You should make sure to refute someone's points against someone else first to at least attempt to cover up your sucking up bb
The fuck?
She wrote most of that for me.
After this convo.
You should thank her :P
It's harder to take someone's words entirely on a surface level when they are being expressed from a subtext that tells a different story. If someone like Spatial Mind or myself typed it, it'd have caused people to respond entirely differently. The speaker does affect the message, and it's worth addressing that, especially when it's having said speaker say a message that's likely different than it appears.
We also seem to be on opposite sides for which her is closer to the "real" Raven. I can't stand the acting and I find the self-contradicting somewhat distracting from the message.
It is very common that we react differently to the same thing said by different people. It says more about our relationship with the posters, than about the message or the poster themselves. We react based on likes and dislikes. Objectivity is more of a pretense that we think, and you're not above this either. I don;t even condemn this behavior too much, tbh, but why not point it out from time to time. We are humans, not machines.
Believe me, I understand that everything, everything, is subjective.
Honestly, I like Raven, a lot, I like how straight-forward and unconcerned she can appear at times, but I find her emotionally decadent self more honest and strong. Her denial of herself serves to weaken herself, and her acting like we need to become more like her ideal pushes that guilt-ridden tempering further. She says the following, and while I believe that it's true, the message falls short for me when she's not exactly a paragon of it herself:
"It is far braver to be your genuine self no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, because that is the only way you will learn to build real strength. You will never know how great you can be as long as you're stuck pretending to be great."
"Ego is the enemy. It's a fucking liar. Pandering to it keeps you weak. I dare you to stop faking it. Stop saying you don't care. Stop acting like it doesn't matter. Stop lying to yourself about how awesome you are compared to everyone else."
About half of what's said is valid on it's own, namely the above and the portions about defending yourself through being fake, but some of it falls into areas of outdated generalization and a glamorization of "bravery" that shows more about her than her target audience. I know she humbly refers to herself as a "student", but her implications of her feeling like she's a few grades higher than we are shows how much that she isn't. It ironically echoes the ego through how much she claims that it's bad.
Her trying to change herself into something "healthier" has instead become a way to feed her ego through a different diet, one that risks denying if not repressing elements of her genuine nature, her real strengths that she's been convinced are "bad". Through this idea of what makes someone a better person, she's potentially handicapping herself away from half of her toolkit.
Looking at this, it reeks somewhat of projection of my own. I went through a "I need to be better than myself" period as well from some guilt over some past High School BS, and hilariously enough SC was one of the sources for enlightenment that helped me become that much closer to my true nature, giving me room to focus on my strengths and become confident in them instead of continuing to weaken myself out of some misplaced sense of guilt, a fixation on who I should to be instead of embracing who I really am. So much of life is people trying to shape you into who you're supposed to be, yet the real answers instead came for me from finding who I was without them, in spite of them. Caring less about what they think is a large part of what opened me up to myself.
Insulting her for that also has me insulting my past self, and to some degree I'd guess my present one as well.
Edit: Insulting is too strong of a word, but I can't think of another one for it.
Not revealing one's true self in an online forum is an interesting concept. However, there's only so much you can show while communicating in such a fashion. Therefore, I wouldn't say that it is most certainly the case.
As for me, I believe that in any situation I show as much of myself as the circumstances permit. For instance, in school I always found the line of how much I can misbehave or act in a fashion that makes me feel comfortable for each class, depending on factors like teacher's tolerance to bullshit and my own knowledge regarding the subject (easier to get away if you can answer the questions asked to show that you weren't paying attention, etc.). It was a process of me upping my performance and observing the reaction it provoked in "The Man". Otherwise I'd end up having a stern talk or a trip to principal's office which obviously restricts my freedom to do as I please.
During one literature class in fifth grade we had a topic on "masks", which I greatly frowned upon and deemed as utter bollocks, because, the way I saw it, showing different behavioral traits is still being oneself because one simply can only act in a way that s/he is capable of, therefore it is being who you are. For instance, I have little to no knowledge of the culture of the blacks and couldn't for the life of me burst out mad nigga rap rhymes. Because of that, I simply am incapable of acting black. However, if the skill was acquired, it would become something that is mine and not some facade. Teacher then said "you have many many masks Mee..." and, of course, didn't elaborate. What a cunt.
We have an influx of tourists lately and quite a few ask me for directions and whatnot. We commute in English. During these interactions I noticed how my speech pattern tends to vary, e.g. I was talking differently when asked to take a pic of this Russian girl and giving directions to two Italians. Slightly different accent was also used while talking with the elderly and it happens rather involuntary. Actually in my teens I had this annoyance of having words come out in a slightly childish tone while talking with older people, e.g. saying hello while taking stairs, etc. That I had to get rid of with some practice and focus.
During a conversation I'm usually the one asking questions and then more questions that stem from the answers, only pitching in ever so often when I feel like it would benefit for the chat. Being asked questions always felt like some sort of an interrogation, severity varying on the topic and the person who asks. I'm much more comfy sharing when I wish. I especially hated being asked who I am as a child. I'd go blank for a moment and then start bursting out my hobbies.
The pic sharing in SC, perceived as me seeking an ego stroke by the projecting narcs, happened rather randomly, tho it's understandable considering it occurred when I moved from threads and pubs to pm's. Before I always perceived it as a thing that was only a manifestation of recklessness as in my mind it could only mean trouble while giving nothing in exchange. What I noticed then, was that different people reacted to the same visual differently, so a pic became a question. Since given reactions don't change who I am in the slightest, it was always more of a way to probe into the people I talked with.
Also I tend to act somewhat differently while pm'ing with different people, tho the chats begin with a "hello there" at first. Which is nice as I can improve some of my behavioral traits in the process.
In retrospect, I always preferred things that were less stagnant, e.g. literature to maths, biochem to anatomy (I just see a fucking bone in front of me with some texture differences, how interesting! Tho wondering how the currently preserved remains ended up on our table and lived its life was a pleasant thought exercise albeit it went nowhere). Poking reactive objects with a stick is much more intriguing than poking a rock.
I'd say that I'm being open here. And I'm obviously learning things.
Turncoat stated: source post
Her trying to change herself into something "healthier" has instead become a way to feed her ego through a different diet, one that risks denying if not repressing elements of her genuine nature, her real strengths that she's been convinced are "bad". Through this idea of what makes someone a better person, she's potentially handicapping herself away from half of her toolkit.
Hm, just one idea thrown out. Is a Raven trying to change herself into smth healthier, a less genuine Raven? Is it not the real Raven wanting that? Unless you are accusing her of purposefully putting up a facade...It's still the genuine Raven thinking and saying all this, isn't it?
Also, she is the only person able to tell the difference between "healthy" and "bad" in her life. She's the one who can best appreciate what her strengths and weaknesses in life are. She appreciates/lives the effects directly. If she feels better after reaching these conclusions, and with these new perspectives, it makes sense to encourage her instead of saying it's better for her to be a version you like or enjoy more.
It's not a conscious act, but it is still a denial of the self. She is this person, but she is also that person, and that person seeps through the cracks every so often to reveal it's honest self. Why deny that side of herself when it could instead be understood and accepted for what it is, potentially embraced on some level even instead of demonizing it from other pressures?
Sometimes it takes outside people throwing their own two cents into the mix for someone to reach whatever epiphany they'll find on their own, even if something like what I said ends up pushing in the opposite direction. Would you say the same second paragraph about every user here, and would you say this perspective is still "new" at this point? She's likely gauging for responses as opposed to merely ranting, and this is how I feel about it, and while she might feel better by comparison, what if there's somewhere where she'll feel better than that better, or what if that "better" is some form of denial?
Her rant is about being brave and real. She has brave down pretty well, but real is still worth questioning when the self might not know what real is. Identity isn't easy to grasp. This aspect of her reminds me of some of Alter's mentions of self-correction, and I'm the sort to ponder when and why it's wrong when it's not all weakness.