Sociopath Community

I uh, i think i need to keep my stress down 

i just feel like I’m often operating within a level of constant stress or distress for absolutely no reason (but i can’t help it) 

sort of like a car that gets stuck shifted into the wrong fucking gear 

obvious ptsd but yeah

i need to manage that because 

i think it may help take the weight off the panic attacks and the frequency of them 

its kind of like a tumor that, when squeezed or pressed on by swelling, it reacts and becomes violent and it results in making the body sick. Well, in this scenario, the tumor is panic attacks, and the swelling and pressure is stress. 

Make sense. You have to manage ur stress.... 

just like managing any other health disorder like high cholesterol or diabetes. This is of the mind but it is very much the same

stress, has to be managed when you have a stress disorder.

but yeah... 

All of this is prefacing an event that occurred as a result of my stress. 

I had a another panic attack this morning (2:00am ish). I woke up and was just immediately in a panic attack. 

I tried to do my usual breathing meditation and grounding. But it was a really severe one. 

After realizing it had gotten too large and out of hand and too ahead of me way too rapidly for me to be able to get this under control, I reached for a medication but it was no use. 

I went to the bathroom and didn’t even make it to the medication, I just threw up like violently. 

This happens to me during these attacks sometimes. And yeah. They happen just waking up like this completely randomly. 

There was no trigger i literally just woke up in it. For no reason. 

Anyway, I’m annoyed that this happened. But I’m sort of used to it at this point. And yeah cleaned myself up of course. 

It just.... it was a lot.... it was a lot of vomiting like..... it was awful. 

And then.... yeah after cleaning myself up i did my meditation app and I’m still listening tot he calm app like background tranquil sounds 

It just helps keep me calm 

and yeah... tryin to just like, de-compress. And relax. And I was reflecting bout how i really need to de-compress and de-stress myself and manage my stress more. 

Cuz on the daily I’m operating at a really unhealthy level i need to like...... take it down a knotch and i also.... need to like..... yeah just calm down and let go.... and um...

sorry I’m really tired. I dunno what I’m trying to say. I.......... need to like..... ium.....

yeah try to avoid stressful things that are unnecessarily stressing me out even more than i already even am naturally because of ptsd 

i need to be kinder to myself in that area and ... yeah go easy... on myself.. 

for my own , sake... so yeah what I’m tryign to say is um 

i think this site is a little too much sometimes and if i take a step back from involvement, it’s because yeah i need to like, take care of myself. First. It’s whats most important rn and if shit here is unnecessarily stressful its better for me to sort of take it easy 

Blanc...

I realize on a daily basis I am in a state of unhealthy level of stress and I don’t deal with it well 

so I need to like figure out how to like calm down and better manage it properly so I can be calm 

this was something I struggled with in 2017 when I was first diagnosed when I was at my worst with ptsd symptoms. I felt like a folding chair that wouldn’t stop snapping shut and trying to get me to relax was just physically impossible you try to open it and it snaps shut every time and it’s very difficult to force the chair to open cuz it’s just so up tight 

I couldn’t physically relax like at all. At all. It was bad 

but yeah over the years I thought I was better at it but now I realize I still have this problem it’s just at a lesser volume because it was never therapeutically addressed 

I need to like see someone about stress management and talk to someone 

My life is stressful and I make myself stressed instead of like handling it well because you have habits of responding to it a certain way and then that way like isn’t functional long term into adult hood 

and yeah the ways I’m used to dealing with it just isn’t working for me anymore 

I need to figure out how to be totally calm as a natural state liek... I have a hard time just being chill and being base line

Maybe you need to let yourself actually feel the stress. 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc...

 What

You work so hard to not have to look directly at the problem. You'd probably be more chill just looking at the issue. 

Looking at what issue

Blanc said: 

Looking at what issue

What do you mean "what issue"? 

you're saying there is some issue that I am evading 

so I was asking you what issue is it that I am evading, I would like for you to designate what the issue is.