Sociopath Community

It's as simple as trusting someone who trusts you back for a long enough time to be able to put faith in the consistency. With that trust it opens the room for both to be more vulnerable and reveal truths to eachother, which then further reinforces the bond. 

AppleGenius said: 

Serious question.

Do you feel connected with anyone?

Do you think it's:

a) Having fun
b) Sharing your fears and pains
c) Helping them
d) Being helped

that makes you connect with someone?

 

All of the above. Mutual experience, shared humanity and so on. 

And yes, I feel connected with people. Not often, and not many people, but it's nice when it happens. 

Turncoat said: 

It's as simple as trusting someone who trusts you back for a long enough time to be able to put faith in the consistency. With that trust it opens the room for both to be more vulnerable and reveal truths to eachother, which then further reinforces the bond.

So you don't believe in any magic bullet eh?

Do you have any thoughts on my hamster research story? I'd say forming that bond requires some kind of happy brain chemicals. Without those, the bond doesn't get stronger even if you're vulnerable. After being vulnerable you just feel like shit if you don't have the chemistry.

And yes, I feel connected with people.

Who?

AppleGenius said: 

Turncoat said: 

It's as simple as trusting someone who trusts you back for a long enough time to be able to put faith in the consistency. With that trust it opens the room for both to be more vulnerable and reveal truths to eachother, which then further reinforces the bond.

So you don't believe in any magic bullet eh?

Oh no, it can definitely be streamlined with con artistry or mentalism if not otherwise seeking out naive/easy targets, but even that tends to play on making them believe you 'know them' to shortcut through the timetable. 

While it's as simple as mutual trust, how that trust is achieved is where it varies. 

Do you have any thoughts on my hamster research story? I'd say forming that bond requires some kind of happy brain chemicals. Without those, the bond doesn't get stronger even if you're vulnerable. After being vulnerable you just feel like shit if you don't have the chemistry.

Well yeah it's not like everyone is built with the same capacity to trust people, it's a spectrum where some find it easy while others struggle whether it's a nurtured response or a chemical byproduct of something such as depression, paranoia, or rage control issues. 

Trust is reliant on faith, if there is no room for it then the trust becomes more fragile if not otherwise absent, but that's where the consistency principle comes into play for even stubborn, slow growth situations. It's hard to not trust patterns unless you straight up don't trust your perceptions. 

Turncoat said: 

While it's as simple as mutual trust, how that trust is achieved is where it varies.

Well yeah it's not like everyone is built with the same capacity to trust people, it's a spectrum where some find it easy while others struggle whether it's a nurtured response or a chemical byproduct of something such as depression, paranoia, or rage control issues. 

Trust is reliant on faith, if there is no room for it then the trust becomes more fragile if not otherwise absent, but that's where the consistency principle comes into play for even stubborn, slow growth situations. It's hard to not trust patterns unless you straight up don't trust your perceptions.

I think it's good if people trust each other. But I don't think trust is synonymous with connection, even if it's one of the pre-requirements. I can trust someone not to steal my wallet and still not feel connected to them. I think the other requirement is happy brain chemicals. Without the chemistry, we're like that hamster that got their happy supply cut off from them and ignored their partner.

I think if you're being consistently good with your friends and trust them mutually, then without some sort of emotional connection it's just a business transaction.

Do you believe there are people who are unable to form connections no matter what they do, and even if they can build mutual trust among others?

AppleGenius said: 

I think if you're being consistently good with your friends and trust them mutually, then without some sort of emotional connection it's just a business transaction.

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time. 

Do you believe there are people who are unable to form connections no matter what they do, and even if they can build mutual trust among others?

If they lack the means of doing it and noticing how others are doing it, then yeah they are retarded in that area. 

People otherwise unable to form connections would likely aim to mirror the appearance of it, either to appear normal or to use it like a tool like the con artistry one might expect from a high functioning psychopath. If unable to do that they would likely try to cope by saying they don't need it or are otherwise above it, aiming to adapt to a lifestyle without it while bitching and moaning if not some other cope when they can't sidestep it. 

Turncoat said: 

That's why the sharing truths/vulnerability part tends to push that to the next step, if not a life event that achieves something similar like being there for them at the right time.

I guess. But you know what the first thing that a blind man does when his sight heals? Gets rid of the cane.

If they lack the means of doing it and noticing how others are doing it, then yeah they are retarded in that area. 

Noticing how others are doing it? I think that'd be easy, wouldn't it? People share something, act consistent, be vulnerable, and then they form a connection. What if you do it all right but it just doesn't happen? It's like how you can form a pact with wolves by letting them lick your teeth. You know the steps, but it doesn't make you a wolf. You will never experience whatever that wolf gets out of having their teeth be licked.

It's like you don't think connection is an emotional or chemical thing but a habit?

People otherwise unable to form connections would likely aim to mirror the appearance of it, either to appear normal or to use it like a tool like the con artistry one might expect from a high functioning psychopath. If unable to do that they would likely try to cope by saying they don't need it or are otherwise above it, aiming to adapt to a lifestyle without it while bitching and moaning if not some other cope when they can't sidestep it.

This is pretty accurate.

Don't you think there's anything good that can come out of the loop on the whole connection thing? Isn't everything like yin and yang? There's always a flipside.

AppleGenius said: 

And yes, I feel connected with people.

Who?

A few friends, difficult to qualify which ones but probably four or five. I have a broader circle of less close friends that I connect with less consistently. Two ex-girlfriends also come to mind, but I find that a harder place to achieve connection.