Sociopath Community

https://open.spotify.com/track/04Z8OH1BVCtTZ9vk06SCtz?si=LbA4aq8WTpCBJM3Y2QW7vg 

I wanna learn this on the piano just because why not 

Blanc said: 

https://open.spotify.com/track/04Z8OH1BVCtTZ9vk06SCtz?si=LbA4aq8WTpCBJM3Y2QW7vg 

 

I wanna learn this on the piano just because why not 

How long would it take you to pick it up? 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

https://open.spotify.com/track/04Z8OH1BVCtTZ9vk06SCtz?si=LbA4aq8WTpCBJM3Y2QW7vg 

 

I wanna learn this on the piano just because why not 

How long would it take you to pick it up? 

 Quite a while lol

My dad called me a retard (because i made the mistake of opening my mouth to say something) 

They’ve called me names my entire life, so I’m just... not a fan

i always forget, and am rudely reminded everytime i do *anything*, that i shouldn’t be doing that because these aren’t normal people i can talk to 

theyre people who will just ultimately hurt me, time and time again. No matter how hard one can possibly try. 

My therapist reminds me tirelessly to let it go and move on. So I’m reminding myself now again, of those very wise words. As i have to do countless times. Let it go, and move on. 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dissociative-disorders/ 

^lol i read the “things ppl with dissocitave disorders experience” and I’m like lol, all of them 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lateralization_of_brain_function 

this isn’t to say i have mpd aka did, its just educating myself about dissociation and the types of disorders how theyre different, etc. there are many types of them, and tho a psychiatrist suggested i had a dissociative disorder once so that’s what peaked my interest in it. 

I do find myself relating to the criteria and the people who have it some what, is that cause for an official diagnosis of course not. I’m not insinuating anything here, just educating myself abotu it so i can better understand it. 

It also helps a lot so if there are things i experience i can understand, oh, thats where that came from. lol

https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk 

^ i also found this which I’m really curious to research more about the organization because I’m very skeptical about it. They’re charging people money to participate in a forum which is made with a host that is completely free. The website costs nothing, the domain i mean. So this charitable organization is taking all of this money for what purpose exactly

and they’re requesting your private information in order to join??? Like,.... um excuse me why??? No honey you dont have the right to my information like that just to be a part of a charity organization, that is so, sketchy. 

What spooked me was the rainbows all over the website like what the fuck even is that, and the fact that the forum that costs twenty fucking dollars per member, to join, if u wanna be a part of this charity is like, made with a host that is free and incredibly easy to set up like 

it took me all of maybe 3 minutes to set up a near identical website to their forums structure... using the same host they did. Agh 

like why would someone just blindly give all their information and money to be a part of a charity and forum that they don’t even know what they’re even really doing with that money and what its about, like,... what, what is this lol

im just skeptical okay like most organizations operate on donations not mandatory fees so it just seems really odd

I’ve also been reading about this 

https://benjaminhardy.com/this-10-minute-routine-will-increase-your-clarity-and-creativity-2/ 

Okay continued research on first person plural website: 

i did a little digging and found an old news letter that had been mailed out to participants of the organization and members etc 

https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/fpp-vol16-3-email.pdf 

their efforts and aims seem disjointed and primarily concerned with showing off how legitimate they are, and the impact they’re making on the community 

they seem to be more about, being recognized. 

And then random shit thrown in between like games and stories that seem like they’re for children and some of which seem like they could be stolen NA or AA content (or ACA, trauma the 12 steps, alanon, or some other random support work book for ptsd, DBT or CBT therapy) so eerily similar.... , and there is typos btw in the letter. No one is editing them. And i could make a better PDF document if i was in third grade, the images aren’t even sized properly c’mon 

and they’re charging 70 dollars for events where they have “information” but then don’t even tell you what that information really is........ they charge a lot of money, in a lot of places. It’s, starting to gross me out a bit.

there is also an issue on the google of the organization the search results tell you its a “national” organization, and yet its membership is offered internationally. Just thought that was odd it should be called an international organization in that case no? *shrugs*

Damn, I’m gonna need to get like professional psychiatrists opinions on this group and need some reddit hackers to get in there and dig up a lot of information for me 

I just feel like there’s something wrong, like why are they having these events, its not like theyre raising awareness, they claim to be “educating” people but isn’t that what university tuition and books are for? Why not send out a book or better yet post it for fucking free if you care so much, online, for access to everyone? 

And what happens at these events you can’t get into unless you pay. I have a feeling that it’s sort of like Mary Kay, like you get into the group, and then they pedal you something else and something else, you end up spending money or, investing work in something.

like what if they have pharmaceutical reps at these events that come talk to psychiatrists and push drugs on them. This happens at medical events all the time, sometimes they’re even sponsors of the event... so they can be as ,much of a nuisance as they like, and paint their big corrupt drug company as something more amazing than it really is to all these people. 

You know? I don’t know I’m just really, confused about all the charges everywhere. Money money money money. Is this a charity, or an ATM I’m confused. 

What are they really contributing to, what difference are they making or trying to make, and who are they really helping. Seriously, who have they helped. Who has been helped by these people. 

Why are there games in their news letter for children i don’t understand what IS THIS 

like is “complex trauma” even a thing? Is that a diagnostic term, is that an accurate term to be used in the way they’re using it??

And in the description of their website this is their definition.... of dissociative disorders related to specifically trauma 

The complex dissociative identity conditions are common in those who have experienced protracted repeated trauma, of a severe or extreme nature, that started in early childhood. The associated trauma is usually childhood abuse, (sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual) and/or neglect, but may be other childhood trauma, e.g. recurrent invasive medical procedures; prolonged or repeated illness of a parent or other primary caregiver.

which i feel isn’t comprehensive or totally accurate in a way. 

First of all, it should be like, “common in those who have experience trauma. PERIOD. It doesn’t matter what age, how severe or “not severe” it seemed, when it started, or how long it lasted. It doesn’t even matter what TYPE of abuse it is, and there are a lot of things that are considered traumatic that aren’t even abuse. 

They didn’t even mention how prolonged illness or chronic illness, being diagnosed with health problem or misdiagnosed etc, like, there are a lot of trauma disorders associated with the realm of health, there is trauma for health care workers, there is trauma for EMTs and cops, veterans, etc. Even social media fame can be a form of PTSD like what Rebecca black went through, like, bullying, cyber bullying, they didn’t mention any of this. 

They don’t touch on the fact there is two types of PTSD or even go into the definition of PTSD. 

And they didn’t mention how there is an element to childhood trauma that is crucial, and complex trauma. Yes it can be repeated and severe, but there is also commonly in a lot of definitions the inclusion of a portion of text that says, “where the individual feels they are in immediate danger, or there is no escape.” I’m paraphrasing but, I’m confused why they chose to be so specific but then left out this very commonly included, piece of information when defining this sort of thing. 

And trauma isn’t just about threatening your life. Death is trauma. Divorce is trauma. Even moving, is considered trauma. Illness is trauma. Having a parent with substance abuse, psychological or personality/attachment disorder is traumatic. Neglect is a form of trauma. 

Like, they were very limited and narrow scoped here. They should of just stuck to the DSM definitions and called it a day but instead they decided to sort of cherry pick what they wanted to present complex trauma as, and left out like entire communities of people???? 

Agh 

And i DONT UNDERSTAND why they have triggering information in their news letters SENT to members who have TRIGGERS alskdfj;asdf i DONT UNDERSTAND 

no one with trauma wants to read constantly over and over again about sexual abuse its the last goddam thing they want to think about, it’s a huge trigger for people to read about these specific mentions of abuse, and it causes them to dissociate or have panic attacks or just get in a bad head space like 

.............. . .. .h ow is this helpful to their members....... *vomits*

this is sickening. No seriously, I’m sickened like.... people with severe complex trauma and dissociative disorder and ptsd have A LOT. Of anxiety and triggers i know because I’m one of them and if I’m not doing well and want support, this would be the last place i would go because its triggers EVERYWHERE 

you’ve got to be kidding me. *vomits again* lol 

seriously. What is this this makes no sense

like the channels on youtube who make videos for these type of viewers specifically are SUPER good about censoring themselves and writing and mentioning TRIGGER AHEAD DON’T FUCKING WATCH THIS SKIP AHEAD TO THIS POINT HERE and they *never* mention the word rape. Never. They just don’t. 

It’s a huge no no word like it’s not a socially accepted term among traumatized individuals its widely understood its an incredibly triggering word in and of itself and they have it on their front page of their news letter this is just, making me mad

Seriously i can’t finish even looking at this news letter because its giving me a flat out panic attack 

beacuse its that triggering 

what, the fuck 

now i can’t finish it because i have to go do stupid meditation exercises 

Ah finally someone who understands me lol 

my therapist makes me do some of these. Like i dont even realize I’m getting anxious but she notices it before me and hands me something to fidget with 

it helps my focus and anxiety immensely when having to talk about really difficult topics in therapy

and oh m,y god its really nice to have a therapist who understands trauma like truly understands ptsd and ptsd anxiety etc. she knows like what to do to make sure i dont go over the edge, so it helps me trust the situation and feel safe talking 

where as with other therapists i could never get into shit because it was too overwhelming and jarring for me and i would not be able to leave there feeling psychiatrically like, “okay” to even be alone like, it would send me over the edge and I couldn’t handle it or start having a panic attack 

so. Yeah she like makes sure I’m okay constantly and makes sure i leave there okay and grounded back at ground zero and she doesn’t push the envelope. 

She also includes wave sounds in the background which is perf for me 

when i walked into her office i just couldn’t stop smiling when i heard it because i was like,... oh wow. I can tell just by the way she had the place set up, she understood me. It’s very serene and spa like with lots of calming sensory around like everything about the place is made to make you feel fucking calm 

and for someone who feels constantly like a TRAIN WRECK its really nice. It’s a nice place to go to for me. 

Where as other places didn’t have that effect. I didn’t walk in and go “ah” I just, dreaded being there and was uncomfortable