First off, I didn't say my story was about her asexuality I simply said the main character is asexual. Second, I'm not asking for pointers on how to write my book. I want people's points of view on asexuality.
Yes, she was bisexual and would have desired a sexual component to our relationship. That caused strain, obviously, which was exacerbated by the fact that she'd suffered an eating disorder as a teenager, and had some hang-ups about her attractiveness. It was very difficult for her to reconcile my absence of sexual attraction with the love I reported to have felt for her - she considered those to be intertwined in some way.
Kissing was difficult, yes. I obliged when she initiated, purely to allay concerns that she was undesired etc. I find the act itself very uncomfortable.
The relationship ended very messily, and it's quite a story :P The short version is that compounding strain came to light at a Halloween party, when I'd been spending more time with friends of ours. "Neglecting" her as it were, which I think stirred up feelings of neglect throughout the relationship.
Throw in ample libations, loud music and people dressed as ghouls and you get the Hindenburg of breakups :P
And I'm saying that if the character's asexuality is not an attention grabbing plot point, it's just a coincidental bit of backstory and you can write it any way you want.
Tweens are expected to be virginal and adults are not.
If you write about asexuality from the pov of a bunch of adults (who are expected to have sexual partners) you might end up wasting valuable time on your research and accomplishing nothing but a bunch of contrived sounding plot points that will only make your audience go WTF?
Yes and no. I have enormous difficulty allowing people to get to know me, which essentially castrates any fleeting interest. I occasionally meet someone I like, hang out a bit, and then completely shut down and sever all ties if they show the slightest fondness.
I don't imagine I'll ever have another relationship like the one I had with my ex. We met in very unnatural circumstances as well (a psych ward), so she had a rare opportunity to know me, which I don't afford to anyone else.
I'm content with the life of an eccentric spinster :P
ImNotHer stated: source post
For those of you who are not asexual, what is your opinion about the idea that some people do not experience sexual attraction
I feel sorry for them and believe they're missing out on a huge aspect of life and human interaction. I'll try to understand the reason behind someone being asexual. Is it just absent libido? Maybe it's hormones then, and odd in young people. Is it disgust/revulsion/discomfort when it comes to sexual intimacy? I tend to believe it's smth psychologically negative, some trauma, some fear, some insecurity.
and would you consider dating someone asexual?
No.
It's way too difficult for someone sexual and someone asexual to have a working long term relationship imo. Seems too big a compromise to me, with both people feeling bad about it.
Edvard stated: source post
ImNotHer stated: source post
For those of you who are not asexual, what is your opinion about the idea that some people do not experience sexual attractionI feel sorry for them and believe they're missing out on a huge aspect of life and human interaction. I'll try to understand the reason behind someone being asexual. Is it just absent libido? Maybe it's hormones then, and odd in young people. Is it disgust/revulsion/discomfort when it comes to sexual intimacy? I tend to believe it's smth psychologically negative, some trauma, some fear, some insecurity.
Why do you feel sorry for them? It's their choice not to have sex, that means they are "missing out" because they don't like it
and would you consider dating someone asexual?No.
It's way too difficult for someone sexual and someone asexual to have a working long term relationship imo. Seems too big a compromise to me, with both people feeling bad about it.
You'd reject someone because she won't fuck you?
Didn't expect anything else from you, Eddie. That's just you, lol
ImNotHer stated: source post
First off, I didn't say my story was about her asexuality I simply said the main character is asexual. Second, I'm not asking for pointers on how to write my book. I want people's points of view on asexuality.
lol, there she is..