When you refer to connection I think you're referring to those emotions that you feel when you trust someone, not trust itself.

Not needing to connect with other people, to the point of not even feeling lonely, sounds quite nice actually.

How about wanting to but being unable to? It's horrible. But I think there are two sides to every coin.

You know they had this experience about happiness where they gave a bunch of participants a button they could press that would stimulate a part of their brain that was associated with what the researchers thought was happiness. Turns out it wasn't happiness, but it was anticipation of happiness. All the participants felt frustrated as fuck but kept pressing the button, over, and over again. People got so hooked up on that drug that they had to force them to stop.

If the need was never there they'd likely at most be curious over others need to while they focused on what they do see. 

Yeah, like fascination.

I can't relate to that sort of disconnect though, so I default on trying to keep a small enough group of friends to sate the hunger.

I think you would if you lost your friends.

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I don't think it's wrong that our attachment to someone is due to the response of our neurons to oxytocin. The world would be a much worse place if it didn't exist. :)

Turncoat said: 

In other words you in this scenario confirmed for her that you weren't really listening, and stared at her awkwardly for 10 solid seconds during a vulnerable moment before disregarding it. She effectively gave you something to work with and you went "Well, moving on now" before talking about what you wanted to talk about. 

It does seem pretty bad, doesn't it? But she said it's fine. I feel like it could've gone either way? If I had pressed on after she said it's fine, she could've also gotten annoyed? Don't know. It usually takes me a while to process things.

To be perfectly fair, I'm worried about the wysiati principle. Have you ever heard of Daniel Kahneman's research? Apparently the way our brains work is like a tree-hash table. If you stimulate the negative parts of the brain, everything seems gloomy. If you stimulate the positive parts of the brain, everything seems happy. So I figured she'd just become more depressed by talking about it. But now I'm not so sure. I mainly don't want to talk about my problems because I'm afraid it will make the people around me depressed.

If it fails though it fails, there are literally billions of other people for you to try to make it work with who otherwise have more complimentary traits, better synergy. It's not like you are entitled to her bonding or otherwise trusting you, it's more like reaching out and seeing if anyone bites. 

In your shoes I'd probably wait a bit and then apologize for the awkward response, noting how you were caught off guard by it and didn't know what to say to her to relate towards any time she may have had to do something similar when talking to someone else. It offers the room for her to elaborate on anything she may have become more comfortable talking about since thinking over it more and offers the beginning of a timetable for trust to form over a period of time. 

You seem impatient over the idea of forming a connection. Unless you look for quick company that can legit take months or years, but once earned would likely take just as long to lose it (unless paranoia). 

A 3 probably, you still were there for her physically and if she were more self-absorbed might have kept talking instead of responding awkwardly towards your behavior. If she were the sort of person to prefer distractions this might have ended up the right route to go, but in her case it sounds otherwise, like she wants an intuiter. 

I'd give it a 1 if you were outright yelling at her for sharing her story, or stormed off or something.

Thanks for the brownie points.

I'd start with other topics and see if it goes there naturally.

Alright, I'll give it a try. Usually these things go to shit when I don't give a fuck, and they especially go to shit when I do give a fuck.

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said: 

That cane would have to be sentimental as fuck, I don't see how or why he would. 

I also don't see the point you're trying to make with that analogy, what in this case represents the cane he'd be rid of?

I think once people don't need you anymore, they will discard you. It's how I experience the world.

From my experiences anyway the needs don't need to be complicated, if they like your company it's as simple as that. 

Delora for example wants to get away from people and live off the land over how Neurotypicals are difficult for her to grasp and not otherwise demonize over her past experiences with them, while others who fake it better learn enough acting to blend in ala American Psycho. 

Good for her. She seems to have it all figured out.

You could however get your own enjoyment out of their acceptance and, through practice, gain an intuitive understanding for their body language through experience. 

If you wanted to mingle with the wolves. But wouldn't you feel a bit left out of the wolf pack without that experience? 

Trust is emotional as fuck and often why people are afraid to yield towards trusting someone comes from there. The chemicals involved are what can make it more difficult for some than others, ranging from naive trust of even the worst people coming too quickly to Batman levels of distrust where even experience with them can't have him shake the potential for their inevitable betrayal (to the point that he becomes the betrayal risk for the Justice League once Amanda Waller appeals to him). 

It doesn't need to be, though. You can trust people like you trust a ladder to hold you up.

That's more like relying on them than trusting them, isn't it? Relying can stem into user behavior, while trust has to be earned through appealing to their faith. 

Not needing to connect with other people, to the point of not even feeling lonely, sounds quite nice actually.

How about wanting to but being unable to? It's horrible. But I think there are two sides to every coin.

Why would they want to if unable to, from being lonely? 

You know they had this experience about happiness where they gave a bunch of participants a button they could press that would stimulate a part of their brain that was associated with what the researchers thought was happiness. Turns out it wasn't happiness, but it was anticipation of happiness. All the participants felt frustrated as fuck but kept pressing the button, over, and over again. People got so hooked up on that drug that they had to force them to stop. 

So pretty much gamer addiction, or 'The Chase' when it comes to abandoning what one's already earned? 

I can't relate to that sort of disconnect though, so I default on trying to keep a small enough group of friends to sate the hunger.

I think you would if you lost your friends.

Each time that ever happened I just made new ones or appealed to older ones I hadn't spoken with in a while, it's not hard to find people with the same interests and appeal to their needs. 

Hardest part's self-motivation, the rest kinda does itself. 

I don't think it's limited to biochemistry alone. our brain consists of neurons, but neurons are connected in chains and as a result we get a more complex structure. I mean our consciousness and psyche. I do not think that in attachment to someone everything is limited to the effect of oxytocin. what about empathy and empathic concern for someone? we can show care for someone, even when we have a little depression and do not receive oxytocin. sorry if I'm asking a stupid question. I read little about neurotransmitters and the psyche. :)

AppleGenius said: 

After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa -- my favorite topic.

For me connection is built through respect, I have to respect who you are. I may not respect everything you are, but it has to be significant.