dreams about trauma - 6 - Sociopath Community

RE: dreams about trauma

Turncoat · 2019-12-30T05:19:35.5370000

FOTS said: Can you read all of her posts for me and pick out the relevant sentence Not when it's framed as that daunting of a project.

this is just one example of how trauma and ptsd also results in "health" issues for people

and also the interchangeable reaction between physiological and mental health issues.

my "depression" I was diagnosed with- was, I would say, 25% helped with meds, 25% therapy, 25% life style, and 25% helped with a functional medicine doctor, who discovered the metabolic mishaps happening in my body- caused by PTSD, and some of which, caused depression.

Originally I had all these strange symptoms with no known cause. My parents were concerned, and had me checked out, by GP's, specialists. I had my heart looked at, my bladder, my kidneys. We ruled out asthma, Lyme disease, polysystic ovaries, and many cardio/pulmonary disorders, etc. One doctor suggested I was showing symptoms of left hemisphere brain damage due to the brain fog/memory issues and inability to focus that I was experiencing.

I had on onslaught of random symptoms, the prevailing issues being chronic fatigue- which included physical pain, and accompanied bouts of severe depression- worse than the usual depression I had all the time before treatment.

The memory and brain fog, and inability to focus was actually metabolic. The high resting heart rate, the kidney/bladder issues, the prone-ness I had to illness, the inability to breath from asthma like attacks in humid environments or following exercise, the occasional vomiting after what looks like- a "heart episode" to an ER doctor. Insomnia. Restless legs. Excessive sleeping. The fatigue and body aches- and even some of the anxiety and depression- as well as the inability to gain weight and the ability to lose weight excessively fast- it's all explained by a metabolic processing disorder/ auto immune.

As far as the details of this, it's complicated but if you're curious about it I can go into it but. Yeah, long story short there is a chain reaction of metabolic mishaps that happen in the body as a result of repeated and prolonged trauma.

So PTSD can actually be measured by someones physiology- not just neuropsychology. It's usually evident just in the blood work. Crazy?! Yeah.

We did a lot of testing. Because my mom was confused why I was so fucking tired all the time, why I had no desire to eat. Why I got sick so easily and couldn't recover quickly, and got sicker than most people did. But yeah, after psychiatric hospitalizations, she found the investment to be worthwhile in seeking a specialist opinion- because she just had a hunch there might be something we are missing in this confusing puzzle of symptoms and psychiatric issues, that all were extremely concerning to a parent, from the outside looking in. Hospitalizations for suicide, constantly sleeping, constantly "dead flat tired" looking/acting. Constant panic attacks.

During this time in my life, this was my normal, to be so tired acting it was like, how this girl is acting in this video- but I was that lethargic acting *all the time*. Some people thought I was just "chill" or "calm" but, I just genuinely felt like laying down- all of the time. I felt heavy. Sometimes my body almost felt "rusty?" and achey. flu like symptoms etc. And I couldn't remember anything, I couldn't focus.

So my mom took me to the doctor yeah and we found out,

My adrenal glands are shot, my cortisol glands are shot. Originally she actually ran it again because things just looked that out of whack. She thought it was a mistake.

I had b12, vitamin d3 with k2 deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, low white blood cell count, extreme anemia, and several other deficiencies, and intolerances. A metabolic processing disorder, and auto immune disorder.

That's where we left off, I haven't gone back for further testing (though she wanted to)

(the plan was I take all her meds for 90 days, we do more different tests- and the same tests- and that helps her see more specifically, what exact auto immune disorder I have, and just ruling out other issues and pin pointing things for accuracies sake)

but yeah, I just haven't gone back. Idk why.

But, the medication regiment she put me on (in addition to the very specific nutritional diet/exercise regiment) , helped significantly get me out from under this horrible rock that I felt stuck under like, this weight just began lifting when they started working, and I had energy and could move again, and think, and remember, and focus- etc.

it's not perfect- but, it's better than how I was before, which was just like this:

basically, they help me stand up and not feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my head.

now- you finally understand my extreme caffeine addiction.

if you felt that lethargic all the time. how the girl is in the video I linked- you would do whatever you could, if it worked, to cure or lift the weight of that just, intoxicating and suffocating fatigue.

(I used to feel like I was suffocatingly depressed. I described this to my doctors and this should of told them, that my problems were not just psychological but physiological as well. But, they never once suggested I see even a GP let a lone a functional medicine specialist. They really thought they could help me with just psych meds and therapy alone... tsk tsk.)

But yeah, no one used these words to describe their depression, in hospitals I met other depressed people but, no one knew what I was talking about when I say I felt like I was suffocating some days, and I just couldn't breath, or move. They were like uh... yeah I never had that issue.... um anyways..

and I had a lot of weird things like that that other people didn't have, just little things but, it was small little differences like that in regular depression- and medically/metabolically exasperated anx/depression that were the huge screaming indicators there was something more wrong and needed treatment than just the psych side of things.

They also handed me a slip of paper saying what PTSD was, and a paper with a phone number to call to go try EMDR therapy- and what EMDR was all about and how it can help people with PTSD.

I was so tired and depressed and just in a mental fog at this time, I couldn't even get myself out the door, I don't know how they expected I was going to do all these magical things for myself, but luckily it was my mom who dragged me to my EMDR appointments, who set them up, who dragged me to these doctors, made me do all these tests. And in my final semester she dragged me to class and drove me there- because I was so depressed, I didn't have the motivation to drive myself, and I was so suicidal and mentally unstable, I wasn't sure I could handle being by myself at this time. She made sure I wasn't left alone for quite a long time after I was released from the hospital. She made sure I ate. She dragged me into routines that would make sure I took my meds, and start me on a healthier cycle.

So yeah, without that, I would probably still be in bed honestly. I just feel like the psychiatric system is a little negligent in this way, to release these people that can barely care for themselves because of how mentally sick they are, and expect them to get better with meds that don't even work, a therapist who isn't even that good (I had to go and get better therapists, which, was once again, found by my mom, scheduled by her, and I was dragged to repeadetely by her).

It's... there is a lot of unsaid stuff that goes on with mental illness that's really pathetic but it's not, fictitious or made up for dramatic effect, it's just the raw reality. It's more than just symptoms, it's an entire point of dysfunction that your life spills onto others, and they're essentially dragging you like a heavy weight around, trying to make you function again (but you can't, no matter how hard you try, or want to.)

So it's important to be patient with people who are struggling, and it's really important to make sure they have the proper care they need.

And finding the balance that even came remotely close to working for me, as far as meds and life style and treatment/therapies etc. Took a very long time- too long in my opinion for someone in crisis- and, then the amount of time it took to even begin working was a long period as well.

It's as if I spent three years of my life doing stabs in the dark, and slowly "powering on" like an old computer trying to reboot.

And that's just a little glimpse or shedding a little more light on what it's like to be diagnosed with PTSD. My "fake" illness.