Sociopath Community

Omg all your posts are either boring or something obvious fish-bait like for attention...Just stop..

The Waltz said: 

Omg all your posts are either boring or something obvious fish-bait like for attention...Just stop..

Stfu crybaby.

Outro said: 

A few friends, difficult to qualify which ones but probably four or five. I have a broader circle of less close friends that I connect with less consistently. Two ex-girlfriends also come to mind, but I find that a harder place to achieve connection.

Good for you. I'm envious.

Turncoat said:

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

Alright so asking honest opinions here.

I was having dinner with an old friend of mine who traveled from Australia to where I live, and she opened up that she feels lost in life ever since moving to Australia with her boyfriend. I was really just asking about how she likes Australia to make chit-chat, so I was a little stunned when she told me that she basically is depressed and lost in life and doesn't seem to actually like living with her boyfriend. After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa -- my favorite topic. Since then, she's been sort of awkward and brief if I text her. I could've pressed on, but I wasn't sure since she said it's fine.

Soooooo.............

On a scale from 1 to 10 how well would you say I did at trying to form meaningful connections? Also, would you say it's a good or bad idea to bring up the topic again, like, now, 2 days after?

This last post is the only post I read and I recognize myself in your “story” 😉

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said: 

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

I guess. But you know what the first thing that a blind man does when his sight heals? Gets rid of the cane.

That cane would have to be sentimental as fuck, I don't see how or why he would. 

I also don't see the point you're trying to make with that analogy, what in this case represents the cane he'd be rid of? 

If they lack the means of doing it and noticing how others are doing it, then yeah they are retarded in that area. 

Noticing how others are doing it? I think that'd be easy, wouldn't it?

If it's far enough out of their grasp it's essentially a blindspot, playing in front of them but not being absorbed like periphery blindness. Just because they can see it doesn't mean they can understand or even comprehend what they are looking at, but through imitation and trial and error they can still see how others are affected by their hollow attempt at the gesture. If they are good enough at imitation they end up with a different lesson gleaned entirely, while if they fail at the imitation then they typically try to find ways around it. 

Delora for example wants to get away from people and live off the land over how Neurotypicals are difficult for her to grasp and not otherwise demonize over her past experiences with them, while others who fake it better learn enough acting to blend in ala American Psycho. 

People share something, act consistent, be vulnerable, and then they form a connection. What if you do it all right but it just doesn't happen?

I would presume a lack of trust is present that is otherwise holding the room to bond back, which should be as easily to remedy in the usual circumstances as having shared interests that are legitimate. 

It's like how you can form a pact with wolves by letting them lick your teeth. You know the steps, but it doesn't make you a wolf. You will never experience whatever that wolf gets out of having their teeth be licked. 

You could however get your own enjoyment out of their acceptance and, through practice, gain an intuitive understanding for their body language through experience. 

It's like you don't think connection is an emotional or chemical thing but a habit?

Trust is emotional as fuck and often why people are afraid to yield towards trusting someone comes from there. The chemicals involved are what can make it more difficult for some than others, ranging from naive trust of even the worst people coming too quickly to Batman levels of distrust where even experience with them can't have him shake the potential for their inevitable betrayal (to the point that he becomes the betrayal risk for the Justice League once Amanda Waller appeals to him). 

If someone has depression for example, none of it might feel worth it over how heavy it is, or if someone has fast enough racing thoughts to be stuck tuning people out as they become more egotistical, but in spite of the difficulties the process of trust remains largely the same. 

People otherwise unable to form connections would likely aim to mirror the appearance of it, either to appear normal or to use it like a tool like the con artistry one might expect from a high functioning psychopath. If unable to do that they would likely try to cope by saying they don't need it or are otherwise above it, aiming to adapt to a lifestyle without it while bitching and moaning if not some other cope when they can't sidestep it.

This is pretty accurate.

Don't you think there's anything good that can come out of the loop on the whole connection thing? Isn't everything like yin and yang? There's always a flipside.

Not needing to connect with other people, to the point of not even feeling lonely, sounds quite nice actually. If the need was never there they'd likely at most be curious over others need to while they focused on what they do see. 

I can't relate to that sort of disconnect though, so I default on trying to keep a small enough group of friends to sate the hunger. 

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said:

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

Alright so asking honest opinions here.

I was having dinner with an old friend of mine who traveled from Australia to where I live, and she opened up that she feels lost in life ever since moving to Australia with her boyfriend. I was really just asking about how she likes Australia to make chit-chat, so I was a little stunned when she told me that she basically is depressed and lost in life and doesn't seem to actually like living with her boyfriend. After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa

In other words you in this scenario confirmed for her that you weren't really listening, and stared at her awkwardly for 10 solid seconds during a vulnerable moment before disregarding it. She effectively gave you something to work with and you went "Well, moving on now" before talking about what you wanted to talk about. 

If it fails though it fails, there are literally billions of other people for you to try to make it work with who otherwise have more complimentary traits, better synergy. It's not like you are entitled to her bonding or otherwise trusting you, it's more like reaching out and seeing if anyone bites. 

In your shoes I'd probably wait a bit and then apologize for the awkward response, noting how you were caught off guard by it and didn't know what to say to her to relate towards any time she may have had to do something similar when talking to someone else. It offers the room for her to elaborate on anything she may have become more comfortable talking about since thinking over it more and offers the beginning of a timetable for trust to form over a period of time. 

You seem impatient over the idea of forming a connection. Unless you look for quick company that can legit take months or years, but once earned would likely take just as long to lose it (unless paranoia). 

On a scale from 1 to 10 how well would you say I did at trying to form meaningful connections?

A 3 probably, you still were there for her physically and if she were more self-absorbed might have kept talking instead of responding awkwardly towards your behavior. If she were the sort of person to prefer distractions this might have ended up the right route to go, but in her case it sounds otherwise, like she wants an intuiter. 

I'd give it a 1 if you were outright yelling at her for sharing her story, or stormed off or something. 

Also, would you say it's a good or bad idea to bring up the topic again, like, now, 2 days after?

I'd start with other topics and see if it goes there naturally. 

Turncoat said: 

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said:

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

Alright so asking honest opinions here.

I was having dinner with an old friend of mine who traveled from Australia to where I live, and she opened up that she feels lost in life ever since moving to Australia with her boyfriend. I was really just asking about how she likes Australia to make chit-chat, so I was a little stunned when she told me that she basically is depressed and lost in life and doesn't seem to actually like living with her boyfriend. After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa

In other words you in this scenario confirmed for her that you weren't really listening, and stared at her awkwardly for 10 solid seconds during a vulnerable moment before disregarding it. She effectively gave you something to work with and you went "Well, moving on now" before talking about what you wanted to talk about. 

If it fails though it fails, there are literally billions of other people for you to try to make it work with who otherwise have more complimentary traits, better synergy. It's not like you are entitled to her bonding or otherwise trusting you, it's more like reaching out and seeing if anyone bites. 

In your shoes I'd probably wait a bit and then apologize for the awkward response, noting how you were caught off guard by it and didn't know what to say to her to relate towards any time she may have had to do something similar when talking to someone else. It offers the room for her to elaborate on anything she may have become more comfortable talking about since thinking over it more and offers the beginning of a timetable for trust to form over a period of time. 

You seem impatient over the idea of forming a connection. Unless you look for quick company that can legit take months or years, but once earned would likely take just as long to lose it (unless paranoia). 

On a scale from 1 to 10 how well would you say I did at trying to form meaningful connections?

A 3 probably, you still were there for her physically and if she were more self-absorbed might have kept talking instead of responding awkwardly towards your behavior. If she were the sort of person to prefer distractions this might have ended up the right route to go, but in her case it sounds otherwise, like she wants an intuiter. 

I'd give it a 1 if you were outright yelling at her for sharing her story, or stormed off or something. 

Also, would you say it's a good or bad idea to bring up the topic again, like, now, 2 days after?

I'd start with other topics and see if it goes there naturally. 

 Turncoat you're OCD. It's a made up story. I told him sometime recently I felt lost in life and he made this whole fabrication up for someone he only knows online, because he claimed he didn't understand me. He knows.

Med said: 

Turncoat said: 

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said:

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

Alright so asking honest opinions here.

I was having dinner with an old friend of mine who traveled from Australia to where I live, and she opened up that she feels lost in life ever since moving to Australia with her boyfriend. I was really just asking about how she likes Australia to make chit-chat, so I was a little stunned when she told me that she basically is depressed and lost in life and doesn't seem to actually like living with her boyfriend. After I stared at her for 10 solid seconds because I was at a loss for words, she told me that it's fine, so I just started talking about elephants in south Africa

In other words you in this scenario confirmed for her that you weren't really listening, and stared at her awkwardly for 10 solid seconds during a vulnerable moment before disregarding it. She effectively gave you something to work with and you went "Well, moving on now" before talking about what you wanted to talk about. 

If it fails though it fails, there are literally billions of other people for you to try to make it work with who otherwise have more complimentary traits, better synergy. It's not like you are entitled to her bonding or otherwise trusting you, it's more like reaching out and seeing if anyone bites. 

In your shoes I'd probably wait a bit and then apologize for the awkward response, noting how you were caught off guard by it and didn't know what to say to her to relate towards any time she may have had to do something similar when talking to someone else. It offers the room for her to elaborate on anything she may have become more comfortable talking about since thinking over it more and offers the beginning of a timetable for trust to form over a period of time. 

You seem impatient over the idea of forming a connection. Unless you look for quick company that can legit take months or years, but once earned would likely take just as long to lose it (unless paranoia). 

On a scale from 1 to 10 how well would you say I did at trying to form meaningful connections?

A 3 probably, you still were there for her physically and if she were more self-absorbed might have kept talking instead of responding awkwardly towards your behavior. If she were the sort of person to prefer distractions this might have ended up the right route to go, but in her case it sounds otherwise, like she wants an intuiter. 

I'd give it a 1 if you were outright yelling at her for sharing her story, or stormed off or something. 

Also, would you say it's a good or bad idea to bring up the topic again, like, now, 2 days after?

I'd start with other topics and see if it goes there naturally. 

 Turncoat you're OCD. It's a made up story.

Of course it's made up the guy who said it is afraid of yielding personal truths, but the hypothetical story could still yield an answer that then otherwise applies to something real they kept to themselves. Even if it ends up in one ear and out the other it still shows one's personal opinion in a way that others could read, either to apply to themselves or at the very least contributes towards their understanding of the speaker's worldview. It also as said speaker gives me room to see how others respond to it, teaching me things as well as payment for my time. 

TLDR; Someone who speaks in fabrications still has real motivations for doing so, there are potential truths in the lies, and if it's at no cost to me to play along why not? 

I told him sometime recently I felt lost in life and he made this whole fabrication up for someone he only knows online, because he claimed he didn't understand me. He knows.

I'm guessing you wouldn't rate him a 3? 

Sorry to AppleGenius didnt mean to throw you under the bus.

I don't know about "people", but anyone that can help me forget the existential pointlessness of anything, I appreciate them for it.  At least for a while.

Perhaps, in some manner, that's what "people" are doing, dressed up as some other concern.