You need self checkout.
Trigger? Um... I've been wondering for awhile now if you people understand the meaning of the word.
Are you all trying to tell me that the stimuli you've listed here have caused you to remember an incident from your past that was so traumatic that the mere memory of it fills you with fight/flight hormones that turn your legs to jelly and cause you to hyperventilate or attack somebody in a blind rage?
Pseudoscience? Srsly Cricket? You want to murder every fortune teller you see?
Did some fortune teller try to sodomize you with a green dildo while telling you s/he was god and extraterrestrial all in one or smthg?
XD
And Tryp... slow people at the checkout counter? Come on...
Here are my only 2 triggers. Cops with guns pointed at my head and car crashes. Anything else that annoys or disappoints is only a mild nuisance. Not a trigger by its proper definition.
You could sorta throw threats of violence in there, but the person has to be right up in my physical space and the threat has to be fairly certain. Internet trolls and mouthy rl retards don't count. There's usually little to no fear on my part when I do violence, either. So I'm not sure if happy rages count.
Cops with guns and looming windshields in donutting vehicles are fucking facemelting scary, tho.
Tryptamine stated: source post
People in front of me in line buying 4-5 lotto tickets while I'm just trying to buy my sparkling water and leave work is infuriating to me. 5 minutes of my life wasted by clings of hope; a fantasy of "striking it big," despite the astronomically low probability of that.
this
Xena stated: source post
Trigger? Um... I've been wondering for awhile now if you people understand the meaning of the word.
Technically what you're talking about is a "Trauma Trigger", referred to as "trigger" for short. Naturally the word by itself has more than one meaning, even in the field, referring at it's simplest form to a stimuli that causes a reaction that otherwise wouldn't have been the case. When talking to people who are dealing with addicts for instance, a trigger is something that can threaten a relapse. What we're talking about meanwhile are "Emotional Triggers", not that "Trigger Warning" shit they throw all over Reddit, with the severity set to mild.
On your version of the topic for the sake of conversation, the smell of clay from those skin care clay masks, the sight of my rapist, the sound of her voice, seeing people of a similar appearance, be it build or facial shape, talking to someone about it, even just hearing her name used to be enough to cause the startings of a panic attack. I had to do a lot of self-conditioning to try to make that stop, forced exposure to the smell, to photos, to old recordings, made art projects, did research, I had to push myself against my own instincts to dull and kill them. I could tell that my mind wanted to push it all away, find ways to go about as if it never happened, just move on with my life no matter the self expense it'd cause as long as nothing were to push those memories back to the forefront instead of the back pocket of my mind I couldn't consciously access without said triggers, but that would have meant enabling weaknesses that could come up at other times. That'd have meant leaving it unresolved in my head to become something worse down the line. I'd already seen what OCD triggers can do to me, I couldn't risk something more immediately severe than that being caused just because someone looks or smells a certain way without expecting that I might be committed over it. A year of self torture was worth it to be able to move on as much as I could. Tolerance and wisdom, growth as a person, come from exposure, and as long as it was tucked away in a place I couldn't consciously reach, as long as it remained a blind spot, I'd never hope to recover.
Are you all trying to tell me that the stimuli you've listed here have caused you to remember an incident from your past that was so traumatic that the mere memory of it fills you with fight/flight hormones that turn your legs to jelly and cause you to hyperventilate or attack somebody in a blind rage?
If by somebody you mean myself, then yes. I'd get very self-directed violent urges that took a lot to not act out on. When I was younger I'd risk doing things that hurt myself as an automatic response. I've reduced the responses I have to those sorts of things significantly, but there's always more work to be done, seeing as pre-existing stress can wear down those walls no matter how much time I try to condition myself to resist the urge to bash my head into a wall to make the insistences stop, the urge to rock back and forth and tune out these strange stimulus that could cause minor breakdowns.
The worst of it was in my late teens to early twenties, around the time that my schizophrenia was coming to light in full force. PTSD stressers naturally didn't help, reducing me to a creature that'd speak to myself in public... and reply to myself as opposed to mere thinking aloud. I'd either be completely unwashed or red in the skin from scrubbing too hard, I had scratches on my skin from gripping at myself in horror over the dumbest things, bruises that I'd excuse when people asked about them on the masochism, almost busted my left hand from repeated hitting of things with it, and trying to have a conversation with me would overtime become a confused and twitchy affair I'd need to excuse myself during to save face. I'd excuse myself to use the restroom to regather myself if I didn't outright waste sick days and voluntarily lower my grades in classes from being afraid of going outside, assuming they were out to poison my food if not try to kill me with their cars in a hit and run they'd never find the source of, with knives while walking through the halls... that is each time that I wasn't the risking factor and had to stay inside so that I wouldn't do something foolish for them. It always started as a mild form of agoraphobia, but down the line the creative mind finds some way to find nonsensical reasons for a nonsensical fear.
I've improved significantly, but those days can always always come back if I'm not careful. It's always when I feel the safest, the times where I question if I really ever had a problem or if it was all in my head, that an episode comes on. The resistance takes a constant effort, but that effort as of late anyway feels like it takes less out of me to maintain. Being alone also seems to bring some of it back overtime from lacking someone to use as a comparative baseline and a distraction from the machinations in my own head. Without a constant focus on my own composure everything risks going to shit, which was naturally a problem when I tricked myself into thinking that following OCD triggers was a means, a requirement, of self-maintenance. By myself there's less reason to hide my own behaviors, so my composure can take a bit of a hit from the necessity for it becoming lower, but it's always more taxing and time consuming to climb out of that, showing me that it's never acceptable for me to drop my composure voluntarily, no matter how exhausted by the efforts that I might become.
Life also tends to become significantly easier when another is in charge of me, as no matter how strict they might be, they won't be, can't be as bad to me as I am to myself. It's like being on a mental vacation to be following the orders of someone I trust and respect. Pain too serves as an outlet for these tensions, granting me more of a sense of peace than yoga, meditation, and a day at the spa combined for a normal person. It breaks down those walls, lets me not need to have that draining sense of composure, and releases what's been storing itself for so long, leaving me a sane, thankful, wet noodle of appreciation and awe for the person who is substituting the strict, delusional, self-attacking senses of my own head. It's the closest to being able to overlook my OCD issues that I can find.
Turncoat stated: source post
Life also tends to become significantly easier when another is in charge of me, as no matter how strict they might be, they won't be, can't be as bad to me as I am to myself. It's like being on a mental vacation to be following the orders of someone I trust and respect.
I know this feeling. It is the reason why one of the most euphoric memorable moments I had in my life is being lead through a forest in the middle of nowhere blindfolded. I felt like I was figuratively walking on clouds. I did not have to think where to step. I was free of all responsibilities. It was like walking on a balance with blind faith. This person had to make sure I did not get hit by branches, trip over roots, fall down edges... #SUBLIFE
It is funny though because the guy who lead me through the forest was a guy who like to make fun of me sometimes. It is not too unusual to be made fun of in high school. I could tell it was not hateful mocking. In high school a bunch of guys just like to yell out my name in class. I would turn around and ask them what is going on. In the end they would just pretend they never even said my name. I guess maybe teasing is a better word than mocking.
It got pretty bad because at one point in technology class a few guys took a live camera that is streaming to the class. I was not paying attention and they took this opportunity to film up my skirt. The teacher got pissed and said school cameras are not for porn. So they were made to apologize to me and have detention.
My high school come to think of it was actually pretty cool for a religious school. I mean one year the guys who were considered hot from my grade went in front of the whole school to present a dance for the school. Instead of dancing they ended up stripping down... All they had on left was that yellow caution rope to cover their genitals. It got broken up pretty quick by the teachers.
It reminds me of this one time this guy told me I was wearing too much blush. I answered awkwardly informing him that I am not wearing blush because I did not even own blush at the time. I ended up blushing even more... :$
Triggers?
So I don't get angry too often so I might as well name all of my triggers.
1. LOVE
So the word love is the cringiest word I have ever heard. I use to feel physical pain anytime someone said they loved me or cared about me. I would feel this in my wrists. I think it was my muscles quenching in Adrenalin. It must be triggering the fight or flight adrenaline response. I am better around the word love.
I might just quench my jaw if I hear the word love directed towards me. It is because I assume anyone who says they love me is a liar and of the worst kind. It is a personal attack on me. I am not one that is too distraught by lies in general. I just hate any lies revolving around love. In response I might test the person on their word and or push them away until they revoke the word.
It only works as a trigger if the person seems like they might be being honest. I would not be triggered by a friend who says they love me in a cute lovey dovey way. I would not be triggered if it is said after I buy people gifts. I bought everyone in my dorm floor a hundred dollars worth of pizza and candy on Halloween. I was praised as a god and told I was loved. I don't really like to be praised as a god because that comes with too much responsibilities. It does not trigger me if a family members says they love me because I know they are just saying that because it is socially expected. I'm just letting you all know so if you start trying to troll me with the word love I will not be upset. In fact it will show me your dislike of me so it would assure me even more.
I would rather be told I am hated than I am loved. I see more certainty in hatred. I know someone who hates me will always be against me. In the case they are not against me then it is a pleasant surprise. If someone loves me though... It is harder to say if they are for me or against me... It could be they really do love me and I just need to stop being so defensive. It could be that they are plotting against or toying with me. In less extreme cases they might be exaggerating. I should mention that in love there is a lot of uncertainty.
2. INSULTING MY DOG
I hate when anyone insults my dog to his face. I know he probably does not understand which just makes the person who throws the insult more pathetic. I grow in resentment and anger towards the person and I start to yell. I think he is my favorite living being in this whole world for the moment.
My little husky is by baby so no one messes with him.
3. OPPOSING SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT
I judge the situation and see how severe the situation is... It's like in the lyrics of this song...
"Forget sanity, forget salary, forget vanity, my morality" if you mess with someone I care about "You're gonna feel the heat of my cavalry."
Astamiss stated: source post
2. INSULTING MY DOG
I hate when anyone insults my dog to his face. I know he probably does not understand which just makes the person who throws the insult more pathetic. I grow in resentment and anger towards the person and I start to yell. I think he is my favorite living being in this whole world for the moment.
My little husky is by baby so no one messes with him.
Reminds me somewhat of this: Thai man faces jail for insulting king's dog with 'sarcastic' internet post.
The guy even wrote an illustrated book and had an animated movie made about his pet.