What page is this ? The highlight of your relationship update so far is a free car. HA HA HAAA !
I mean you read her rambles about what friendship is right?
First of all... Spatial said some interesting things.
Second of all... Yes the highlight of all my relationships have been the material things or favorable services they provide. I don't get emotion satisfaction, bonding or connection from anyone (there's an exception for the one friend who was murdered). When I do them favors, listen to them and buy them things it's out of a sense of duty of what "friends should do".
I saw that from your first post. You kinda made it obvious.
As for your friends. It's okay to treat them every now and then, but if it's one sided and you're always fitting the bill then you should probably cease doing it. For example if you ran a business, your friends might expect free milkshakes all of the time but that cuts away at your profits while you have business expenses to pay. Your better friend will pay whenever they show up, discount or not. It's also better when currency flows between friends and family otherwise you'll end up dragging one another down. It sounds cold but it isn't. Better when your company knows how to fish as opposed to feeding them.
I have this one friend who's broke and I decided to give him some money, and he was like "Nah bro you keep it". I was like dude ? When opportunity comes your way you cut out the bullshit and you take it. Of course I don't do this all of the time and he knows why. I used to pay for him all of the the time when we were younger. It sounds a bit off, I give him money, I don't give him money. I shouldn't ever have to give him money, and I really don't. When I do it's for something important and not some duty I need to fulfill.
If you don't pay for your friends, and they start resenting you for not paying for them, then they aren't good to keep. You have dreams too don't you ? Plus it isn't cheap to live here, you'll need to accumulate your wealth.
I can't feel loved by anyone friends or family. I may be broken... or a defective human. When someone says they love me I take it as a bad sign. They are either confused by the aroma of fun or lying to me. I don't fault anyone for being confused... It can be easy to mistake the feeling of happiness around having fun experiences with me to love.
I feel better when someone says they don't love me. When they confess they just like to hang out with me because I think they are most honest. Love me? Most people don't even see me. I could be someone else and they'd say the same exact thing. I feel like most people don't want me they just want "someone" and I'm convenient and dependable. This is because I treat the relationship as a sort of duty to take on. I must help these people... if someone else was gonna do it they'd be there.
I'm similar in that sense. In romance I prefer not to tell them I love them, and I don't particularly like it when they say it out of the blue for no reason cause then I'm supposed to follow the script too and then it feels unnatural. To me it seems like it's rehearsed as it's something we hear in the movies. Though when I really love someone, they'll know.
When it comes to successful relationships I think it's something else. We'll smile at one another, and there'll be body language and intuition that suggests a romantic bond and even spectators can see there's chemistry between the subjects. Yes we can love a romantic interest but we can love anyone and anything too and love doesn't change. Telling a romantic interest you love them isn't the best thing you can tell them.
Lately I've been thinking a profound questions.
"What is love?"... Is it a chemical feeling that can disappear at any time? Is it a contracted agreement to stay together (as long as they aren't overly toxic)? Is it enjoying fun experiences together and being caught up the moment? Is it being willing to die for them (even if out of a sense of duty)? Is it feeling empathy for their pitiful existence? Is it the feeling of looking up to someone in awe and admiration?
Love is a state of being, not an emotion or a chemical reaction in the brain. Love goes beyond the physical realm where the brain is. We can feel joy for performing acts of love. You find a bird with a broken wing, you patch it up and cut it loose. That's love. An act of kindness or mercy. The will to inflict the good on others and the environment. It's a prosperous force. It's synonymous with creation.
Love considers the well being of others and nothing more. It is good to love you family and friends, and also your romantic partner. You may not think you love them cause you're not passionate about it, but it's there and it's enough, Again love is not an emotion. It's more, will power. A positive energy. To be loved is to be taken care of. The future is bright when people love you. They might have a misperception of what love is, and they may not ever tell you they love you, nor will they ever have to, what they do for you determines if you're being loved or not.
Another note on love, we're prone to appreciating it.
When it comes to romance do not confuse love with infatuation. Love isn't painful nor is it a selfish thing like being infatuated 'plus' demanding co-operation or having your expectations met or else you might have a bad episode. Love is nothing of the sort.
In a nutshell, society uses the word love so loosely people aren't even sure what it truly is.
"What is trust?"... Is it handing someone the knife so they can stab you? Is it saying 'this person is worth being destroyed for I guess'? Is it conceiting to your doom because you just don't care if they betray you? Is it giving them the power to destroy you so you fear the rest of your days?
No. Cause if it were any of that, then you wouldn't trust them.
On that note trust isn't intuitive, but good or bad intuition can yield trust. With that I'd say it's better to trust when you're sure.
