@ Spatial
I have feelings for him… or maybe had. I just need more from him to feel fullfilled. I feel unloved rn. So it’s hard to give when I feel empty.
I need more attention, more of his obsession, more effort from him. It’s long distance and he works a lot. He’s not good at expressing his emotions either… I just need something to make my heart race ?!
For some reason I think he's in Ottawa but I wouldn't know.
It's gone stale. When will you meet ?
I'm happy to hear, Feathers, that you don't share about God ironically. Maybe it was that way for me, too. I hope you can keep believing. I genuinely believe I could convince you that God doesn't exist but I feel like I'd be doing you a disservice. I feel obligated not to hurt people.
Yeah, I think it is romance movies, too, that promote this screwed up view about soulmates and love. Ever watch Alain de Botton? He's great. I feel like I'm slowly being influenced by his philosophy, even though it makes absolutely no sense and isn't backed by anything, because honestly I just want to live in a fantasy world where I can believe in all sorts of crap that has no foundation on facts or reality. I love living in lala land, and I'm not too apologetic about it to be honest. It kind of flies in the face of me being a scientist and all, but fuck science, let's embrace magic.
Let me ask you a question unironically, one that I'm genuinely interested in: Do you honestly feel anything when you watch those youtube vids with some bible verses and stuff? Genuinely? I feel nothing. It's so odd that you feel like anything when listening to those verses, to the point that you want to share them with me.
Yeah ? What part exactly ?
This one↓
Just to get it out of the way, women don't care about their man's feeling. LOL. Excuse me. So when a guy comes across as needy it's very offputting for women.That's pretty sad and makes me sad that you've experienced this. I hope you find a better partner
I'm content with it. I don't see it as a bad thing either.
And it's not just my personal experience in relationships alone, it's an actual study I agree with.
Still we get along just fine. I'll act like I'm in despair whenever we part ways, she laughs and it doesn't get old. "If" I were serious she'd rather not have it.
@Lenalee: Would you like to prove SpatialMind wrong by offering to comfort him and listen to his problems, say, for the next 30 days? He can complain and ask for your emotional support with any problem.
I see a lot of folks claiming that people care, but a lot less actual caring. It's like this classical case of a cute girl going to an awkward dude "I think you're amazing and so nice and I think you're definitely going to find that special someone who accepts you just the way you are... BUT IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME OLIOLIOLIO LOSER!" Lol.
@Spatial Honestly though, Spatial, I think you've thought about that for a long time. I've seen you talk about neediness, relationship, etc, for a long time. I think, at least, it used to bother you that you couldn't be needy in a relationship. I'm that way now. I feel very empty in relationships. With my wife, I don't have that feeling like I get to be needy. The relationship dynamic is set in a way where I regard her as someone who needs to be supported, and I don't particularly feel like I need anything from her. I also don't really share my concerns with her, because I think she couldn't handle it. I see her as someone too fragile to ever be needy with. Do you ever feel like you'd like to share your concerns with someone? Not necessarily a romantic partner, but anyone? Any woman?
By the way, I think the fundamental difference between you and me is that when presented with facts, I tend to go "I don't have enough information", whereas you tend to go "I do have enough information." The bit where we are similar is that you, like me, make long posts that seemingly bore people (Turncoat being an exception). My greatest achivement, though, was getting Jim to read one of my posts. I'm still really proud about that.
@Spatial Honestly though, Spatial, I think you've thought about that for a long time. I've seen you talk about neediness, relationship, etc, for a long time. I think, at least, it used to bother you that you couldn't be needy in a relationship. I'm that way now. I feel very empty in relationships. With my wife, I don't have that feeling like I get to be needy.
Trust me comrade. You and I, we have no desire to be needy. Neediness is a feeble broken state, while the more we express it, the more we'd annoy our company.
I knew a divorced man, we were housemates once. He used to dwell in the past, constantly going on about our ex boss and his ex wife, daily. He'd express his resentment for our ex boss every single day. Do I care ? No. For him it's a never ending illness, and for all who know him, we're better off away from the guy. I do think failure to adapt to bullshit is a choice, and for the worse.
When we know what I just mentioned to be true, we find the path of least resistsnce to better mental health, and we'll refrain from practices and habits that'll weaken us.
The relationship dynamic is set in a way where I regard her as someone who needs to be supported, and I don't particularly feel like I need anything from her. I also don't really share my concerns with her, because I think she couldn't handle it. I see her as someone too fragile to ever be needy with.
That's good for your relationship with your wife.
Do you ever feel like you'd like to share your concerns with someone? Not necessarily a romantic partner, but anyone? Any woman?
I have before, but it's not really on my agenda. I have a common lady friend with my date who I talk to on the phone now and then. I discuss my outlook on my relationship to her, and she gives me feedback, of course she's more of an advocate toward my date, who we find lies a lot.
By the way, I think the fundamental difference between you and me is that when presented with facts, I tend to go "I don't have enough information", whereas you tend to go "I do have enough information."
You're suggesting I loosely buy unproven claims, while you take more time to chew and digest data, therefore you're wiser, and likely to be more qualified than I am, yeah ?
If you have any examples of that let me know.
The bit where we are similar is that you, like me, make long posts that seemingly bore people (Turncoat being an exception). My greatest achivement, though, was getting Jim to read one of my posts. I'm still really proud about that.
Well I've interacted with almost everyone in this thread, except the pedophiles Jim and Waltzinaminor. Nor that User guy. Blanc is here too and she for one complements my writing.
I never put much thought into these things, but with the above paragraph in mind, I'm content with those of you who participate in responding to me very often.
I knew a divorced man, we were housemates once. He used to dwell in the past, constantly going on about our ex boss and his ex wife, daily. He'd express his resentment for our ex boss every single day. Do I care ? No. For him it's a never ending illness, and for all who know him, we're better off away from the guy. I do think failure to adapt to bullshit is a choice, and for the worse.
Ever think given him feedback?
I think you're less needy than I am, by the way. I do feel an innate need to connect at a deep level, and I think it's difficult to skimp on thing that actually bother me. I don't usually discuss these things, but I'd be lying if I said keeping things to myself didn't make me feel lonely at times.
When I was younger, I was very negative. Then, I learned that by being positive I can re-wire my brain to be happy. Now I'm wondering if it's actually sometimes good to be miserable.
That's good for your relationship with your wife.
Thanks.
I have before, but it's not really on my agenda. I have a common lady friend with my date who I talk to on the phone now and then. I discuss my outlook on my relationship to her, and she gives me feedback, of course she's more of an advocate toward my date, who we find lies a lot.
I'm interested (it's very easy to impress me and keep me interested; I'll let you know if I'm not): How do you know your date lies a lot, and what does she lie about?
You're suggesting I loosely buy unproven claims, while you take more time to chew and digest data, therefore you're wiser, and likely to be more qualified than I am, yeah ?
If you have any examples of that let me know.
To be more qualified? Not sure what you mean by that. But yes, like you, I believe in my epistemology. An example would be how you inferred that I believed I was wiser and more qualified. I'd say it was the correct inference. However, I'd be less inclined to make that same inference based on that limited information that you had. Can't really objectively say you're wrong in doing it.. But I guess a more interesting example is that I've never quite seen you say that you don't know something. So let me ask you: What do you not know?
Well I've interacted with almost everyone in this thread, except the pedophiles Jim and Waltzinaminor. Nor that User guy. Blanc is here too and she for one complements my writing.
Do you understand Blanc? I don't. It's like she's behind a wall to me. I don't feel like I can relate to her.
Yeah ? What part exactly ?
This one↓
Just to get it out of the way, women don't care about their man's feeling. LOL. Excuse me. So when a guy comes across as needy it's very offputting for women.That's pretty sad and makes me sad that you've experienced this. I hope you find a better partner
I'm content with it. I don't see it as a bad thing either.
And it's not just my personal experience in relationships alone, it's an actual study I agree with.
Still we get along just fine. I'll act like I'm in despair whenever we part ways, she laughs and it doesn't get old. "If" I were serious she'd rather not have it.
@Lenalee: Would you like to prove SpatialMind wrong by offering to comfort him and listen to his problems, say, for the next 30 days? He can complain and ask for your emotional support with any problem.
I see a lot of folks claiming that people care, but a lot less actual caring. It's like this classical case of a cute girl going to an awkward dude "I think you're amazing and so nice and I think you're definitely going to find that special someone who accepts you just the way you are... BUT IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME OLIOLIOLIO LOSER!" Lol.
Do you know what friends are?
I knew a divorced man, we were housemates once. He used to dwell in the past, constantly going on about our ex boss and his ex wife, daily. He'd express his resentment for our ex boss every single day. Do I care ? No. For him it's a never ending illness, and for all who know him, we're better off away from the guy. I do think failure to adapt to bullshit is a choice, and for the worse.Ever think given him feedback?
I did. I pretty much told him he's making himself ill. His blood pressure was high, so it came to a point where I'd cut him off when he started and tell him to knock it off for the sake of his health.
I think you're less needy than I am, by the way. I do feel an innate need to connect at a deep level, and I think it's difficult to skimp on thing that actually bother me. I don't usually discuss these things, but I'd be lying if I said keeping things to myself didn't make me feel lonely at times.
I've been there. Now when things bother me I'll tolerate it for awhile and if it persists I'll confront it head on, which at that point will most likely be the last time whatever it is upsets me.
In emotional crisis a man's on his own. No one cares. No I'm not complaining about it, I'm just pointing out one of the reasons we have to make changes to ourselves. Sympathy from others doesn't really do anything, and if we magically feel better because someone feels sorry for us then we'll continue to seek comfort in being pitiful.
When I was younger, I was very negative. Then, I learned that by being positive I can re-wire my brain to be happy. Now I'm wondering if it's actually sometimes good to be miserable.
That last sentence, I wrote about that in the original SC about 9 years ago in a thread I called The Process of Self Transformation. Where these low vibrational emotional states are infact our greatest opportunity to choose what we're to become. You might not believe it, but it was there I coined the term "Become the better version of yourself" before others started using it. I'm boasting but I seriously wrote that.
Change for the better or worse, and if we don't change we'll suffer. Once we achieve that we really become stronger and the next upset isn't so harsh, and we'll look forward to the next opportunity to change.
That's good for your relationship with your wife.
Thanks.
I have before, but it's not really on my agenda. I have a common lady friend with my date who I talk to on the phone now and then. I discuss my outlook on my relationship to her, and she gives me feedback, of course she's more of an advocate toward my date, who we find lies a lot.
I'm interested (it's very easy to impress me and keep me interested; I'll let you know if I'm not): How do you know your date lies a lot, and what does she lie about?
Little things that doesn't particularly get under my skin. She has this one friend who calls her a lot, and she'll tell her she doing something else to let her go if she's with me or our other friend. She also told me how our other frirnd needed her car fixed, so she'll need my assistance in cashing out her investment, that I pretty much gave her, so she can do car repairs. I ended up giving her the $400 in Ethereum cause I wanted to help. Then they all went to a cottage that weekend, and my date never wanted me to know about it. Honestly I don't care if they take their kids to the cottage. I do say they shouldn't spend money they don't have.
Now our friend is catching her ass, with no investments while the asset she sold anyway after i tried to prevent her from selling is now up 600%. And on the side my girl lied.
People look down on the cuckold, but that guy is beyond strong. I can relate to that while I plan my next move. I say she can go bang some guy and I won't lose any sleep over it. The other day she called me up as we discussed her unemployment, and she told me how she might have to work with some auto detailer who'll molest her. I thought to myself, the auto detailer who detailed her car for free who she probably already banged ? Oh i better intervene and do something or else she'll end up working for some molester.
This talk probably came up cause I showed her how the last $700 I gave her I could have multiplied it 214 times, and I'm not playing fight now cause it's the final quarter of the bullrun and I'm not obliged to give until the run is over.
These are my suposid problems Lega, but not really. It's why I call her my date, or a lady friend. Her child once asked me if would you give Mom a billion dollars, and the tone was as though the child was seeing if it was true, and I said nah, then I got us dinner.
I still help her out even though she has 8k to her name and bills. I asked how much is left on her car payments, she said 18k but meanwhile I recall the car being a grand total of 15k and she had it for a little over a year now.
On another note, this woman loved me, then I got rich so now it's like Lord of the Rings, where I have the ring, and she wants it more and more. If i clean up her debts, then paper trade the lost money, it would eventually turn into tens of millions of dollars I never made, and she lies often enough. It's better to let her burn and file bankruptcy, before I restore her. She wouldn't understand that. She'll end up telling me she found a guy to look after her.
It might sound like I'm complaining, but I'm just saying how things unfold in my world. I'm in control and I'm delighted, it looks painful and the old me would've probably gone stupid and I wouldn't be as successful, but there's great things on the way.
Some would say there's something wrong with me, solely because I no longer have fits over poor behaviors in relationships. Like I'm supposed to cry and whine, and be manipilated and lean on someone.
You're suggesting I loosely buy unproven claims, while you take more time to chew and digest data, therefore you're wiser, and likely to be more qualified than I am, yeah ?
If you have any examples of that let me know.
To be more qualified? Not sure what you mean by that. But yes, like you, I believe in my epistemology. An example would be how you inferred that I believed I was wiser and more qualified. I'd say it was the correct inference. However, I'd be less inclined to make that same inference based on that limited information that you had. Can't really objectively say you're wrong in doing it.. But I guess a more interesting example is that I've never quite seen you say that you don't know something. So let me ask you: What do you not know?
Well I've interacted with almost everyone in this thread, except the pedophiles Jim and Waltzinaminor. Nor that User guy. Blanc is here too and she for one complements my writing.
Do you understand Blanc? I don't. It's like she's behind a wall to me. I don't feel like I can relate to her.
What I don't know is most things there is to know. And I do say I don't know, when I don't know. I think I understand Blanc, she's a lot better these days compared to before. She was way needy before, now she's more chill and less annoying. I'm glad about that.
omg you're so fucking pathetic
what the fuck man
you're that lonely you need a broke dude with nothing to threaten to abuse you
fuck me
i'll fuck your ear till you puke shit
get back in your slimy wet hole that you crawled out of you fucking salamander
